Cluttered, Then a Cleared Cornfield
Living gratefully today, I appreciate my sense of hearing and favorite, meaningful songs I can hear. I am also fully appreciating the smoothness of this morning's first cup of coffee, coffee and conversation with a friend after work, and the enjoyment of a meal together with Darcy and Sam last evening.
Yesterday morning I was feeling cluttered... in thought and action. Heading out the door feeling rushed, cutting it too close to get to a meeting. I do this to myself too many mornings. Trying to do too much, just one more little task. Overdoing. Traffic seemed surprisingly cluttered for that early. Stoplights were working against me. I was working against me.
My emotions were fragile. There was some ongoing grief, and also the muck and mire of this midlife and menopausal morass I continue to work through. A few minutes of meditation soon after I got up eventually came to fruition as I drove to work. Release. I felt the feelings. First the tougher ones, then the gentler ones.
Doing the work yields results. Keep on keeping on.
I proceeded into my day and felt less cluttered. Going for a run later in the day, my favorite stretch of trail took me past a cornfield now cleared of stalks. The landscape has changed significantly in recent weeks as plants have died back, leaves have fallen, corn has been harvested. Much like my emotional landscape continues to evolve and transform through the seasons of my life.
At one point, I got a clear whiff of corn, a smell that took me back to my childhood on the farm. A little further down the trail, I encountered five deer, frightened by me and running for cover. One even slipped on the paved trail and almost hit a tree.
I could relate to that deer. Doing too much. Thinking too much. Not feeling enough. These can all leave me full of fear and running for cover in a different way.
I am grateful the morning clutter cleared, and I am grateful the deer and I all ended up safe. I can't speak for their peace and comfort, but I can vouch for mine.
Yesterday morning I was feeling cluttered... in thought and action. Heading out the door feeling rushed, cutting it too close to get to a meeting. I do this to myself too many mornings. Trying to do too much, just one more little task. Overdoing. Traffic seemed surprisingly cluttered for that early. Stoplights were working against me. I was working against me.
My emotions were fragile. There was some ongoing grief, and also the muck and mire of this midlife and menopausal morass I continue to work through. A few minutes of meditation soon after I got up eventually came to fruition as I drove to work. Release. I felt the feelings. First the tougher ones, then the gentler ones.
Doing the work yields results. Keep on keeping on.
I proceeded into my day and felt less cluttered. Going for a run later in the day, my favorite stretch of trail took me past a cornfield now cleared of stalks. The landscape has changed significantly in recent weeks as plants have died back, leaves have fallen, corn has been harvested. Much like my emotional landscape continues to evolve and transform through the seasons of my life.
At one point, I got a clear whiff of corn, a smell that took me back to my childhood on the farm. A little further down the trail, I encountered five deer, frightened by me and running for cover. One even slipped on the paved trail and almost hit a tree.
I could relate to that deer. Doing too much. Thinking too much. Not feeling enough. These can all leave me full of fear and running for cover in a different way.
I am grateful the morning clutter cleared, and I am grateful the deer and I all ended up safe. I can't speak for their peace and comfort, but I can vouch for mine.
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