The Extremes of Addiction
Today I am grateful for our dog Oliver and his love for us. I am also grateful for early morning quiet and meditation time.
As I continue to think about and write about the ways darkness and light are part of our lives, addiction and recovery certainly comes into my heart and mind.
Alcoholism and other addictions take us to extremes. It may start with the lightness of intoxication. The escape. The sensations of body and mind that appeal to us and then trap us. The darkness follows. It may be the darkness of blacking out or passing out. Or the darkness of our tortured thinking and repeated failed attempts to quit, to do better, to be stronger.
For some, the darkness of addiction leads to death. Often a premature death. It stops me short when I think about the many times I could have died; driving drunk, alcohol poisoning, or other ways we are vulnerable to dangers and poor choices when using.
Only by grace did I survive and find recovery. Only by grace have I continued to learn about the grip of alcoholism and what I need to do to lessen the grip, stop the darkness, and head into the light.
The light of recovery is available to me each and every day. Available, but not owed to me. I need to do the footwork, make the effort, apply the tools. Amazing things began to light the way in my early recovery. Amazing things like less self-hatred, more hope. Amazing things like making it through a trigger or temptation without succumbing. Amazing things continue.
The light of recovery always burns bright. The pull of addiction wants to bring me back to the darkness, the extreme hopelessness and sickness of mind and body. My job in recovery is to keep the light burning, through my own efforts and the support of others and the Great Spirit. Each and every day. My job is to honor the light.
As I continue to think about and write about the ways darkness and light are part of our lives, addiction and recovery certainly comes into my heart and mind.
Alcoholism and other addictions take us to extremes. It may start with the lightness of intoxication. The escape. The sensations of body and mind that appeal to us and then trap us. The darkness follows. It may be the darkness of blacking out or passing out. Or the darkness of our tortured thinking and repeated failed attempts to quit, to do better, to be stronger.
For some, the darkness of addiction leads to death. Often a premature death. It stops me short when I think about the many times I could have died; driving drunk, alcohol poisoning, or other ways we are vulnerable to dangers and poor choices when using.
Only by grace did I survive and find recovery. Only by grace have I continued to learn about the grip of alcoholism and what I need to do to lessen the grip, stop the darkness, and head into the light.
The light of recovery is available to me each and every day. Available, but not owed to me. I need to do the footwork, make the effort, apply the tools. Amazing things began to light the way in my early recovery. Amazing things like less self-hatred, more hope. Amazing things like making it through a trigger or temptation without succumbing. Amazing things continue.
The light of recovery always burns bright. The pull of addiction wants to bring me back to the darkness, the extreme hopelessness and sickness of mind and body. My job in recovery is to keep the light burning, through my own efforts and the support of others and the Great Spirit. Each and every day. My job is to honor the light.
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