Powerlessness
Today I am grateful for a nice picnic and final videotaping session for the Voices of Hope: Family and Friends DVD last evening. I feel fortunate to work with the wonderful group of people who are part of the project.
The idea of powerlessness is one that challenges me on many fronts, but 38 hours without any electricity gave "powerlessness" new meaning. This concept is one you will hear discussed among people working to recover from alcoholism and other addictions.
When it came to alcohol-my drug of choice-I had no control. Once I started to drink, I could not stop. I never had just one drink. That seemed totally pointless to me. I drank to get drunk and to escape. I craved it and was preoccupied by it when I wasn't drinking, and I lost the power of choice when I was drinking. This aspect is a key to understanding addiction. When I tried to quit drinking on my own, it maybe worked for a few days, weeks, even months, but it never stuck. I always went back to drinking to "prove" I could control it. I had to learn about this idea of powerlessness to realize I needed help. I couldn't quit on my own. I needed a higher force and I needed other people and their wisdom and support.
This week, as we dealt with the power outage, I watched and heard others who were frustrated with the lack of control we had over this situation. I had my moments too, but applying this idea of powerlessness to alcohol has taught me how to use it in other circumstances. Recognizing I can't change a situation allows me to not dump energy into it, but rather to focus on my attitude and actions, two things I do have some power over.
Today, I am grateful to understand that facing powerlessness is actually empowering.
The idea of powerlessness is one that challenges me on many fronts, but 38 hours without any electricity gave "powerlessness" new meaning. This concept is one you will hear discussed among people working to recover from alcoholism and other addictions.
When it came to alcohol-my drug of choice-I had no control. Once I started to drink, I could not stop. I never had just one drink. That seemed totally pointless to me. I drank to get drunk and to escape. I craved it and was preoccupied by it when I wasn't drinking, and I lost the power of choice when I was drinking. This aspect is a key to understanding addiction. When I tried to quit drinking on my own, it maybe worked for a few days, weeks, even months, but it never stuck. I always went back to drinking to "prove" I could control it. I had to learn about this idea of powerlessness to realize I needed help. I couldn't quit on my own. I needed a higher force and I needed other people and their wisdom and support.
This week, as we dealt with the power outage, I watched and heard others who were frustrated with the lack of control we had over this situation. I had my moments too, but applying this idea of powerlessness to alcohol has taught me how to use it in other circumstances. Recognizing I can't change a situation allows me to not dump energy into it, but rather to focus on my attitude and actions, two things I do have some power over.
Today, I am grateful to understand that facing powerlessness is actually empowering.
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