15. Children and pets are great teachers.

Today I am grateful for the rest I got last evening, and for the rest that comes with a quieter mind.

Point of Clarity #15. Children and pets are great teachers.

Sam was 6 years old and just finishing kindergarten when I was diagnosed with BC. We talked with him about what we felt he could understand and what it was important for him to hear, age appropriately. Mostly, we tried to keep a sense of normalcy for our family, but we also were realistic and wanted Sam and my stepchildren Arthur and Emily to know enough about what was going on.

I would recommend this approach to anyone else faced with a frightening health issue. I believe it is far better to share true emotions and enough information to show our humanness and to squelch some of the fear and worry young children will generate in their own minds when we aren't offering comfort and security.

Sam saw me go to work, go out for a run, make dinner, do the laundry. He and I still played catch. Things I always did. And he also saw me sick from chemo, weak from anesthesia effects post-surgery, and bald. I know he had fears. He was old enough to know that cancer was a bad thing. We had some poignant moments and he showed such tenderness at times. My heart swells and tears rise as I recall these moments.

We made it through and Sam, Arthur, and Emily helped because they gave me a focus and a break away from my own thoughts and fears. There were school events and games to attend, homework to help with, dishes to clean, clothes to fold, books to be read, hugs to be given.

The summer of 2008, in the thick of all things cancer, we also brought another great teacher into our lives. His name is Oliver and he's our cockapoo. We got him as a puppy in early July and he was another really good distraction for us all. I sum it up this way "My post-cancer self and Oliver grew up together." He got potty-trained and I got used to no hair. He stopped chewing things and I started writing more.

Children and pets teach us to be right here, right now. They remind us to laugh and play. These are helpful at any time, and especially at difficult times.

Mary Jo's two daughters were in their teens when she was first diagnosed. They now have seven children between them. I know that those 7 grandchildren were always a great source of joy for Mary Jo, and especially so in the last couple of years as the seriousness of her illness sank in.  Knowing she wouldn't see them grow into adulthood was one of the greatest sadnesses she expressed. She wouldn't have traded any of the time she did get with them. It was just cut far too short.

Hug your kids and grandkids the next chance you get. Give a squeeze or a pat to your favorite pet. Thank them for helping us all keep our priorities straight.

Comments