Habitual Gratitude

Today I am grateful for safe travels over the weekend and the enjoyable family time. I am also grateful for the beautiful weather we had the last couple of days. I have been waiting for months for the opportunity to run outside in shorts and a t-shirt. I have been dreaming about such a day. Craving such a day. I got close one day a couple weeks ago. Capris and  one long-sleeved shirt. But yesterday was the real deal. Shorts and a t-shirt, a short-sleeved one. Layers be gone! I felt lighter, faster. And not just from those few pounds I have taken off. Though necessary, the layers added weight and bulk. It is freeing to shed them in these early days of spring. The forecast promises chillier temperatures again soon, but I got a taste of what I have to look forward to. The layers may be needed again, but I know it will be only temporary. April is almost here. Rain showers today. Budding flowers in a matter of weeks. It is worth mentioning too that this slow snow melt, though...

Today I am grateful for rain to wash away some of the winter dirt. (And I am grateful it wasn't the snow some parts of Minnesota were getting, though we did see a dusting of that too.) I am also grateful for this blog and the many lessons it has taught me and continues to teach me on a regular basis. A comment from my friend Sheila in an email yesterday reminded me that I have been blogging for two years already. In fact, my blog was born on March 27, 2012. You can read that first post titled "Welcome to Habitual Gratitude" here . In that post I said "In this blog, I plan to share thoughts, feelings, and actions surrounding gratitude." I wanted to help others see the effective and healthy benefits of gratitude practice. I hope I have done that. It continues to be a strong part of my motivation and inspiration. What I didn't anticipate is how much more I would learn about gratitude and about myself. What an odyssey it has been. Part of my destination is r...

Today I am grateful for the wisdom of pausing, just pausing. I am learning to keep practicing this pause. I am also grateful for good fun in the form of a scavenger hunt. I can't remember the last time I took part in a scavenger hunt. Until last Saturday that is. My friend Faith had a great idea and got it ready for the rest of us.Thanks Faith! We were randomly divided into two teams. It required driving from Lake City to Wabasha, about 15 miles down the road, so we took two vehicles. There was music from the eighties on the radio and strategizing going on as we made the short trip. The next couple hours were teamwork and friendly competition at their best. There were about 20 different things on the list, ranging from a receipt for 50 cents in gas, to a picture of our team all on a slide, to a certain "Welcome to Wabasha" sign. We also needed a 1983 coin (for our graduation year) and a picture of an eagle in flight as well as an ice fishing shack (both also appropria...

Today I am grateful for a nap yesterday, even if it was a short one. I am also grateful for our house and the new arrangements and colors in certain rooms that bring a freshness to everything. Yesterday I wrote about joy and pain, laughter and tears. Tuning into the news can be more painful than joyful most of the time. That is why I don't delve too deeply past the headlines on most days. With tragedies like the mudslide in Washington and the terrible mystery of Flight 370, it's tough to wrap my head around such news. My thoughts and prayers go out to the victims and their families. Life is precious. Treat it as such. Just for today. Let me turn my focus now to more news of the good kind: my weekend with my friends and one of the lingering inspirations I am feeling from our time together. It all started with a t-shirt and this picture: Brenda, on the left, is wearing a shirt that says "Drinks well with others." Rita's shirt is easier to read.We had a fe...

Today I am grateful for underbed storage totes and time to go through some of our "stuff." I am also grateful for time spent with my friend Dorothy yesterday. Joy and pain. Laughter and tears. There was plenty of laughter among the "Lake City Nine" this weekend, but also some tears. Between us, we have known much joy and suffered through our share of pain. From the death of loved ones, to challenges for our relationships and for our children, to cancer diagnoses and other health concerns. The details don't matter. We have all weathered difficult times and we have all basked in the joy of celebrating life's wonders. Life doesn't guarantee us constant joy and laughter. But it also isn't meant to be all tears and pain either. I believe life gives us both ends of the spectrum so we appreciate it all more. If things were always going well, we would lose perspective and start to feel entitled. Appreciation for all of our gifts would erode as we came to...

Today I am grateful for safe travels to and from Lake City, MN for nine of us who had a girls' weekend this weekend. I am grateful for old friends, shared history, and fresh memories to add to that history. The picture below captures us at a local establishment on Saturday evening. It also captures a lot of smiles. That fit our time together this weekend. A lot of smiles. A lot of fun. A lot of laughter. A lot of food. A lot of beverage. A lot of talking. A lot of gratitude for the opportunity to get together and a great rental home to share for the weekend. We are Rita, Beth, Sheila, Brenda, Tracy, Faith, Melissa, me, and Lori. We are classmates, some since kindergarten, all since our freshman year of high school. We are now nearing the milestone of 50 years on the planet. (Which reminds me, today is my sister Ruth's 50th birthday. Happy Birthday!) This was our second annual gathering. Last year it was "March Madison." This year we were the "Wild Women of Wa...

Today I am grateful for the sound of birds singing. I am also grateful for sore muscles that feel better when I get moving, all reminding me of the gift of mobility. Sentimental clothes? I guess it is more sentimental Lisa regarding her clothes. I am a keeper of many things, and I am sentimental on many levels. As we have gone through closets and totes in recent days, I have come across items in what I call my "clothing archives."  There are certain things I won't part with . . . the sweatshirts from my college softball playing days, a t-shirt signed by a team I coached, the little Valentine outfit we got for Sam that he wore his first day in the world beyond the womb. I even recall the first Colorado t-shirt I got on my first trip there to visit my sisters. I was 16 and thought I was pretty clever to have a shirt that said "Get High on the Rockies."  Sad, but true. Many of these artifacts are safely packed away, to be saved and not worn. But some of my se...

Today I am grateful for easily available clean water to drink.(Talk about something I take for granted.) I am also grateful for these fingers that work as I type this post. We tend to hear people talking more about try harder than try easier. Sometimes try harder is okay. Like when I am running up a hill, or covering the last miles of a marathon, or pursuing getting my writing published, or keeping my mouth shut when to open it would mean harsh words coming out. But trying harder can also backfire. I may end up pushing my own agenda without even realizing I am ignoring the input of others. Instead of letting things unfold as they are meant to, trying too hard can cause things to unravel and fray. Trying too hard creates physical and mental tension which then also impacts my emotional and spiritual well-being. The physical tension alone builds stress and then manifests itself in ways that are less than pleasant. Try easier. Go with the flow. Accept. Keep it simple. Do the next r...

Today I am grateful for the feel of smooth-writing pens on paper. I am also grateful for eyes that work and see color. The painting is winding down at our house. Rooms have been rearranged. Old has been upgraded to new. There is still plenty to do, but I think about all we have gotten done in the last week or so and it is a satisfying feeling. We went with some new color schemes in a couple of our rooms. We have some soothing gray tones now that we are glad we selected. Maybe I shouldn't pick paint colors based on the name given to a particular color, but on the other hand a name like "mindful gray" has to be a good choice doesn't it? It already is or soon will be in all or part of three different rooms/areas of our house. Besides the gray being calming, I hope I remember the mindful part too. Mindful. Present. Stay in today. Take one thing at a time. And try to appreciate that the white outside, in the form of fresh snow, is all part of the plan too. Have a ...

Today I am grateful for this house we live in and the many things we love about it. I am also grateful for my recovery friends and the hope and experience we share with one another. We have been quite busy around our house as we have moved ahead with some projects like painting and switching our son Sam from one bedroom to another. We have cleaned areas that haven't been cleaned in a long, long time. There have been several purchases with much packaging. We have created more garbage and recyclables in a few days than we would typically create in a few weeks. I have literally been around the house many times in recent days. Room to room. Level to level. I have put miles on I am sure. I am grateful for our house and for the anticipation and excitement that come with changes and updates. I am grateful also for the memory that was sparked by mention of "around the house." That was the name of a game we played when I was growing up. It could be described as hide-and-seek i...

Today I am grateful for fresh air, lamplight, and the promise of this new day. Last evening I was sitting at one end of our dining room table enjoying a glass of milk and a delectable bar. (It included chocolate chips and peanut butter, but was still a healthier version of dessert.) Dusk was arriving and the shade wasn't yet drawn. As I looked out the window, our granite tabletop reflected the bare trees in our backyard. Those bare trees and that table brought me right back to another memory. It was September of 2008, two weeks after I had my first round of chemotherapy. On a Saturday afternoon, sitting at the opposite end of that same table, I had my head shaved. My head was pretty much bare, like the ash trees in winter. My hair grew back. The leaves will return to the trees. I will continue to practice gratitude.

Today I am grateful for my friend Betsy and the ways that we support one another. I am also grateful for life lessons that teach me more about myself. Some days life feels like smooth sailing on calm waters. On other days, it feels like a rough ride on a choppy sea. Either can last for days, weeks, or longer, depending on our circumstances and what life is throwing at us. When my life is smooth sailing for a time, I sometimes get fearful that my luck is running out, that the tide will turn, that something bad is going to happen. That used to be my usual thought process actually, fed by feelings of unworthiness and self-pity. It's normal to fear bad things happening. It means we have things to lose. It means we have love in our lives. But if it is overpowering my thoughts and darkening my days, I need to "start swimming" to calmer waters. Gratitude practice is my swimming. Staying in today is my life jacket. I don't regret yesterday as much or fear tomorrow as much...

Today I am grateful for sore muscles reminding me of my physical capabilities. I am also grateful for my son Sam's healthy growth and development. Sam has outgrown his twin bed so we are in the process of switching bedrooms and beds for him. We are getting some painting done, spring cleaning, going through totes we haven't gone through in years, downsizing and updating.  A lot of work has been done. Hence, the sore muscles. A lot more remains to be done. But I appreciate that we are able to do this, financially and otherwise. Those totes hold the stuff of our lives. Each time I take a look at some of the things I have kept, I am amazed at how quickly the years have gone. And I am grateful for the full life I am living. Things could have been so different if I had continued drinking, or not made a move when I did. Life is like that. Each time I go through some of these totes, I also seem readier to get rid of things that I was hanging on to. Certain things are perman...

Today I am grateful for my husband Darcy and the ways we complement and challenge one another.I am also grateful for the early morning energy I typically possess. I came across the word sincere in one of my recovery readings yesterday, and it has been nibbling at my brain since then. Am I a sincere person? Do I practice sincerity? I hope so. I try to. Sincerity is defined as honesty of mind, having or showing true feelings that are expressed in an honest way; genuine, real. Showing true feelings means that they will sometimes be painful or ugly. I can be sincerely frustrated or sincerely angry. But at those times, I sincerely hope I handle myself in a way that is honest but not hurtful. That is my goal. I don't always reach it. Better to release those feelings though, than to let them ferment, grow, and cause more harm. My approach to this blog, to the regular practice of gratitude, is sincere. And this sincere effort continues to deepen and broaden my spirituality, my overal...

Today I am grateful for a strong back to lift and carry. I am also grateful for our kitchen table and all the things it holds and does for us. Patience. A little bit goes a long way. Spring fever has hit. I have a full-blown case, as do most of the people I know who live in my part of the country. An unkind, unrelenting winter set us up for some serious cases of this fever known to cause joy and a mess at the same time. There will be mud. There will be muck. There will be a messy dog. There will be smiles for no reason other than the morning air doesn't shock a person's system. There will be levity at the brevity now required to get out the door. Boots, hat, and mittens along with several layers, are no longer required for every trip outdoors. There will also be the requisite patience. All that snow piled up outside didn't get there in a week. It's not going away in a week. From several layers to shorts and a t-shirt may be what we feel like wearing, but our patienc...

Today I am grateful for a convenient hook on a door just when I needed one. I am also grateful for a willingness to keep learning and growing, even when it is hard work. Sometimes I tell myself to "shut up!" When my train of thoughts starts going down the wrong track-fear, worry, perfectionism, impatience and such-that simple refrain can be enough to stop me from getting totally derailed. It can help me get back on the right track. My brain is not always my best friend. Today I more quickly realize when it is out to get me and I rein it in. Sometimes I need to tell myself to "snap out of it!" Those words come in handy when one of my other old friends-self-pity-tries to win a way back into my heart and soul. I so appreciate that my gratitude practice catches the sneaky self-pity sooner rather than later, before it gets a foot in the door. Gratefulness is a most effective gatekeeper. Snap out of it Lisa! What about the people on the missing Malaysian airliner an...

Today I am grateful for simplicity and a taste of spring in the air to start the week off. I am also grateful for my friend Jill and our conversation yesterday. Mother Nature served us up an absolutely glorious day yesterday. The kind of day that if you didn't already have spring fever, you do now. The thermometer topped fifty degrees. I drove my car with the windows down. There was some serious melting going on. I walked out in short sleeves in the middle of the afternoon. We opened some windows in the house to let in some fresh air. I heard a motorcycle when I was out running. That same cycle then passed me on my run and the guy gave me a little wave and I returned it. He wasn't anyone I know, but I guess we were acknowledging the great weather we were both out enjoying. Nice days are like some universal language we all share and understand. Glorious is just the perfect word for the kind of day it was. If you live in a place where the climate isn't as extreme as it ca...

Today I am grateful for the sounds of melting and the sights of road and trail surfaces we haven't seen in months. I am also grateful for a wonderful meal of teriyaki salmon and vegetables prepared by my husband Darcy. Sure-footed came to my mind as I was out walking the other day. It is a nice word, meaning not liable to stumble, fall or err. It goes right along with balance. We have been enjoying warmer temperatures the last few days and snow has given way to ice to slush to even clear roads and trails in some spots. It has been a welcome mess, believe me. But it also requires caution. There is refreezing at night, making early mornings treacherous if you aren't careful. Watch your step, figuratively and literally. It's always a good idea, but especially in slippery places. This winter has required months of careful treading as I have walked Oliver, gone to and from my car in various parking lots, tried to run outside on nicer days, and shoveled our driveway after the...

Today I am grateful for taste buds to savor the foods I am choosing to eat mindfully. I am also grateful for some quality family conversation together yesterday between Sam, Darcy, and I. A common theme you will hear among people recovering from alcoholism and other addictions is "focus on the solution, not the problem." It's a good thought for anyone to consider and then actively apply. Continuing to give energy to a problem tends to only exacerbate it. But putting that energy toward a solution tends to help a person feel better and get better results. It has even been proven in my life and recovery as well that this holds true -- "focus on the solution and the problem goes away." For example: Maybe the way my husband did a household chore has me a little rankled, being the controlling sort I am. Not a serious problem, for sure, but it becomes a bigger problem if I keep thinking about it and get more frustrated. Then I become ungrateful to my husband and I...

Today I am grateful for feeling more energetic as I take a few pounds off and eat more mindfully. I am also grateful for a growing patience with the process of living life each day. Yesterday it was ingratitude. Today, it is in gratitude. I find myself back in a better frame of mind, back in a more mindful perspective. Gratitude and mindfulness go hand-in-hand. Some things fell in to place at work yesterday. A student I needed to see walked by our offices. A family I was waiting to see came in earlier rather than later. I was able to leave work when I wanted to, and my desk was even fairly clean. Last evening I was in gratitude for the enjoyment of making dinner with my son Sam. He helped cut up some vegetables while I was getting other things ready. We all agreed it was a satisfying and tasty meal. In gratitude that we take the time to eat as many meals together each week as we can. In gratitude for the chance to run outside and take to the trails and roads again. They are still...

Today I am grateful for the recovery wisdom I have been taught by others that I can draw from regularly. I am also grateful for the ease of electricity and simply flipping switches to light up the early morning hours. I used the word ingratitude the other day, and it came to my mind again last evening as I pondered today's post. It came to my mind because I was feeling it. It's been that kind of a week . . . nothing in particular, but I have slipped too quickly into old thought patterns of the "poor Lisa" variety. The ingratitude tends to hit when I am tired. I know this about myself and cut myself some slack. Ingratitude. Lacking appreciation. Ungrateful. Yep. That's how I felt. It didn't last though. The downward spiral never got going. The pity party had no guests. It was temporary and short-lived. Temporary and short-lived because years of gratitude practice have changed my default mode from self-pity to appreciating the life I get each day, from foc...

Today I am grateful for the few pounds I have taken off and how that translates into better runs and feeling better in my clothes. I am also grateful for the little things in life that remind me of the many blessings we each get each day. I ended up with a growing list of things I enjoyed yesterday. I happened to not be at work, which allowed for some opportunities I would have otherwise missed. I do enjoy many aspects of my job, but it does tend to be more stress-inducing than a day at home. Here are some of the things I made note of yesterday as pleasurable, satisfying, gratifying, delightful: -the taste of butter on warm toast, topped off with fried eggs -sitting in our recliners conversing with my husband Darcy -sweat running down my face during a good workout -refreshing cold water to drink after that workout -the satisfying feeling of pushing myself to run 5 miles at just over a 9-minute mile pace -Oliver, our dog, always being excited to see us when we arrive home -t...

Today I am grateful for moderating morning temperatures (a.k.a. above zero) and for working eyes and ears to keep our dog Oliver and I safe on our morning walks. I am also grateful for our local writing group that met last night, our facilitator, and the new people I got to meet last evening. Sharing the time and discussion was nice. The gratitude journal I currently use was a gift from my friend Dorothy. It is big enough to allow two years of use and I am in the second year. It is also full of daily quotes. One might strike me this time around that I missed last time. Or my current state of mind might help a certain line or phrase to ring truer in my heart. This gratitude journal gives me a place to leave my thoughts on gratitude, but it also gives me back in terms of the quotes in it. One recent quote was: "It is not how much we have, but how much we enjoy, that makes happiness." (Charles Haddon Spurgeon) So far today: *I enjoyed the walk with Oliver this mornin...

Today I am grateful for my job and how it pushes and stretches me. I am also grateful for my husband Darcy and the friendship we have within our marriage. Yesterday I posted about the effectiveness of gratitude practice, even in the face of my own ingratitude. I can't always explain how it works, I just know that it does. I believe that the thoughts we give energy to are the ones that gain a foothold in our minds, and from there our hearts and souls.I suspect gratitude practice works so well because it makes me pause in appreciation, it helps me realize the world isn't out to get me, it keeps the quagmire of self-pity at a safe distance. But I have never said and I never will say that gratitude prevents me from having difficulties or the tough emotions that flare up from time to time in even the healthiest of people. Gratitude practice doesn't make me immune to struggles or challenges, and I have had a few along the way. It sure helps me weather those challenges and str...

Today I am grateful for our new quesadilla maker and for phone conversations with my sister Aileen and my friend Sheila yesterday. Random thoughts about gratitude have been bouncing around in my head since a conversation I had with some other folks in recovery yesterday morning on this very topic. Let me just start by saying I wasn't feeling very grateful (or very friendly even) at the time. For no particular reason, though I suspect hormones were a factor, I was not a happy camper. As my friend Jill calls it, I was feeling "itchy-scratchy." Perpetual dissatisfaction also rang true. But I didn't skip writing in my gratitude journal. I didn't skip pausing to acknowledge that, even in spite of a nasty attitude, I could think of several reasons to be grateful. My friends and our conversation were a good start to returning me to a more peaceful state of mind. A nice 4-mile run, even if it had to be indoors, also helped a lot. The power of gratitude. Even when I ...

Today I am grateful for the brave bird I heard chirping out in the bitter cold this morning. A joylet for sure. I am also grateful for the way I am feeling after losing a few pounds. My husband Darcy and I are both doing well with our healthier eating and weight loss pursuits. The cleanse not only jump-started our metabolism, it jump-started our motivation. Being more aware of what we eat and how much we eat isn't only more mindful, it means we are being kind and gentle with ourselves. Our bodies and minds are feeling sharper, energized, more efficient. And our souls are being fed a buffet of gratitude. Gratitude for having each other for support. Gratitude for the local grocery and natural foods stores and the options they offer. Gratitude for money to buy healthier foods. Gratitude for time to prepare meals and dishes and enjoy them as a family. Gratitude for the ways this is rubbing off on our son Sam. Gratitude for the simple pleasure of the varied tastes and smells of food...

Today I am grateful for quality headphones and quality old rock music. I can go into my own little world for a little while. I am also grateful for clementines, a.k.a. cuties, and their sweetness and easy peeling. March has arrived. There is hope that this winter may start winding down and spring may start winding up. Next weekend we spring ahead for daylight savings time. The "official" start of spring is just weeks away. Even us hearty Upper Midwest folks are ready to be done with this winter. At least everybody I know and talk to. We had snow in to May last spring which was an oddity. Now, we have had three very cold months, plenty of snow, and records being broken left and right. Not fun records in my opinion. Bone-chilling records about the length and depth of cold that can happen in one winter season. Some records aren't meant to be broken. Doesn't Mother Nature know that? Apparently not. And I am choosing to ignore the reality that statistically speaking Ma...