"In daily life we must see that it is not happiness that makes us grateful, but gratefulness that makes us happy." Brother David Steindl-Rast

Sunday, January 22, 2017

Kibosh

Today I am grateful for forgiveness-from others and myself. I am also grateful for the few pounds I have taken off in recent weeks after adding them post-marathon, and Darcy's support and similar efforts along these lines.

I return to my Z-A gratitude list today with the fun word KIBOSH. Stop. End. Put the kibosh on it. Actually, scholars are unsure of the true origin of the word, though known use of it dates back to the 1830's.

Put the kibosh on self-pity. That is what gratitude practice allows me to do to my former default mode.

Putting the kibosh on drinking starts by "putting the plug in the jug," but for people like me requires much more than the absence of alcohol.

This week I had my annual check-up with my oncologist. We discussed some leg muscle pain I have been having on and off and agreed that I would put the kibosh on taking the medication I have taken for 8 years. The kibosh may not last, but it will be on for at least a month, to see if I notice any changes.

Tamoxifen is drug designed to put the kibosh on roaming cancer cells that like estrogen. It is meant for women like me who had estrogen-positive cancer, and it can also be taken prophylactically for those at high risk. I am grateful for this medication and the the proven record it has. I have mixed feelings about putting the kibosh on taking it, but appreciate that I have tolerated it well for 8 years.

It has helped me put the kibosh on the fear that can rise concerning a recurrence or metastasis of cancer. Faith and mindful gratitude are good ways to calm that fear as well.

What do you need to put the kibosh on today?  Start small if needed. Onward!

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