Habitual Gratitude

Today I am grateful for the music of Seals and Crofts, particularly "We May Never Pass This Way Again" as I listen to it this morning.   Muster. I have written hundreds of posts here, but I am pretty sure I have never written about this word.  The English language, any language, is an amazing thing to behold. So many words, so many meanings. Muster has multiple definitions. Bringing troops or other people together in preparation. Gather together. Collect or assemble. Or the little known reference to a group of peacocks.  (from FreeImages.com) But the definition I am going for today is this one: to summon up a particular feeling, attitude, or response. It's a Friday of another busy week. Can I muster energy to approach the day ahead?  It's a trying time for our world in the midst of COVID-19 surges. It's an unsettled time in my country as we near a crucial election day. Can I muster hope to keep me moving forward? Can I be a contributor and not a contaminator?  Can

Today I am grateful for the many pictures displayed in our home that help capture the rich blessings in our lives.  In my efforts to take more pauses in my day, I sometimes walk into a room and intentionally stop, look around, and consider the things in that room that bring gratefulness to my heart. I often type my blog posts sitting in our family room at our computer desk. In front of me is a framed picture of a butterfly that my aunt sent me and that was displayed at my sister Mary Jo's memorial.  Butterflies symbolize transition, change, rebirth, new beginnings.  If I look to my left, there are a couple pictures of our dog Oliver from his younger days. To my right, I see family pictures that span the time of our son Sam as a little boy to our grandsons as toddlers. Behind me are pictures ranging from my parent's wedding photo from 1950, Darcy and I from 1998, and our grandsons as newborns.  In another spot, our most recent marathon medals hang near pictures of Darcy and I on

Living gratefully today, I noticed the stars in the early morning sky and paused in awe. Sunday’s post about the knife-edge of uncertainty and downward spirals is today's potential to spiral upward. These words are from one of my favorite writers on gratefulness on one of my favorite websites on the topic as well:  Word for the Day 10/25/20 from www.gratefulness.org : "In each of us there is a spark that can reverse the trends of violence and depression spiraling  within us and in the world around us. By setting in motion the spiral of gratefulness we begin the journey toward peace and joy."   Brother David Steindl-Rast Even on tough days, when the gratitude is maybe a trickle and certainly not flowing strong, I think I can still manage a spark.  Smiles and greetings are sparks. Pauses and silence can spark. A helping hand makes a difference. A little self-care can go a long way. Even one step up in an upward spiral can change our perspective and renew our hope.  What wil

Living gratefully today, I say thank you to my husband Darcy for the many ways he supports me and cares for me.  I have been on tens of thousands of runs over the years, but can honestly say that none have ever been "just a run." Each run clears my head and lets some new creativity show itself. It keeps my muscles and my digestive tract working. It allows for time to myself and out in nature. It does my heart good in the physical sense and so much more.  As I took a couple of runs over the weekend, it hit me just how much more a run is for me when I make it part of my day. Even with no marathons to train for anymore. Even though our local Thanksgiving Day race will not be held. Even though cold weather is already here and will be here plenty over the next months.  Each run is an exercise in living gratefully, stride for stride, breath by breath, inspired thoughts and deep connections with the world around me. Here are some examples of more than "just a run" that I t

Today I am grateful for the smell of coffee--both before and after it is brewed. I am also grateful for the smells of fall. The air has been colder than average lately, but the crisp aromas of autumn come through. Here's a recent quote that rings so true right now:                   "It's that knife-edge of uncertainty where we come alive to our truest power."                                                                                                    (Joanna Macy) We have been living on a sharp edge of uncertainty for months now. Some days the uncertainty is dulled by a sense of normalcy that would have seemed nothing like normal until mid-March of this year. On other days, we wait, almost with bated breath, for another bottom to fall out, for the latest curve ball to be thrown.  It's a dangerous place to be, this precipice with jagged rocks below. Or is it where we always reside, and we just didn't realize it until a global pandemic came along to remin

Today I am grateful for heartfelt memories and fresh tears on this Friday morning, October 23.  October 23 was a Friday in 1998 too. It was the day my dad died, and the memory remains vivid.  My husband Darcy and I were with our son Sam last weekend, and he shared with us a reflection paper he had written for one of his classes. In the paper, he mentioned his Grandpa and the tractor Dad is on in this picture: (I am not sure the year this picture is from, but it is likely in the 1980's.) Sam never met my dad. That has always brought sadness to my heart. They would have enjoyed one another's company. Sam's written words reminded me that they do have connections. Many connections really. One is that they both drove this same tractor, a John Deere 4020, bought new in 1967.  It is the same tractor pictured in my recent post  here .  They sat in the same seat, felt the same engine, turned the same steering wheel. And I know they both shared the joy of fresh air and farm land stre

Today I am grateful for the helpful snow shovels we have, and for continuing growth and clarity in my thoughts and actions. Growth and clarity are pretty much the opposite of "can't see the forest for the trees." Getting stuck on the details and not seeing the big picture becomes counterproductive the longer it continues. Stuck. Complacent. Limited. Narrow-minded. Rote. Rigid.  Doesn't sound like much fun does it? Stepping back and getting a wider perspective can help me get unstuck. Or at least see more clearly what the next right thing to do is. Maybe the trees I was so focused on click like puzzle pieces into the big picture. Or maybe there needs to be some controlled burning and a shift to a different part of the forest. Important work in life takes place in the trees. Am I lost today, or on an open path?  As I write about controlled burns, I can't help but think of the wildfires burning in Colorado and elsewhere. The destruction and loss. Those working endles

Today I am grateful for raspberries, oranges, and bananas. I am grateful to all who made it possible for me to enjoy these fruits.  Life is full of "what ifs." Especially in the middle of a global pandemic and as our nation nears a pivotal election. It doesn't really matter what is going on personally and in our communities, each day brings many "what ifs." Within these unanswerable ponderings we can find perspective and gratefulness. We will also likely find a range of emotions. Let us remember that it is within this range of emotions, from deep sorrow to lighthearted joy, that our humanness most fully resides.  Some of the what ifs rolling around in my head lately are: *What if cancer hadn't taken my breasts, my sister's life, and so much more?  *What if Sam's football season hadn't been impacted by COVID-19?  *What if the pandemic hadn't happened? *What if a long-time dream comes true? There is one "what if" that I can answer tho

Living gratefully today, I appreciate conversations with loved ones and my favorite sweatshirts.  My word for the year--stillness--goes off the radar for awhile and then I get a reminder and am compelled to write about it. It is becoming more apparent to me just how many different ways stillness can be embodied. Quiet. Calm. Lack of movement or thoughts. Peaceful. The moment between. Nature. No wind. The stillness I often find most helpful, but also most elusive, is the quiet that comes with a closed mouth and a halted train of thought. My trains of thought, when I get spun-up about something or someone, don't tend to be productive. They don't tend to lead me to healthy places.  Be still Lisa. Be still and listen. Not to my own voice, but rather the voice of silence, the voice of Great Spirit. Simple, but not easy. Sometimes I need to tell myself to "shut up!" (edited version).  Returning to stillness, I find clarity. Clarity for the next moments and actions. That is

Living gratefully today, I appreciate hats and gloves to keep me warm in the colder morning air. Every year from 2004 until 2019 a key focus to my running was training for a marathon, sometimes two. It was also a common goal for my husband Darcy for most of those years. After completing my 17th marathon last September, the Sioux Falls Marathon, I considered that it may be my last. It was a hard run both physically and emotionally.  Some worsening hip pain a couple months later and a visit to an orthopedic specialist sealed the deal. My marathon days were done. My running days, I hope, are far from over though. Physical therapy and ongoing diligence to do my targeted exercises have allowed me to run comfortably, though shorter distances and 3-4 times a week now.  October is usually marathon season. I ran nine of my seventeen marathons this month. I miss the training and the mindset. I miss the anticipation and the satisfaction, the amazing feeling of crossing a finish line 26.2 miles af

Today I am grateful for rain and for almond milk to smooth out my coffee. We are seven months into the COVID-19 pandemic. How about a fill-in-the-blank? Pandemic _______________ I first think of a couple of "f" words. (Neither is THAT "f" word, but I have certainly said and felt WTF? quite a few times since this all started.) I am referring to fear and fatigue.   Fear and anxiety may not be as consistently intense as they were earlier on, but they persist.  Fear motivates me to stay safe and to be socially responsible. And to also take care of myself so that my immune system isn't compromised and vulnerable. Faith also helps me keep perspective and send good energy to the people for whom I am most concerned.  This ongoing fear is certainly a factor in the pandemic fatigue I am experiencing. Other factors are the usual day-to-day experiences that have the added layers, literally and figuratively, of things like masks. I am grateful for my job and how the school

Living gratefully today, I acknowledge my current good fortune to be NED (no evidence of disease) in terms of cancer in my body.  I humbly accept the gift of today. Today is Metastatic Breast Cancer Awareness Day. In the middle of Breast Cancer Awareness Month, awash in pink and lots of products to purchase, a day is given to the deadly advanced disease and the toll it takes. It doesn’t seem like much, or nearly enough. But it is something. MBC remains misunderstood and underrepresented in the dollars and research needed. And it remains the disease that killed my sister Mary Jo almost 16 months ago. Here’s my ABC on MBC:  ACHE The ache of grief and sorrow as I look back on Mary Jo’s path in life once a diagnosis of metastatic breast cancer was confirmed. Several attempts at treatment. Side effects from that, but more glaringly the pain and devastation, physical and beyond, caused as the disease advanced to various parts of her body. The ache of all she left behind.  BRAVE How very bra

Today I am grateful for safe travels, wonderful weather, and precious time with loved ones this weekend.  My husband Darcy and I visited my family in NE Iowa. I sure appreciated the siblings, in-laws, nieces, and others we got to visit with. We were outside a lot, and keenly aware of how the COVID pandemic has changed things.   I did a porch visit with my mom too, and it was good to be near her. I can't speak for her, but I felt peace sitting there with her, plastic and screen and all. It seemed to me that she was having a peaceful day too. That is what I pray for when I pray for Mom--her peace and comfort.  The weather and the scenery were spectacular! I love the farm in the fall. I love the rolling hills of home year-round, but especially now. Here is a picture I captured on Saturday morning:  This was a new view for me, with both shed doors open and the colorful hillside in the distance. This place is special in my heart, and this new perspective helped me feel that in different

Today I am grateful for good burgers and weather conducive to outdoor eating. I also appreciate that it is Friday and that the work week has been productive and not too overwhelming.  Great Spirit showed up for me yesterday morning, just to make sure I was paying attention. That’s what my concept of God tends to be about... me getting a few of the many guiding messages sent my way throughout the day. Don't get me wrong. I know my Higher Power is always there, and it is me who needs to show up.  On the days I forget to show up, I am too busy in my head or embroiled in some ego flare-up that wants to make some situation all about me. One of the many benefits of practicing gratitude is that it helps me show up more often to life, to the moment I am in.  Yesterday, I had just written about acceptance in a couple messages to others. Acceptance is always needed but not always found, for a variety of reasons. (See paragraph above.) Then I started out on my commute to work, heading to an e

Living gratefully today, I am savoring some of my favorite songs and the connections they give me to my younger days. I grew up listening to the radio and to albums, 8-tracks, and cassettes. Music took me inside the emerging person I was. It also brought me outside myself when I needed a healthier outlet than my thinking and drinking.  Last Tuesday it was both Helen Reddy and Mac Davis dying at age 78.  This Tuesday, it was Eddie Van Halen dying at 65 and Johnny Nash dying at 80. I was belting out "I Am Woman" and "Baby Don't Get Hooked on Me" last week.  Yesterday, it was some of my favorite Van Halen songs, several of which go back to their 1978 self-titled debut album.  Eddie Van Halen was the band's lead guitarist, but he was also quite a songwriter. I have always liked "Jamie's Crying" and "Running with the Devil" from that first album. But the one song that most hits home with me in all of these passings is Johnny Nash's &qu

Today I am grateful for family time, fresh air, and fall colors.  On my early morning run yesterday, I stepped out into a frosty and foggy morning. It didn’t take long after the sun came up for the frost to melt away and the low-lying fog to lift. If only the frosty divisiveness of my nation’s political landscape could melt away so easily. If only my brain fog, a complication of COVID and menopausal times, could lift so quickly. As I ran near a parking lot, I also noticed some litter. It was clear evidence of partying and partiers in the area. My mind went to frosty beers and foggy hangovers. It went to the litter left behind by the disease of alcoholism.  Alcoholism clutters the heart, soul, and mind of the afflicted. It drops debris in the way of connections and relationships with family and friends. Alcoholism leaves behind foul odors and rotting hopes and dreams.  The litter of unlimited libations. Garbage in, garbage out. Along comes sunshine to melt the frosty heart, time to brin

Today I am grateful for movement for my muscles and silence for my soul.  I took a look back at previous posts I had written on this date and came across this one from 2014:   Look! October 02, 2014 Today I am grateful for the fall colors we are enjoying and for warmer clothes in my closet. As I read Melody Beattie's words today in Journey to the Heart, these struck me: "Look! See how much you've changed. See the difference in your perspective."  I may not be feeling that exclamation point this morning, but the rest definitely applies and I owe it to gratitude practice. From self-hatred to self-acceptance. From self-pity to gratitude. From fear and ego to faith. From the downward spiral of despair to the upward spiral of hope and energy. It didn't and doesn't happen overnight. It takes time and effort. But it does work. Focusing on my blessings somehow brings more blessings. I "look" and "see" what has maybe always been there, but with fres