Considering Mortality (Point #3)
Today I am grateful for the patience medical care providers have with me and my questions. I am also grateful for a working dishwasher (besides me that is).
Point of clarity #3 is "Having to consider my own mortality helps me cherish my life."
Though I didn't consider my mortality at the time, mainly because I was in my late teens and early twenties, my drinking days could have killed me. After my cancer diagnosis, I went to the scariest places. Cancer kills. Will it kill me? I wrote about getting a third chance. Surviving active alcoholism and having a shot at recovery had already been my second chance. Would a post-cancer life be my third chance or had I run out of chances?
I came closer to dying because of my drinking than I did during my cancer treatment and surgeries. I sure hope it stays that way. But I don't know anyone who has heard "you have cancer" who hasn't done some double-takes regarding things like being around to see their kids grow up, knowing their grandchildren, having the chance to enjoy retirement with their spouse. I can only imagine what the double-takes are like for someone with late-stage, metastatic cancer.
I was at my cancer center yesterday for my 6-month check. Things are looking good. For that I am so grateful. I always get a little nervous in advance and feel relief as I leave. Yesterday I walked in as a woman in a chemo cap walked out. I saw patients who were clearly struggling. I also realized, as is usually the case, that I seemed to be one of the youngest in the waiting room. All reminders of the fragility of life. All the more reason to cherish it.
Cherish is such a beautiful word isn't it? Today I will be on the lookout for all that I have to cherish.
Point of clarity #3 is "Having to consider my own mortality helps me cherish my life."
Though I didn't consider my mortality at the time, mainly because I was in my late teens and early twenties, my drinking days could have killed me. After my cancer diagnosis, I went to the scariest places. Cancer kills. Will it kill me? I wrote about getting a third chance. Surviving active alcoholism and having a shot at recovery had already been my second chance. Would a post-cancer life be my third chance or had I run out of chances?
I came closer to dying because of my drinking than I did during my cancer treatment and surgeries. I sure hope it stays that way. But I don't know anyone who has heard "you have cancer" who hasn't done some double-takes regarding things like being around to see their kids grow up, knowing their grandchildren, having the chance to enjoy retirement with their spouse. I can only imagine what the double-takes are like for someone with late-stage, metastatic cancer.
I was at my cancer center yesterday for my 6-month check. Things are looking good. For that I am so grateful. I always get a little nervous in advance and feel relief as I leave. Yesterday I walked in as a woman in a chemo cap walked out. I saw patients who were clearly struggling. I also realized, as is usually the case, that I seemed to be one of the youngest in the waiting room. All reminders of the fragility of life. All the more reason to cherish it.
Cherish is such a beautiful word isn't it? Today I will be on the lookout for all that I have to cherish.
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