Weaving New Patterns

Today I am grateful for changing weather and for recovery friends. We hold one another accountable and we lift one another up.

Consider this quote:

"Loss makes artists of us all as we weave new patterns in the fabric of our lives." 
(Greta W. Crosby) 

These are such beautiful and true words, and painful too. The losses can be sudden, gut-wrenching, tragic. They can be slow declines to an inevitable end. Loss takes many forms, but carries the common thread of changing the ones going through it. The larger question is how it changes us.

What do we do when we suffer a loss? Do we fill the void and how? Does something or someone else come along? We become a different person, but is it for the better or the worse? These are heavy questions, and ones that take time to unfold.

Most of us don't seek loss. It tends to find us sooner or later. Living in constant fear of it is limiting, and we would miss so much. Denying it could ever happen also holds us back, as we tend to take people and things for granted.

The quote above tells me to keep moving after a loss, keep weaving, even when the pattern is uncertain. Moving forward means the pattern will reveal itself, often in unexpected and stunning ways.

I lost my dad suddenly to a heart attack 20 years ago. I lost my breasts to cancer ten years ago. I have lost friends, co-workers, and fellow recovering people near and dear to me; through moving, retirement, death, and addiction flare-ups. I can often lose my peace and serenity, but gain it back, because I haven't lost my sobriety or ongoing recovery.

Considering our losses also helps us remember our gains. Those are the beautiful patterns emerging, unfolding with guidance from a Great Spirit. Living gratefully and faithfully helps this weaver create a life I never could have on my own.

My friend Sheila suffered an unimaginable loss when her daughter Carli died by suicide in April of 2017. Sheila and I talk quite regularly, even though we rarely get to see one another. The patterns woven in her life and in our friendship, include some neither she nor I could have seen coming. They are deep and meaningful.

My sister Danita suffered the loss of her husband Roger through the slow decline of Lewy body dementia over several years. He died in late 2015. I have witnessed the weaving she has done, while Roger was sick and since his death. More deep and meaningful patterns.

Sheila and Danita have shown me what loss can take, and what it can give.

What losses are impacting you today? What weaving can be done to help you move forward? 

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