Side-by-Side Friends (Point #8)
Today I am grateful for knowledge of the serious nature of alcoholism. I am also grateful for push-ups and sit-ups.
Point of clarity #8: "You can't beat having a friend by your side."
This one's for you Jenny. I have mentioned Jenny several times in this blog. She and I were co-workers for several years before our breast cancer diagnoses less than a month apart launched us into what was a huge silver lining during the despair of breast cancer. For years, I had wanted to get to know Jenny better. I never saw this coming though.
When I told her about my diagnosis (we both had family histories of BC) she was already heading down a similar road of tests, mammograms, etc. When she called to tell me of her diagnosis, we met that night and spent time at a Barnes and Noble, in the women's health section. We were full of fear and questions, but we knew already that we were also blessed to have one another. Over the next weeks and months, we talked for hours on the phone, walked for miles in person, and sent long emails back and forth. Those conversations and that time together were invaluable in helping me process what I was going through, and I know she would agree. We certainly have our differences in personality, but we found plenty of common ground in our approach to life, the value of the written word and the love of exercise. (Jenny practices and teaches yoga, I run.)
Jenny went with me to my 3rd and 4th rounds of chemo. We visited each other in the hospital. We laughed together and expressed the whole range of emotions that cancer presents. By then, I had two sisters who had already been through their own BC diagnosis, and their support as well as the support of many family and friends was much appreciated. But "You can't beat having a friend by your side." To be walking a similar path at the same time, we both felt less alone. We unloaded the raw and painful stuff with one another. It was safe. We each did things our own way, but I have a great deal of respect for Jenny and the choices she made.
When we were in that bookstore in June of 2008, we saw a lot of medical books, but not a lot of raw, personal stories. A seed was born. What do you expect from a novelist and a poet? We went on to write a book about our experiences and about our friendship. That book remains in manuscript form, but it is what brought out the essayist in me. (And the book? We still dream of getting it published. Patience required.) Here I am blogging, writing a newspaper column, writing guest blog posts, and more. Jenny helped me with a lot more than cancer stuff. She pushed me to write from a deeper place and helped me find a voice I never knew I had. For that I will always be grateful.
Jenny and I are busy with our own lives, families, writing pursuits. But we have a bond, a deep level of friendship, borne out of a few months in 2008 that changed us both forever. We don't get to see one another very often, but I am so grateful that our friendship emerged out of a challenging time.
My profile picture today is of Jenny and I. We took the picture ourselves. She was coming from yoga class. The hair on my head was soon to start falling out from chemo. The picture is from September of 2008, right in the thick of our cancer ordeals. When I look at it, I see our smiles and the energy we both exude. The energy we gave to one another at some of our lowest points. Thanks Jenny!
Jenny and I were thrown together. Some of my friends didn't know what to say or do when I was going through cancer, and so they kept a distance. But so many were so supportive. A shout out to my friend Jill who was there for me for chemo round 2 and in many, many other ways during that time.
When my friend Sheila was diagnosed with BC herself in 2011, I was able to offer her a kind of support that only fellow cancer patients can offer one another, mixed in with a friendship that had begun over 30 years prior, and included her helping me through some very difficult times.
And then there's Darcy--my husband and my best friend in those ways only a spouse can be. You really can't beat having friends by your side.
Point of clarity #8: "You can't beat having a friend by your side."
This one's for you Jenny. I have mentioned Jenny several times in this blog. She and I were co-workers for several years before our breast cancer diagnoses less than a month apart launched us into what was a huge silver lining during the despair of breast cancer. For years, I had wanted to get to know Jenny better. I never saw this coming though.
When I told her about my diagnosis (we both had family histories of BC) she was already heading down a similar road of tests, mammograms, etc. When she called to tell me of her diagnosis, we met that night and spent time at a Barnes and Noble, in the women's health section. We were full of fear and questions, but we knew already that we were also blessed to have one another. Over the next weeks and months, we talked for hours on the phone, walked for miles in person, and sent long emails back and forth. Those conversations and that time together were invaluable in helping me process what I was going through, and I know she would agree. We certainly have our differences in personality, but we found plenty of common ground in our approach to life, the value of the written word and the love of exercise. (Jenny practices and teaches yoga, I run.)
Jenny went with me to my 3rd and 4th rounds of chemo. We visited each other in the hospital. We laughed together and expressed the whole range of emotions that cancer presents. By then, I had two sisters who had already been through their own BC diagnosis, and their support as well as the support of many family and friends was much appreciated. But "You can't beat having a friend by your side." To be walking a similar path at the same time, we both felt less alone. We unloaded the raw and painful stuff with one another. It was safe. We each did things our own way, but I have a great deal of respect for Jenny and the choices she made.
When we were in that bookstore in June of 2008, we saw a lot of medical books, but not a lot of raw, personal stories. A seed was born. What do you expect from a novelist and a poet? We went on to write a book about our experiences and about our friendship. That book remains in manuscript form, but it is what brought out the essayist in me. (And the book? We still dream of getting it published. Patience required.) Here I am blogging, writing a newspaper column, writing guest blog posts, and more. Jenny helped me with a lot more than cancer stuff. She pushed me to write from a deeper place and helped me find a voice I never knew I had. For that I will always be grateful.
Jenny and I are busy with our own lives, families, writing pursuits. But we have a bond, a deep level of friendship, borne out of a few months in 2008 that changed us both forever. We don't get to see one another very often, but I am so grateful that our friendship emerged out of a challenging time.
My profile picture today is of Jenny and I. We took the picture ourselves. She was coming from yoga class. The hair on my head was soon to start falling out from chemo. The picture is from September of 2008, right in the thick of our cancer ordeals. When I look at it, I see our smiles and the energy we both exude. The energy we gave to one another at some of our lowest points. Thanks Jenny!
Jenny and I were thrown together. Some of my friends didn't know what to say or do when I was going through cancer, and so they kept a distance. But so many were so supportive. A shout out to my friend Jill who was there for me for chemo round 2 and in many, many other ways during that time.
When my friend Sheila was diagnosed with BC herself in 2011, I was able to offer her a kind of support that only fellow cancer patients can offer one another, mixed in with a friendship that had begun over 30 years prior, and included her helping me through some very difficult times.
And then there's Darcy--my husband and my best friend in those ways only a spouse can be. You really can't beat having friends by your side.
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