40 Years of Survivorship

Living gratefully today, I appreciate some time outside this early morning and the gifts nature is presenting to me . . . sounds, smells, sights, the light touch of fresh air on skin.  I am also grateful to have woken up to a new day, even with some emotional heaviness I acknowledge the gift that this day is.

As I think of my sister Mary Jo and the dying process, it heightens my awareness of the living process. Mary Jo is delving directly into the mysteries of death. I wish for her comfort and peace to replace the pain and fear.

Her illness has given me reason to delve further into these mysteries of death myself, but from a much different perspective. Still, as a cancer patient myself, I have considered my mortality in ways I never would have if not for a diagnosis of breast cancer. Even as Mary Jo slips away, I still take my health for granted some of the time.

I realized the other day, as I considered the years of cancer survivorship that my three sisters and I have between us, that it is over forty years.  Zita has 15 years now, Mary Jo nearly 13 years, I have 11 years, and Leonice has two years.

Pausing as I considered this, it gave me some real perspective. What has transpired in those years for me, for them? What blessings, gifts, lessons, struggles, milestones have we each encountered and been able to embrace? What have we learned from others and from life? What have we learned from ourselves as we have lived with cancer and all that comes with it?

I can't speak for my sisters, but I can tell you that I have lived richly and deeply in expansive ways these last 11 years. Not always easy, not always smooth, but fully experiencing it all. I have come to know gratefulness in such meaningful ways.

We don't know how many more hours, days or years will add up, but we can't discount what we have already gotten. Four sisters with cancer, over 40 years of survivorship. Love, grace, and gratitude have this day.

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