A Guest Post : Sometimes It’s Hard to Feel Grateful (& that’s okay)

I discovered Nancy Stordahl's blog, Nancy's Point, several years ago and really appreciate her writing and insights on breast cancer and grief. She has the courage to call BS when she sees it, and also to delve into sensitive and emotional topics. Her perspective is refreshing because she writes her truth, and it is a truth we can all relate to in one way or another. I also encourage you to read her memoir titled Cancer Was Not a Gift & It Didn't Make Me a Better Person. I have had the honor of writing two guest posts for her blog and am now honored to have her write one for mine. Nancy and I have never met in person, but we are blogging friends who share mutual respect for one another's work. She really hits the mark with this piece, just two weeks out from Thanksgiving. 

Thanks Nancy! 

Sometimes It’s Hard to Feel Grateful (and that’s okay)

When Lisa asked me to write a guest post for her wonderful blog, right away, 

I knew I wanted to write about gratitude. 

I mean, how could I not choose to write about gratitude for a blog named “Habitual Gratitude," right?

One thing (of many things) I appreciate about Lisa’s gratitude writings is the fact she 

doesn’t impose her “habitual gratitude philosophy” on her readers. 

I’ll be first to admit, I’m not always big on that whole notion of practicing gratitude. 

I don’t wanna be pressured to find it or feel it. Or practice it even.

Do you? 

Does anyone?

Don’t get me wrong, I’m grateful every single day for many people and many things, and I am certainly very grateful to still be here ten years post-cancer diagnosis. But I don’t need others suggesting when, where or how I should find or practice gratitude, thank you very much.

For example, there’s the suggestion I’ve heard a lot during the pandemic about starting a gratitude journal. I totally get why that doesn’t work for some. I also get why it does for others.

Lisa never pressures. Never judges. Rather, Lisa leads writes by example. 

She encourages while accepting the fact that gratitude ebbs and flows.

So yes, sometimes it’s hard to feel grateful, even at Thanksgiving.

Wait, is that allowed?

Why, yes. Yes, it is.

Because, again, sometimes it’s hard to feel grateful. 

Sometimes, it might even feel impossible. At least for the moment. 

I don’t need to remind you that 2020 has been rough. Really rough. And it’s not even over yet. People are hurting. Far too many families are missing dear ones. There will be empty chairs at too many Thanksgiving dinners. People are out of work. There continues to be tremendous uncertainty about a lot of things. Anxiety and fear are like bad Thanksgiving dinner guests who just won’t stop talking or worse, won’t leave when it’s clear (to everyone else) that it’s time to go home. 

Some of us won’t be having Thanksgiving gatherings at all, or if we do, 

they’ll be entirely different than in years past.

Plus, we’re all grieving. The people and things we grieve for differ for each of us, but we all have grief lists. And at this time of year, grief (all kinds) often intensifies.

Our grief lists can make it hard to feel grateful, perhaps more so this Thanksgiving due to 

the pandemic. Practicing or finding gratitude takes effort, and sometimes you 

just aren’t up to the doing part. You might have to just wait it out a bit. 

Perhaps in the next moment, the next hour, or the next day you will feel up to it. 

There’s no hurry. Gratitude is patient. So, be patient with yourself too. 

Because sometimes it’s hard to feel grateful – even at Thanksgiving.

And that’s okay.