Once a Cancer Patient, Always a Cancer Patient
Today I am grateful for my sister as she celebrates her 60th birthday. I have had a chance to get to know her the last couple of years in a way I never thought I would and that means a lot to me. I am also grateful for perspective when it comes to being a cancer patient.
The months of tests, appointments, blood draws, surgeries, and chemo treatments as my cancer was addressed in 2008 were exhausting, but they were the steps that needed to happen. One day I was just an average woman with above average risk for breast cancer waiting for the results of an MR-guided biopsy. The next day I was a full-fledged cancer patient rushing headlong into unchartered territory. What I went through in the next months changed me forever in many ways across all realms--physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual. When my third surgery was done and I started on Tamoxifen, I recalled walking out of my oncologist's office both relieved and scared that my next appointment wasn't for three months.
I have been fortunate to have minimal side effects from the Tamoxifen, but I do have some. I will spare you the details, but some of those side effects were evident over the weekend. It's always a bit unsettling to me when that happens. My mind starts to work overtime on what it might mean. Is the drug working? Why is this happening now? Should I be worried about uterine cancer? (Uterine cancer is a rare but potential side affect of Tamoxifen.) I have felt more tired, physically and mentally, lately. It's probably because I have been very busy and behind on sleep. But this mind of mine will get going down this path occasionally.
"Once a cancer patient, always a cancer patient" comes to mind at times like this. I don't live in fear, but it's a new normal post-diagnosis. If all goes well, appointments stretch further out, as do scans and other tests. But it still lurks in the background, coming to the forefront when some of the side effects I mentioned earlier kick in. So I go back to Monday's post and "reduce fear with faith."
Not all fear is bad. Healthy fear keeps me motivated to make good choices for my overall well-being. Healthy fear would have me making at least a phone call to my doctor or oncologist if I had a concern, and an appointment if warranted. Healthy fear has me paying attention to how I am feeling and what is going on in my body.
Onward into the day. Happy Halloween! I am grateful for the pumpkin shirt I got for $5 at Target years ago. I bring it out every Halloween and have made good use out of it. Have a good day!
The months of tests, appointments, blood draws, surgeries, and chemo treatments as my cancer was addressed in 2008 were exhausting, but they were the steps that needed to happen. One day I was just an average woman with above average risk for breast cancer waiting for the results of an MR-guided biopsy. The next day I was a full-fledged cancer patient rushing headlong into unchartered territory. What I went through in the next months changed me forever in many ways across all realms--physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual. When my third surgery was done and I started on Tamoxifen, I recalled walking out of my oncologist's office both relieved and scared that my next appointment wasn't for three months.
I have been fortunate to have minimal side effects from the Tamoxifen, but I do have some. I will spare you the details, but some of those side effects were evident over the weekend. It's always a bit unsettling to me when that happens. My mind starts to work overtime on what it might mean. Is the drug working? Why is this happening now? Should I be worried about uterine cancer? (Uterine cancer is a rare but potential side affect of Tamoxifen.) I have felt more tired, physically and mentally, lately. It's probably because I have been very busy and behind on sleep. But this mind of mine will get going down this path occasionally.
"Once a cancer patient, always a cancer patient" comes to mind at times like this. I don't live in fear, but it's a new normal post-diagnosis. If all goes well, appointments stretch further out, as do scans and other tests. But it still lurks in the background, coming to the forefront when some of the side effects I mentioned earlier kick in. So I go back to Monday's post and "reduce fear with faith."
Not all fear is bad. Healthy fear keeps me motivated to make good choices for my overall well-being. Healthy fear would have me making at least a phone call to my doctor or oncologist if I had a concern, and an appointment if warranted. Healthy fear has me paying attention to how I am feeling and what is going on in my body.
Onward into the day. Happy Halloween! I am grateful for the pumpkin shirt I got for $5 at Target years ago. I bring it out every Halloween and have made good use out of it. Have a good day!
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