Rejection Turned to Acceptance

Today I am grateful for early morning quiet to set a good tone for the day ahead, and for exuberant laughter and a funny story from my friend Jill.

My last several posts have been more about the light side of life's fluctuations between dark and light. It's time for a trip to dark places. Dark places like my mind. . . a pretty dark place for a pretty long time when I was in my teens and 20’s, actively alcoholic and in early recovery. It can still get pretty dark at times. It just doesn't last as long. 

This quote hits home on this topic: 

As long as we’re rejecting ourselves and causing harm to our bodies and minds, 

there’s no point in talking about loving and accepting others. 

(Thich Nhat Hanh)

Those words encapsulate my active alcoholism. Negative, self-loathing messages repeated and reinforced. Drinking to the point of passing out and/or blacking out. The total opposite of self-acceptance. Escapism at its best and worst. 

It has been a long journey to a place of self-acceptance. The work and the transformation continue. 
One of the keys to getting to a better place, to being comfortable in my own skin, was and is getting the unconditional love and support of others in recovery. 

I used to think I had to love myself before I could love others. I no longer believe that. The love of others is what has allowed me to be able to love and accept myself. Gratitude practice is an important part of this effort in loving. Pausing to appreciate this moment and those who support me in so many ways brings me peace. I am not alone. I have others with whom to celebrate the light and face the dark.  

For these wonderful and compassionate people in my life, I am deeply grateful.