Habitual Gratitude

Today I am grateful for the 31-day meditation challenge I just completed, the benefits I feel from it, and the motivation to keep up regular practice of this sacred quiet time.  I'm kind of on a roll with pictures from our weekend snowshoe outings. Yesterday, Darcy and I followed the trail marked out for skiers and snowshoers, and we saw some new areas of the golf course that is our winter wonderland.  This tree caught my eye and pulled at my heart instantly: What caught my eye was the jagged scar left behind by whatever caused this tree to be flattened. Probably a storm. It pulled at my heart because it reminded me of the scars on my flattened chest. After twelve years, I can go days or weeks without really thinking about my chest terrain, courtesy of breast cancer and a bilateral mastectomy. And then some moments, like this one yesterday, can hit me straight on and deliver an emotional punch. I felt sorry for the tree and the rough split of towering branches from sturdy trun...

Living gratefully today, I am noticing good muscle aches and the morning quietude.  I came home from work yesterday a little desperate for some time outside. Wearing a mask, often accompanied by a face shield, all day at school, is necessary and I am used to it now. But it can leave me feeling pretty drained and stifled by the end of the work day. The sun was out, the temperature was agreeable, so I headed out for some snowshoeing when I got home. (That is where the good muscle aches come in.)  Besides masking up all day, it was one of those days full of meetings, phone calls, emails, and conversations. Some I sought, others sought me. Some of those were draining too.  I needed time outdoors in the fresh air, body moving, to clear my head and to put the work day behind me.  Snowshoeing as the sun got lower in the sky and then started to set was good for my soul. Arms and legs moving was beneficial to my heart.  Fresh air and quiet surroundings were what my overl...

Today I am grateful for the feel of my feet on the floor, reminding me that in this moment I am stable and steady, physically and also emotionally.  And this moment leads to the next, and the next . . .  Today's "Word for the Day" at A Network for Grateful Living  is from Jack Kornfield, noted author and Buddhist mindfulness practitioner:                                    While the news often features the worst of humanity,  there are                                     a billion acts of human kindness every hour of every day!                                     Take another breath and sense this truth. The worst of humanity does tend to make head...

Today I am grateful for the sound of the wind chimes that remind me of my sister Mary Jo. I am also appreciative of the gratitude-focused meditation I did this morning.  Darcy and I went snowshoeing on Sunday morning after a fresh snowfall of a few inches fell Saturday afternoon and overnight. It was nice to have the fresh powder. The previous snowfall had been wet and heavy, leaving behind crunchy and hard ice.  We welcomed the scenery and fairly mild late January temperature. I try not to forget the huge gifts in these first few lines...husband, snowshoes, physical capabilities, five senses, nature’s awe. We ended up a little tuckered out by the time we reached the last few hundred yards on our route.  That is when I noticed this small white flag ahead of us. No idea what it was marking, but I know it had a message for me. Let go. Surrender. Turn it over. Accept more, expect less. In that particular moment and throughout my day.  Waving the white flag is a little m...

Today I am grateful for our son Sam and all that being his mother brings to my life.  Happy 19th Birthday Sam! You went from 18 to 19 in this last year, but it was more than just another year. A year ago you had just started second semester of senior year and SnoWeek was coming up. Later in the week, you were crowned King of the SnoWeek court, and a couple weeks later you signed your letter of intent to play college football.   It was an exciting time and we were planning for graduation and your party. Then the pandemic hit. You walked out of school for spring break and never walked back in as a student. Your much-anticipated graduation became a drive-by parade.  You were able to head to college in the fall, but contracted COVID and missed a month of football. You gained experience and perspective in the midst of some really unusual, unfortunate, persistent, and sometimes painful times.  You went to middle school and high school less than two miles from home. Th...

Today I am grateful for friends who share in discussions about gratefulness and perspective shifts. I did my own perspective shift yesterday morning. After being immersed in listening to news on my commute in recent weeks, I decided to just "let the music play" yesterday. A couple of back-to-back faves came on, and I realized how much I had missed the music. Let the music play. For some reason, I am adept at naming many tunes and artists from the years I was growing up. Let the music play wasn't just my planned action, it was the name of a popular song from the early 1980's.  Let the Music Play by Shannon. Released in 1983, the year I graduated from high school.  Listen to it  here . It was one of those post-disco era dance songs that really caught on. As far as I can tell, it's about a man and a woman and how the music and the dancing draw them back together. I was doing more drinking than dancing back then, but I have always liked the song. Let the music play. G...

Today I am grateful for a peaceful and unifying inauguration of America's 46th president, Joe Biden, yesterday. I also appreciated the concert and celebration that came together virtually from many places around the country.  I am brimming with pride as an American woman this morning too. It was wonderful to watch history made yesterday as Kamala Harris was sworn in as the first-ever female Vice President. Fittingly, she was sworn in by Supreme Court Justice Sonia Sotomayor, the first Hispanic and 3rd woman named to the court. Harris is also the first Black and South Asian to serve as Vice President.  I am impressed by what I am learning about Kamala Harris as a person, a lawyer, a Senator. I believe she will be an important and active presence in this administration. She speaks often of her mother, who died in 2009. Shyamala Gopalan Harris, a native of India, was a biomedical researcher who helped advance the treatment of breast cancer. She also supported the activist organiz...

Living gratefully today, I give thanks for pens and journals and the words that flow from one onto the other.  Peace is my word for the year, delivered in the mail earlier this month from my friend Laurel. Thanks Laurel! Peace within is my biggest struggle. I have a mind that has too often over the years undermined peace and calm. The disease of alcoholism and the the toxic thoughts that it feeds have led to much dis-ease for me.  Daily work on recovery has helped me come to recognize peace and calm in my mind and heart. The work continues, and the dividends grow. So peace is a wonderful word for the year for me, especially as I strive for more routine meditation time. Today, the peace I am focused on is the peace of this country I reside in. Unrest has been a frequent term used in recent months for so many challenges we face as a nation. For unprecedented challenges to the democracy we have maintained and the constitution we have upheld for nearly 250 years. My peaceful hopes...

Today I am grateful for warm oatmeal, a working stove to make it on, and sharing this breakfast with my husband Darcy.  Continuing on the topic of sitting, I could benefit from more of it from the simple physical standpoint too. The meditative idea of sitting is helpful, but I get up from that quiet time of reflection and head into my day. I am a doer and a mover and there isn't any visible moss growing anywhere near my feet.  By sitting in quiet reflection and slowing my perpetual thinking, I am also gaining awareness of the toll of perpetual motion on my body. I have long prided myself on the physical capabilities I have maintained as I have aged. But . . .  . . . there is foolish pride and there is healthy pride. Foolish pride says keep going, you got this. I end up exhausted and feeling frustrated because of course I still fell short of my expectations. I may have gotten closer to the bottom of my to-do list, but I ended up further from taking good care of myself, all...

Living gratefully today, I appreciate stretches of the physical and emotional variety. They help me open up to a new day.  I also got a chuckle this morning from an unlikely source— dog poop. You know the saying “poo-poo rolls downhill?” It literally did this morning as our dog Oliver got on top of a little snow pile to do his business. I had to step out of the way before it hit my shoes. I smiled and we continued on our way.  How to sit. Sounds simple enough. Where to sit is a more frequent question. I have been doing more regular meditation in recent weeks. I always feel good when I do it, but haven't been able to make it a regular habit in my life.  I hope more consistent practice helps me more consistently make meditation part of my routine. What we practice grows stronger.  Sitting is an integral part of meditation, so how to sit becomes an important question. It really is about where and how to begin the quiet, reflective time it is meant to be.  I have a ...

Today I am grateful for the smell of coffee before it hits the brewer, and the taste of the first sip when it is done. Grab a shovel, it's getting deep. Literally this morning, there is enough snow to shovel. It's heavy and wet, and honestly not that deep.  But I did notice these mesmerizing patterns last night as I pushed our shovel across the driveway: Forces of nature meet human force in a minor miracle of physics.  My thoughts turned to shovels. Literally, my farm upbringing was not short on opportunities to grab a shovel and pitch some manure. Though the smells weren't always pleasant, my memories of growing up on a farm are.  Figuratively, the shovels look different. We are deep into the pandemic, and it is still getting deeper. Shoveling daily resilience to survive the grueling grind. Shovelfuls of vaccines will take a lot of work and patience to add up to herd immunity. A daily shovel of acceptance always helps.  I have a shovel. You have a shovel. Yes, we al...

Living gratefully today, I appreciate quiet, colors, sounds, tastes, textures. In other words, I appreciate my amazing senses.  This recent “Word for the Day” at www.gratefulness.org has intrigued me ever since I read it:  “Become a prayer-maker. Why? Because what you face in your life is bigger than you can handle.  It is. Go to a place with shadows and privacy and just start talking. There is some  ancient Friend that wants to hear from you.”  Martin Shaw There is such a richness in the words. The idea of making my own prayers is inspiring. I used to see prayers as something written by educated theologian types that the rest of us could then use. Those serve their purpose. But prayers are also meant to be personalized. What I need help with, what I need to let go or accept today is uniquely mine. My request for help should be too.  Just start talking. Nothing fancy. No special vocabulary. Just start talking. What a simple invitation to be vulnerable and ...

Today I am grateful for my recovery friends and the ways we continue to connect in these present circumstances. I am also grateful for enough acceptance of present circumstances that I can move forward into my day rather than be paralyzed by it.  In and out of context. Important distinctions. In context puts flesh on the bones and brings validity to an event or experience.  Out of context spawns misunderstanding and perpetuates lies and half-truths.  In context, words and images are understood and given their true meaning. Taken out of context, words and images can become something else entirely. We are prone to being pulled into the images, headlines, and quotes that have been taken out of context to grab attention.   With our technology and the ease of moving images and editing, with the overflow of information at our fingertips, it is no wonder we have come to this. So much is taken out of context and used to serve a purpose that may be selfish at the least a...

Living gratefully today, I appreciate the growing daylight already evident, and the opportunity to snowshoe with my husband Darcy. Like so many others, I continue to reel from and ponder the events of this past week in my country.  My country. Our country. A country that I love, but that I have also ignored at times. Democracy and disengaged citizens are not a good combination.  As my sister Ruth so accurately put it in this poem: Letter of Apology Sorry I took you for granted. I always thought  you would  be here. Sorry when others talked behind your back, called you names, I didn’t speak up. I promise to do better. I will not take you for granted. I will stand up for you, when others speak ill. Democracy,  I hope  it’s not  too late.   Ruth Busta  January, 2021 I owe my nation the same apology, and I offer the same pledge to stand up and do my part. Thank you Ruth!  And I leave you with this quote as well: " Love and hope are infinitel...

Today I am grateful for laundry. Yes, laundry. I don’t hate doing laundry, but I don’t love it either. I am grateful for a working washer and dryer, electricity, plenty of clothes, loved ones whose clothes I can lovingly wash and fold.  I like any job I can see immediate results with. This morning I was fresh off some meditation time that I have been trying to incorporate regularly into my morning routine. Senses heightened and some oxytocin released, putting the clothes in the washer felt different.  The texture of Darcy’s new work shirts, as he began the first week of his new job. He is still working from home, but he upgraded his wardrobe a bit. The smoother feel of Sam’s workout clothes and their quick-dry fabric. He will be heading back to college this next week. A load of laundry and the love I have for my guys. Not a bad way to begin a day. Onward! 

Today I am grateful for courageous people and the Constitution of the United States of America. I have been at a loss for words, but not emotions, in recent days. There is one word I keep returning to: sadness. Sadness for what has transpired. First, on Wednesday in our nation's capitol. Then, with the deadliest U.S. daily toll of COVID-19 yesterday. Sadness.  This poem rolled around the last couple days. It's not polished or all that eloquent, but I wanted to get something down.  Here it is and here we are: Contribute  I cannot speak  for you.  You cannot speak  for me. Each of us has our own stories  to live and tell. We can join  our voices  in unison  for decency  and democracy.  Judging one another will not serve us, our nation, or the world now.  Our energies  are needed  elsewhere. Put it to use  being a  contributing member  of society. Start local.  Think national.  Don't forge...

In gratitude today, I pause and notice the gifts of early morning quiet and the connection I have with our dog Oliver.  Notice me! This is not me looking for attention. This is my life seeking my full attention. It's a lofty goal.  I don't expect myself to keep it up all day, but if I can tune in more fully more often, I think I will be surprised at what I learn and what I am shown. This door handle implored me to notice it the other day when I was exercising in our family room. It is the handle on a door in the dry sink we have and that I use for my journals and a few books. I am literally using this handle daily, sometimes several times a day. For over fifteen years.  And last week you could have shown me this picture and I wouldn't have known what it was. I had not ever noticed the intricate and beautiful design on this door pull. It woke me up in a new way that day.  In my defense, we had moved furniture around a couple months ago, and this piece gained a more pr...

Living gratefully today, I give thanks for family, faith, friendship, and fun facts. A special shout-out to my stepdaughter Emily today on her 26th birthday! Have a great day! My husband Darcy and I took advantage of a beautiful morning yesterday to get out and snowshoe. We are glad we invested in pairs for each of us last winter, and glad we got enough snow in the last couple weeks to be able to put them to use. We are also fortunate that we live across the street from an 18-hole golf course that sets up trails for skiers and snowshoers this time of the year. I appreciate the land being available for use most of the year and that although we are not golfers, we can enjoy the beauty and space. Thanks to our neighbors!  I was looking for unique landscape pictures to document our little outing and ended up with  these two among the several I took:  I initially called these both pine trees, but then set out to determine what kind of pine trees they are. That search helped me...

Today I am grateful for safe travels, a visit with my mom and a few other family members, and the beauty of the Iowa countryside.  Mom's nursing home was able to start porch visits again, after weathering a COVID-19 outbreak, so I wanted to get there for a visit. Darcy and Sam joined me. We kept our trip short and our contacts limited, but the connections made are treasured today as I sit in my own home and welcome a new day. A couple weeks ago we watched the Bee Gees documentary How Can You Mend a Broken Heart  and have since watched three more: Michelle Obama's Becoming , Dolly Parton's Here I Am and last night it was Robin's Wish about Robin Williams. They each captured and held our attention and interest in different ways and we will likely continue to find biographical documentaries to view.  Life as documentary. People, places, and events that have a far-reaching impact, either over time or in a moment in time, tend to be the ones that films are made about. Aren...