A Substitute, Not a Replacement
Today I am grateful for brown sugar and oatmeal, and for my comfy slippers.
Yesterday's flat is today's perky. Another reason I chose to not have breast reconstruction following bilateral mastectomy is that nothing was going to replace what nature gave me and cancer took away.
Our real breasts are full of real nerves, fatty tissue, lobes, blood vessels, lymph nodes, ligaments and more. They are attached to our chest wall and the pectoral muscle. Even the best surgeons and cutting edge reconstruction techniques can't match the look and feel of the real deal, nor mend all the damage done with removal. Granted, I didn't think I had a perfect pair to begin with, and at age 43 they were already starting to show their age.
As I finalized my decision to not have reconstruction, I also looked into prosthetics. I wanted to have the semblance of breasts available to me, and they have fit the bill. I do appreciate that I can wear them and that they have allowed me to keep my usual wardrobe. If you don't know I wear prosthetics, you probably wouldn't guess it by looking at me.
I like the flexibility and portability of them, and the freedom to not wear them (which is my usual choice when at home and whenever I exercise). They may not look and feel like the real deal, but they are perkier than my real ones would have been at this point. They are not a replacement, but they are a worthy substitute.
I would have preferred to keep the ones I was born to have, and also do without the cancer that showed up, but the silver lining of a perky pair takes the sting out just a little.
I am in no way making light of the harsh reality of breast cancer. I am telling the only story I have the right to tell--my own. By telling my own story, with my words and my emotions, I believe I am honoring all women who have faced the difficult decisions and incisions that BC can bring.
And I honor those who have paid the ultimate price. There are far worse things to lose than breasts.
Yesterday's flat is today's perky. Another reason I chose to not have breast reconstruction following bilateral mastectomy is that nothing was going to replace what nature gave me and cancer took away.
Our real breasts are full of real nerves, fatty tissue, lobes, blood vessels, lymph nodes, ligaments and more. They are attached to our chest wall and the pectoral muscle. Even the best surgeons and cutting edge reconstruction techniques can't match the look and feel of the real deal, nor mend all the damage done with removal. Granted, I didn't think I had a perfect pair to begin with, and at age 43 they were already starting to show their age.
As I finalized my decision to not have reconstruction, I also looked into prosthetics. I wanted to have the semblance of breasts available to me, and they have fit the bill. I do appreciate that I can wear them and that they have allowed me to keep my usual wardrobe. If you don't know I wear prosthetics, you probably wouldn't guess it by looking at me.
I like the flexibility and portability of them, and the freedom to not wear them (which is my usual choice when at home and whenever I exercise). They may not look and feel like the real deal, but they are perkier than my real ones would have been at this point. They are not a replacement, but they are a worthy substitute.
I would have preferred to keep the ones I was born to have, and also do without the cancer that showed up, but the silver lining of a perky pair takes the sting out just a little.
I am in no way making light of the harsh reality of breast cancer. I am telling the only story I have the right to tell--my own. By telling my own story, with my words and my emotions, I believe I am honoring all women who have faced the difficult decisions and incisions that BC can bring.
And I honor those who have paid the ultimate price. There are far worse things to lose than breasts.
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