"In daily life we must see that it is not happiness that makes us grateful, but gratefulness that makes us happy." Brother David Steindl-Rast

Tuesday, November 29, 2016

Feeding the Right Fire

Today I am grateful for the soft glow of Christmas tree lights and for our dog Oliver and the predictable ways he has.

Though I regularly practice and write about gratitude, there are days and moments when I am tired and discouraged and I wonder if it all matters. "It" being lots of things like my writing pursuits, gratitude practice, daily work on recovery from alcoholism. It's part of being human and for me it is usually short-lived. I believe it is important to acknowledge these lows and call them out. That seems to help them subside rather than deepen.

On a recent run, or moving meditation as it is for me as well, I threw out a question in my head, hoping for a little clarity. It came in the form of this line--keep feeding the right fire Lisa.

Feeding the right fire is to keep running and writing, to keep practicing gratitude and recovery, to love those nearest and dearest to me to the best of my ability. Stoking the flames of this fire warms my heart and soul.

When I am busy feeding the right fire, I am not as tempted to add fresh fuel to the heavy and jagged logs of the fire of my past. The fire of active drinking and daily self-deprecation. The fire of "less than and never good enough."  That fire is just waiting for the right spark to start itself again and I won't give it the satisfaction.

I will keep feeding the right fire, even when I am a little or a lot tired and discouraged. The right fire throws off the right light to help me find my way back to more energy and optimism.

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