Right-Sized Ego
Today I am grateful for yesterday's sunshine and moderate temperatures. In the upper Midwest this time of the year, the 40's are considered moderate and enough cause to roll your windows down, even if only part of the way. I am also grateful for what recovery from alcoholism and the practice of gratitude have taught me about right-sized ego.
Doing this blog has been a lesson in humility. I tried to keep my expectations reasonable when I started "Habitual Gratitude," but my "oversized ego" clamored for more readers, followers, pageviews, comments, more kudos, more validation. I'm not proud of that aspect of my ego, but I'm going for honesty here. After the first weeks and months, I realized that my ego and my expectations were at times taking some of the joy out of blogging. This new action of blogging about gratitude is itself validating enough. I am getting my own kudos via more peace and serenity in my life. That is more than enough.
To the people who have commented about my blog, whether it be in person, via email or phone, or on the blog itself, I truly appreciate hearing from you. As a writer, I hope to reach others with my words, and to hear that I have done that is motivation enough to continue even when I am feeling tired or uninspired. Your words truly touch me and are very much appreciated.
Slowly, I have learned to tell my oversized ego to sit down and shut up! I have learned that a right-sized ego is possible with the humility that gratitude naturally brings with it. As my gratitude practice deepened, I gained more awareness of what mindfulness and presence are. I experience them more. At those times, the messages that have been coming through have been simple but profound: "Just keep doing what you're doing." "Be patient with the process." These were clearly messages coming from a source beyond myself. And I have been listening. Just keep blogging, one day at a time.
Blogging has also given me more confidence as a writer. It gave me the courage to pitch an idea for a column on gratitude to our local paper, and now I do a monthly column titled "Gratitude Flow."
My over- and under-sized ego kept me drinking, kept me stuck in many ways. Today, with the help of gratitude, I strive for a right-sized ego.
I will be taking a blog break for a couple of days, planning to be back posting for Easter.
Have a good day!
Doing this blog has been a lesson in humility. I tried to keep my expectations reasonable when I started "Habitual Gratitude," but my "oversized ego" clamored for more readers, followers, pageviews, comments, more kudos, more validation. I'm not proud of that aspect of my ego, but I'm going for honesty here. After the first weeks and months, I realized that my ego and my expectations were at times taking some of the joy out of blogging. This new action of blogging about gratitude is itself validating enough. I am getting my own kudos via more peace and serenity in my life. That is more than enough.
To the people who have commented about my blog, whether it be in person, via email or phone, or on the blog itself, I truly appreciate hearing from you. As a writer, I hope to reach others with my words, and to hear that I have done that is motivation enough to continue even when I am feeling tired or uninspired. Your words truly touch me and are very much appreciated.
Slowly, I have learned to tell my oversized ego to sit down and shut up! I have learned that a right-sized ego is possible with the humility that gratitude naturally brings with it. As my gratitude practice deepened, I gained more awareness of what mindfulness and presence are. I experience them more. At those times, the messages that have been coming through have been simple but profound: "Just keep doing what you're doing." "Be patient with the process." These were clearly messages coming from a source beyond myself. And I have been listening. Just keep blogging, one day at a time.
Blogging has also given me more confidence as a writer. It gave me the courage to pitch an idea for a column on gratitude to our local paper, and now I do a monthly column titled "Gratitude Flow."
My over- and under-sized ego kept me drinking, kept me stuck in many ways. Today, with the help of gratitude, I strive for a right-sized ego.
I will be taking a blog break for a couple of days, planning to be back posting for Easter.
Have a good day!
Comments
Post a Comment