Codependence
Today I am grateful for healthy detachment and for traditions like ice cream on the 4th of July.
Yesterday's topic included independence and interdependence. Today's comes from a different angle-codependence and dependence. Codependence and dependence lead to a loss of independence, but it is more complex than that.
Melody Beattie, a well-known author on codependence and recovery from it, defines a codependent person as one who has let another person's behavior affect him or her, and who is obsessed with controlling that person's behavior. A couple other aspects to this definition that bear mentioning are people-pleasing to the extent that self-care is forgotten or severely minimized, and someone staying in a destructive/unhealthy relationship out of fear of being alone or being deemed unworthy.
Complex indeed. We all probably toy with codependence some. And we all probably know others who are way beyond toying with it and are engulfed by it. It can be a hard thing to witness. It can be a hard pattern to break if you are the one in it.
I try to remember healthy boundaries, healthy detachment, and detaching with love. I try to support others in their efforts along these lines as well. Alcoholism, addiction, family dysfunction, and generations of unhealthy patterns and behaviors can be formidable. It takes patience, faith, facing fear, self-care, and much more to move out of the bonds of codependence and dependence.
Maybe it is you who needs to start breaking the pattern today. Maybe it is someone you care about.
Staying present and being grateful in the moment can help take the next steps, can help us support one another in the right ways. Getting too far ahead becomes defeating and overwhelming because the problem seems impossible. One boundary at a time, one healthy choice at a time, change can happen.
Wishing you the best in your efforts. Consider the gratitude that comes with hope and opportunities to change. Just for today.
Yesterday's topic included independence and interdependence. Today's comes from a different angle-codependence and dependence. Codependence and dependence lead to a loss of independence, but it is more complex than that.
Melody Beattie, a well-known author on codependence and recovery from it, defines a codependent person as one who has let another person's behavior affect him or her, and who is obsessed with controlling that person's behavior. A couple other aspects to this definition that bear mentioning are people-pleasing to the extent that self-care is forgotten or severely minimized, and someone staying in a destructive/unhealthy relationship out of fear of being alone or being deemed unworthy.
Complex indeed. We all probably toy with codependence some. And we all probably know others who are way beyond toying with it and are engulfed by it. It can be a hard thing to witness. It can be a hard pattern to break if you are the one in it.
I try to remember healthy boundaries, healthy detachment, and detaching with love. I try to support others in their efforts along these lines as well. Alcoholism, addiction, family dysfunction, and generations of unhealthy patterns and behaviors can be formidable. It takes patience, faith, facing fear, self-care, and much more to move out of the bonds of codependence and dependence.
Maybe it is you who needs to start breaking the pattern today. Maybe it is someone you care about.
Staying present and being grateful in the moment can help take the next steps, can help us support one another in the right ways. Getting too far ahead becomes defeating and overwhelming because the problem seems impossible. One boundary at a time, one healthy choice at a time, change can happen.
Wishing you the best in your efforts. Consider the gratitude that comes with hope and opportunities to change. Just for today.
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