The "Big I"

Today I am grateful for people who share their gratitude and insights, and of the range of human experience and wisdom that show themselves in connections, conversations, and common ground.

Moving along in this alphabetical saunter through some of life's challenges, the letter "I" lands me right in the lap of "The Big I." And this is not the lap of luxury. This is the lap of interference. A recovery friend of mine likes to use this term, this reference to "The Big I."  It's more of the ego trip I wrote about a few posts ago.

"The Big I" impedes my progress and interferes with a healthy sense of self. It makes problems out of nothing, then makes them bigger problems. It stifles clarity and misguides until I am stranded on a dead-end road wondering how I got there.

"The Big I" used to be invisible to me, allowing it to run rampant and pick up steam. It is no longer invisible, though it can be ignored or denied until enough pain and frustration make me look at it. This "Big I" will always be part of me. My goal is to tame it, keep it friendly.

This idea can be confusing. Aren't we supposed to take care of ourselves? Doesn't it need to be about us at least some of the time? Yes. But that is not "The Big I."  That is the "I" that is part of we, that shares the planet with the other "I's" in compatible fashion.

Then there is the misuse and abuse that comes when someone with "The Big I" syndrome has power.
It happens on a small scale and a large scale every day. It leads to inequality, violence, apathy, injustice, suffering.

What can little people like me and you do about that?  Stand tall. Look the world in the eye. Smile and greet the next person we encounter, whether we know them or not. It's a start. It's an acknowledgement that there is dignity in every human. The same dignity. Not more or less depending on who you are and what you do.

It's a start. It's what we can do. Hope and a better energy build from there.