"In daily life we must see that it is not happiness that makes us grateful, but gratefulness that makes us happy." Brother David Steindl-Rast

Friday, June 16, 2017

Stopped In My Tracks

Today I am grateful for the soothing sound of running water and for bagels and peanut butter. I am
also grateful when clarity of thoughts and feelings come through.

The other day I was enjoying a slower pace to my morning. Most weekday mornings during the year, I would be well into my workday by 8:30 a.m.  The other day I was just heading out for a run.

I had a certain route I was on, mostly because I was on an errand to take a picture for my other blog Late Bloomer and Slow Learner. As I neared the bridge I wanted to capture a photo of, I was stopped short in my tracks by a train stopped on the railroad tracks. This stretch of track is a short line and rarely has traffic that interferes with our running, biking, or walking.

I took a look at the situation and determined I would be better off taking a detour rather than waiting. First, though, I clicked a couple pictures and started composing a blog post in my head. It wasn't until some time later that I realized what had happened. Duh! Sometimes I have to have things pretty much thrown in my face to notice them.

I was composing the post, thinking how the pictures I had taken would be a nice touch, and how pictures always seem to get more people to look at my blog posts. Then the zinger came through. That very morning, I had written a post titled Swerving and had commended myself for making progress in pausing and tuning into my breath when I needed to slow down during my day.

The Great Spirit in my life gave me a great opportunity to do just that on my run; pause and take some mindful breaths.

Instead, I took pictures, started some thoughts in my head for a post, and danced around a little before taking off on my detour. I lost the moment. I lost the stillness in surrendering and accepting. Granted, I was feeling pretty good anyway; out on a run, hours ahead of me in my day that could be flexible. But I still got caught up in the busyness, in the next task, in the constant stream of ideas and images that fill my head, sometimes to my detriment.

So this post is a confession. A coming clean. A plea for self-forgiveness. An effort to try easier. The pictures I took of the train are still on my phone, but you won't see them here. The post that came out in these paragraphs isn't the one I started in my head the other day, but it is the one meant to be written.

Stopped in my tracks, first by a train, then by a gentle nudge from my Higher Power. Lighten up and slow down Lisa! Some moments of the day should be filled with nothing but a pause.

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