Stop Pretending
Today I am grateful for reminders of both my humanness and my worthiness. Recognizing both in myself helps me recognize it in others.
"Life unarmed" is one of Glennon Melton's catch phrases, and it's a good one. It seems that we get so caught up in worrying about what other people think and/or trying to fit some unattainable ideal. We just need to be busy living our lives fully human. That's what Melton is getting at. If we unarm, then others unarm, and we can have genuine discussions about what really matters and we can come together instead of feeling more and more apart.
Consider these words from Carry On, Warrior:
"Because you have listened to and spoken to enough honest parents to understand we're all in this together. And that there is no prize for most composed. So you've decided to stop making parenthood harder by pretending it's not hard." (p. 131)
Now that's what I call truth-telling. We do this dance with parenting, but we do it with many other things as well. Unarm. Disarm. Take off the shield. Then we realize that other people feel exactly like we do. None of us feels as alone. None of us feels as judged.
I have had the privilege of having many conversations with many parents during my 25 years working in the education field, and especially in the last 15 years in my role as a school counselor.Those conversations have been such good teachers, such eye-openers. Some have been exhausting. Others have been exhilirating. Some started out tough and got easier. Some started out easy and got tougher. But in every instance, I can tell you I was speaking to a parent who loved their child and was trying to do their best. When we hear each other, really listen, then the shields peel away. It doesn't mean that we have to agree on everything, but it tends to lead to a much more productive conversation.
Becoming first a steppaprent, then a mom myself, has been by far the toughest learning curve. I have to forgive myself pretty much daily for messing up in one way or another.My son hears daily that I love him. He sees me acting all human, and at the end of the day, he still knows he means the world to me.
Thank you Glennon Doyle Melton for such thought-provoking words.
Parenting is real hard. It's work. It's exhausting. Consider going unarmed today and sharing your stories with another parent. You'll both feel less alone.
"Life unarmed" is one of Glennon Melton's catch phrases, and it's a good one. It seems that we get so caught up in worrying about what other people think and/or trying to fit some unattainable ideal. We just need to be busy living our lives fully human. That's what Melton is getting at. If we unarm, then others unarm, and we can have genuine discussions about what really matters and we can come together instead of feeling more and more apart.
Consider these words from Carry On, Warrior:
"Because you have listened to and spoken to enough honest parents to understand we're all in this together. And that there is no prize for most composed. So you've decided to stop making parenthood harder by pretending it's not hard." (p. 131)
Now that's what I call truth-telling. We do this dance with parenting, but we do it with many other things as well. Unarm. Disarm. Take off the shield. Then we realize that other people feel exactly like we do. None of us feels as alone. None of us feels as judged.
I have had the privilege of having many conversations with many parents during my 25 years working in the education field, and especially in the last 15 years in my role as a school counselor.Those conversations have been such good teachers, such eye-openers. Some have been exhausting. Others have been exhilirating. Some started out tough and got easier. Some started out easy and got tougher. But in every instance, I can tell you I was speaking to a parent who loved their child and was trying to do their best. When we hear each other, really listen, then the shields peel away. It doesn't mean that we have to agree on everything, but it tends to lead to a much more productive conversation.
Becoming first a steppaprent, then a mom myself, has been by far the toughest learning curve. I have to forgive myself pretty much daily for messing up in one way or another.My son hears daily that I love him. He sees me acting all human, and at the end of the day, he still knows he means the world to me.
Thank you Glennon Doyle Melton for such thought-provoking words.
Parenting is real hard. It's work. It's exhausting. Consider going unarmed today and sharing your stories with another parent. You'll both feel less alone.
Comments
Post a Comment