Dominica Ruta's With or Without You
Today I am grateful for my family and friends and the many ways they support and encourage me. I am also grateful for ears to hear with and eyes to read with.
Domenica Ruta's memoir With or Without You (copyright 2013) has been described as "haunting, unforgettable, darkly hilarious, compulsively readable, and redemptive." It's not a lighthearted read for sure. But it doesn't disappoint. The range of emotions and Ruta's style pulled me in.
When you live with a mother who is an addict and associates with other addicts, you will see bad things and you will more than likely have bad things happen to you. You will not make it out unscathed. The key though is that Ruta made it out. That is what saved her.
Here are a few lines from her book:
Describing her mother:
"But volume was never an accurate herald of my mother's mood; loud was simply the who and the what of her." "What else do you need to know about this woman before I go on with the story? That she believed it was more important to be an interesting person than a good one . . . that she made me responsible for most of my own meals when I was seven and all the laundry in the house when I was nine . . . " (all from p. 5)
Describing her own addiction:
"One day, gorgeous as usual, I'm walking to the store and two short sentences pass through my head: I'm an alcoholic. I need help. I have no idea where these thoughts come from, nor do I really understand what they mean, but I know that they're true." (p. 168)
"I set up all these goals--I'm only going to drink until Thanksgiving, then I'll stop. Christmas comes and goes and I've been in a blackout for days. But that was the last time, I promise myself.No more.I keep drinking to the end of the year and the beginning of a new one." (p. 171)
I want to thank Domenica Ruta for sharing her story through her masterful use of words. I went from near tears at times (that is usually as close as I get) to laughing at other times. Her characters were real people and I could almost feel them in the room. Cliche as it is, I could feel her pain.
I am saving a few more of my favorite lines from the book for tomorrow.
Domenica Ruta's memoir With or Without You (copyright 2013) has been described as "haunting, unforgettable, darkly hilarious, compulsively readable, and redemptive." It's not a lighthearted read for sure. But it doesn't disappoint. The range of emotions and Ruta's style pulled me in.
When you live with a mother who is an addict and associates with other addicts, you will see bad things and you will more than likely have bad things happen to you. You will not make it out unscathed. The key though is that Ruta made it out. That is what saved her.
Here are a few lines from her book:
Describing her mother:
"But volume was never an accurate herald of my mother's mood; loud was simply the who and the what of her." "What else do you need to know about this woman before I go on with the story? That she believed it was more important to be an interesting person than a good one . . . that she made me responsible for most of my own meals when I was seven and all the laundry in the house when I was nine . . . " (all from p. 5)
Describing her own addiction:
"One day, gorgeous as usual, I'm walking to the store and two short sentences pass through my head: I'm an alcoholic. I need help. I have no idea where these thoughts come from, nor do I really understand what they mean, but I know that they're true." (p. 168)
"I set up all these goals--I'm only going to drink until Thanksgiving, then I'll stop. Christmas comes and goes and I've been in a blackout for days. But that was the last time, I promise myself.No more.I keep drinking to the end of the year and the beginning of a new one." (p. 171)
I want to thank Domenica Ruta for sharing her story through her masterful use of words. I went from near tears at times (that is usually as close as I get) to laughing at other times. Her characters were real people and I could almost feel them in the room. Cliche as it is, I could feel her pain.
I am saving a few more of my favorite lines from the book for tomorrow.
I read and enjoyed Ruta's memoir too. Having been raised in a houseful of addicts at varying stages of their disease, I could relate in a big way. Reading her darkly funny story helped me feel more normal.
ReplyDeleteThanks for commenting Sheryl! I am glad to hear Ruta's book touched you as well. What a gift to know we are not as alone as we feel at times. I also appreciate that your work includes overall wellness, and that your grandfather invented the burpee. I actually "like" that exercise. Onward!
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