Episodic Anger
Today I am grateful for all the health care workers who are helping in many different capacities at this time. I am also grateful for governors, mayors, and others at the state and local level who are working so hard for the citizens they represent.
"Hello darkness my old friend, I've come to talk with you again . . ." And write about you.
I am grateful for the range of emotions I am feeling. It is some begrudging gratitude today, but the feelings remind me I am alive. Anger is bubbling, as it has from time to time over the last weeks. Overall, I have felt resilience and shown compassion for self and others.
Episodic anger comes and goes though too. A normal and healthy emotion in this unsettling and often untethered time. Am I handling it reasonably and gently? Not always.
Episodic: occurring, appearing, or changing at usually irregular intervals : OCCASIONAL.
Recent episodes have included:
*Anger at these circumstances that have heavily altered our day-to-day lives.
*Anger and disappointment that my son Sam and so many others are losing out on so much in the last months of senior year.
*Anger at dynamics regarding my job that are just exacerbated by the change to our typical work places and routines.
*Anger at those who can drink with impunity. Anger that my current recovery connections, though very helpful, are not the ones I am used to and need. Social distancing is difficult for us all, and in especially challenging ways for recovering alcoholics and addicts.
*Anger at powerlessness and unmanageables that we are facing together and separately.
*Anger at the choices of others that I perceive to be reckless, or at the least irresponsible.
*Anger at the disease of cancer. A year ago it was killing my sister Mary Jo. It has taken far more from my family and I than any family should have to face.
*Anger that doesn't have a particular source...just an undercurrent. This is taking a toll on us all.
My anger doesn't always look, sound, or feel like anger. I am grateful to name it and claim it here. I didn't internalize or externalize it for as long as I sometimes do. The release was palpable, the gratitude deep for the trusted persons consulted--including myself.
I hope you are able to name and claim your anger and other unwelcome emotional guests that these unprecedented times are bringing to our hearts, minds, and souls.
"Hello darkness my old friend, I've come to talk with you again . . ." And write about you.
I am grateful for the range of emotions I am feeling. It is some begrudging gratitude today, but the feelings remind me I am alive. Anger is bubbling, as it has from time to time over the last weeks. Overall, I have felt resilience and shown compassion for self and others.
Episodic anger comes and goes though too. A normal and healthy emotion in this unsettling and often untethered time. Am I handling it reasonably and gently? Not always.
Episodic: occurring, appearing, or changing at usually irregular intervals : OCCASIONAL.
Recent episodes have included:
*Anger at these circumstances that have heavily altered our day-to-day lives.
*Anger and disappointment that my son Sam and so many others are losing out on so much in the last months of senior year.
*Anger at dynamics regarding my job that are just exacerbated by the change to our typical work places and routines.
*Anger at those who can drink with impunity. Anger that my current recovery connections, though very helpful, are not the ones I am used to and need. Social distancing is difficult for us all, and in especially challenging ways for recovering alcoholics and addicts.
*Anger at powerlessness and unmanageables that we are facing together and separately.
*Anger at the choices of others that I perceive to be reckless, or at the least irresponsible.
*Anger at the disease of cancer. A year ago it was killing my sister Mary Jo. It has taken far more from my family and I than any family should have to face.
*Anger that doesn't have a particular source...just an undercurrent. This is taking a toll on us all.
My anger doesn't always look, sound, or feel like anger. I am grateful to name it and claim it here. I didn't internalize or externalize it for as long as I sometimes do. The release was palpable, the gratitude deep for the trusted persons consulted--including myself.
I hope you are able to name and claim your anger and other unwelcome emotional guests that these unprecedented times are bringing to our hearts, minds, and souls.
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