Habitual Gratitude

Today I am grateful for another sunrise to appreciate and for a nice anniversary evening out with Darcy, highlighted by beautiful weather and a swinging bench along the Mississippi. Damn the devastation of cancer. On this last Saturday, my high school classmate Randy died of pancreatic cancer. He was 54. Yesterday, Janine, a fellow member of our local breast cancer support group and participant in the "Voices of Hope" DVDs, died of metastatic breast cancer. She was a few days shy of turning 66. I hadn't kept in touch with Randy over the years, but he was in my thoughts and prayers since I heard about his diagnosis. There is a connection that remains with classmates. Class of 1983 in our hearts. I hadn't seen Janine recently, but had been getting updates from her Caring Bridge site and from others in our support group. We were both in both Voices of Hope DVDs back in 2010 and 2012. Members of our families joined us in the second DVD. I think of Janine's fam...

Today I am grateful for my husband Darcy and for the lives we share together, and for our family. Today Darcy and I celebrate our wedding anniversary--21 years! Ours has been a marriage of complements. We complement one another well in numerous ways. Such as how we both prefer to keep a clean house and share in the duties to make it so. Both of us make physical fitness a priority and help each other get out the door for early morning training runs. Both of us understand that a healthy marriage and a strong family take work, consistency, and faith. And laughter and forgiveness are keys, as is appreciation for one another. After 21 years, we also know when to push a point and when to let silence speak, at least better than we used to. Ours is also a marriage of compliments. Not day in and day out, not sappy. Genuine compliments about how we may have handled a situation at work or with one of our family members. A sincere mention of liking a new haircut or the way a shirt fits. We...

Living gratefully today, I give thanks for safe travels in recent days and reliable vehicles. I also give thanks for the family time and the memories, conversations, and laughs shared. I am grateful for time having good fun with our grandson Leo yesterday afternoon too. Darcy, Sam, and I spent well over 25 hours driving and had time in four different states, counting our home state of Minnesota, over the course of eight days. We had our moments (Who doesn't with this much time together in small spaces?), but for the most part we were good travel companions and enjoyed the various scenery and campus experiences we had. Sam has some big decisions to make in the next months. The biggest in his life so far. He has his options narrowed down and we've done the physical tours and meetings. He'll make the best decision he can at the time, with our guidance and support, and then we'll see how things go. No decision necessary today. The gift of time is a good one here. We...

Living gratefully today, I appreciate a roof over my head and people I love under that roof with me. A recovery connection recently used the phrase “ be here or be stuck . . .” It resonated with me for a number of reasons, mainly that it is my daily goal: be present. My default has often been to get lost in thought, to replay those thoughts over and over in a loop, to my detriment. To the detriment of my mental and emotional health. I have come a long way in becoming healthier regarding this, and there is plenty of room for improvement still. Be right here, right now. Or somewhere else. Be stuck . . . in yesterday, tomorrow, my head, an unidentified emotion. I know I am not alone in this struggle. I have many conversations with others who find the idea, and the feeling, of presence to be a bit elusive. It is my impetus to practice living gratefully, pursue regular attempts at meditation, attempt to sit down and do nothing other than take in my surroundings from time to time. ...

Today I am grateful for the refreshing morning air and for safe travels and new experiences. The other evening, my husband Darcy and I were enjoying the nice weather and the end of a good day on a college visit trip with our son Sam. The view from the hotel patio looked out at, among other things, railroad tracks about 50 yards away. A train came around the curve, blew its whistle loudly and then proceeded to roll past at a fairly sedate pace. I began to count the cars, mostly tankers, as they passed. It was reminiscent of growing up. Trains were visible from our farm as they went through our little hometown about a mile across the fields. If a train hit 100 cars or more, it was a big train. The one I just counted the other evening was about 110. Our first home in our current community literally had railroad tracks about 10 yards out our front door. We joked that we lived “on the wrong side of the tracks.” It was a short line only in town and usually just a few cars, moving rea...

Today I am grateful for playful squirrels I got to enjoy watching, and for time with our inquisitive grandson Leo this morning. I saw another good message on a bench along a trail the other day. This bench is about a mile from our house, on a stretch of trail we pass many times, on foot and on our bikes. Because it is close to home, we don't typically stop there. I had never read the memorial plaque on this one. So the other day I decided to stop. I love this portion of our city's trail system. It is one of my favorite places to watch the seasons come and go. This bench also affords a nice view of the minor river that goes through our city. Not the Mississippi across town, but the Vermillion. The sound of the river flowing by is also a welcome treat from this vantage point. Taking a moment to read the plaque, I saw that it was dedicated to a local couple who "loved the great outdoors." It closed with this quote: "Adopt the pace of nature: her secret is p...

Living gratefully, I am enjoying beautiful music and the view of clouds clearing after an earlier thunderstorm. I am also grateful for the women I got to spend time with last night at BC support group. On Sunday, I wrote about being open to the universe. Then, I came across this quote: "When we try to pick out anything by itself, we find it hitched to everything else in the Universe."  (John Muir) I went forward with this thought and considered how very true it is. Here are just a few examples: *Our breaths and the air we take in, part of the Earth's atmosphere. *A person and the parents who made that life possible, and it starts with a few cells. *The pilot of a plane and the passengers on that plane, brought there by innovation. *When I pet our dog Oliver we both feel the warmth and love; living beings connecting. *Enjoying the smell of freshly mowed grass, those who were mowing it, and the grass growing because of the rain that nourishes...

Today I am grateful for my siblings and for the play of dew on the grass with the sunlight this morning. The other day I was biking and thinking about being playful. "Play" is my focus word for the year, given to me randomly by a friend each new year for the last few years. I knew it would be a stretch for me and it has been. Lighten up Lisa! I can be and I am playful. I have a sense of humor that is appreciated by others and myself. But playful is not a word I would use to describe myself. I explored this lighter-hearted concept on my bike recently. Sometimes I will swerve from one side of the path to the other in playful fashion. Sometimes I ride with no hands on the handlebars...whee! I appreciate that I can still balance myself for a nice stretch. (As long as the stretch is flat and straight.) Balance. Balance the present with our previous experiences. Today's date, July 17, sticks in my memory. July 17, 2008 was the date of the first surgery to address the canc...

Today I am grateful for rest, rainbows, and recovery. Last evening, after a day of oppressive heat and humidity, a thunderstorm went through and offered some relief. As the clouds cleared after the storm and we neared dusk, we were treated to rainbows. A double rainbow was visible at times, and is barely visible in this first picture. The time of day, the sun's angle, and Great Spirit collaborated to bring deeper color than is usual, and the awesome show lasted for more than 20 minutes. I stood out in our driveway and took it in. As usual with nature's awe, my phone camera can't capture it all. It is not meant to. Such things are meant to be experienced. Darcy and Sam stepped out for a view, but I stayed out. At one point, as I stood near the road looking up, a woman driving by slowed down and rolled her window down. We didn't know each other, but we were sharing this view. She said "There are two aren't there?"  I said "Yes, and they are ama...

Living gratefully today, I appreciate sweet cherries and our dog Oliver. Today's blog post is #2200. I never would have guessed I would be at this over seven years already. I am frequently inspired with post ideas from what I hear and read as I move through my days. Or just daily life happenings, and little things noted and noticed. At other times, the inspiration is profound and beyond the ordinary stuff of life. I celebrate #2200 with a list of 22 things that have been learned and reinforced from blogging hundreds of posts: 1. "Real writers really write." I am a real writer. I no longer hold back on describing myself as one. 2. When the words flow and I am clicking on all cylinders, it is an awesome feeling. 3. This flow doesn't happen every day, but it happens regularly enough that I believe in it. 4. The discipline of regular morning writing frees me for other pursuits in my day, writing and other. 5. Whether someone else reads a post or not, it has ma...

Today I am grateful for the laughs an old movie provided last evening and for time with friends and acquaintances from connections we have in our community through recovery and through Sam's football team. My goal each day, to put it in short form, is to stay out of my own way. When I am overthinking and overdoing, my typical state, I am under feeling. I am impeding my own efforts to live in the present. When I am not paying attention, I miss plenty of messages from the Universe, plenty of meaningful connections between the world, the people and other living beings in it, and I. Connections that take place on more than one sensory level. Paying attention and just being in the moment, I capture experiences, emotions, and what the Universe is emitting to simple beings like me. Here are a few things I noted in recent days: -A long yellow light and no line at the Post Office just when I needed to gain some time. -The charge at that USPS stop came to $34.50, the same amount ...

Living gratefully today, I am experiencing a sense of peace and also enjoying watching two squirrels playfully chase each other.  Happy Anniversary to my stepson Arthur and his wife Alyssa! Have a special day :-)  I noticed this bench as I ran on a stretch of trail near Arthur and Alyssa's house last week. Darcy and I also took walks with our grandson Aaron riding in his stroller. It is a nice stretch of trail because it highlights nature, the song of birds prevails, and there are shaded areas most welcome on warm and humid mornings. I rarely sit at benches along trails. I am usually just running or biking past. I didn't sit at this one in the picture below either, but the plaque caught my eye as I ran past. It says "Here Comes the Sun." It's a more creative message as far as memorial bench plaques go.  It's an inviting message, a welcoming message to greet the new day, greet the fresh light. Below is a picture of today's sun arriving....

Living gratefully today, I feel cooler air on my skin, see the sun's shadows, and hear the garbage trucks in the neighborhood. My five senses bring me the world. Speaking of the world, I make daily efforts and do regular practices to connect with this world, a Higher Power of my own understanding, myself, and others. I have been using the term Great Spirit more often to refer to this higher power concept. It is a term more often used by Native Americans and to me is all-encompassing and expansive, welcoming me to explore further. The book 365 Days of Walking the Red Road: The Native American Path to Leading a Spiritual Life Every Day  by Terri Jean is a book of daily readings that I have incorporated into my repertoire of prayer and meditation books. I pick one or two books to read from most days and always find meaning and direction in what I read. The reading for yesterday was: "When a man does a piece of work which is admired by all we say that it is wonderful;...

Today I am grateful for the plush beauty and current blossoms in our backyard. I am also grateful for the wisdom and gratitude practices others share. The tree in the pictures below was part of the view we enjoyed on the back deck of what we came to call "the ranch" or the "country house" on our recent trip to Colorado for my sister Mary Jo's celebration of life. My husband Darcy and I stayed there along with several other family members. The space and splendor were well worth the bumpy ride to get there. We noticed this tree right away. The pictures don't do it justice entirely. It stood apart. It stood strong. There was something majestic and intriguing about it. It changed as the light changed. It pulled my attention to it every time I sat out on that deck, alone or with others. Grief shifts and changes. The concern and worry for Mary Jo the last months, the last year and more, are replaced by a deeper sense of loss, and yet some peace as wel...

Today I am grateful for indoor plumbing and refrigerators, two things I regularly take for granted. Last evening I assisted my husband Darcy with the task of cleaning the gutters. I did the work on the ground and he was up on our roof. Our teamwork went pretty smoothly, and we could clearly see our progress, both in the gutters and as the downspouts cleared out. I even "enjoyed" the cold water sprays I got from time to time. It's an annual job we try to take care of as far as house maintenance goes. Now it's done until next summer. As we took care of this type of gutter cleaning, a different kind of gutter cleaning came to mind. The kind that I would sometimes help with in the barn on our dairy farm growing up. If you haven't caught up with me yet, the job involved scoop shovels and a manure spreader. Yesterday's wispy and wistful becomes "get a whiff of that!" Clogged and full gutters, regardless of what may be clogging and filling them, nee...

Living gratefully, I have noticed the minutae of life in recent days. And I have grasped at a deeper level that these seemingly trivial and brief details are anything but trivial and brief. They carry significant and lasting meaning. I was watching some clouds pass by as I rode down the road with my family the other day. The word "wispy" came to mind. Feathery and light clouds, a freeing feeling. Then the word "wistful"came to mind. I was experiencing wistful feelings as life moves forward for us but not my sister. Wistful is defined by words such as longing, yearning, and nostalgic. Sounds a lot like grief too doesn't it? Other wispy and wistful moments in recent days included: *Waves of water rolling to shore along Lake Michigan. *Time with our grandson Aaron and his quickly changing curiosity. *My recent birthday and how quickly the years pass, how much I appreciate another birthday. *Feeling the loss knowing no birthday phone call or card was c...

Today I am grateful for the awe-inspiring beauty of the Rocky Mountains and for time. Time to feel and heal. Though I did plenty of observing on our recent trip, I was also an active participant. Along with four of my siblings, I eulogized Mary Jo at the service held for her. My closing words included: "In my opinion, cancer didn't win. It broke her body, but it didn't break her spirit. That vibrant spirit lives on." I participated in a ride up Trail Ridge Road in Rocky Mountain National Park with several other family members. It had been years since we had gone this far into the park, this far up the road. It was amazing. I have forgotten how exhilarating and stunning the view and the drive are. Thank you to my brother Neal for safely navigating our vehicle both up and down the mountains. As our time together wound down, I also joined several family members in a game of Zilch. It's a fun dice game sure to bring surprises, playful ribbing, and laughter. It...

Living gratefully today, I appreciate the range and depth of human emotions. I also give thanks for new memories made, even under some sorrowful circumstances. On our recent trip to attend my sister Mary Jo's celebration of life service, and to spend time together as a family, I tried to be an active observer. Listening. Watching. Taking in. Feeling. Writing. Experiencing. I can deepen the experience and tap into more genuine feelings when I observe and absorb instead of always thinking and doing. We are a large and varied crew and there is often plenty of moving and talking going on at the same time. Observing can sometimes be more insightful than participating. I treasured a few minutes of sitting in a nearby room and eavesdropping on eight family members playing a raucous game of euchre. I was journaling and listening. The laughter and the playful banter felt so healing and so needed after Jo's service and all the emotions that have been swirling around in recent month...