On the Dark Side and $20
Today I am grateful for clarity amidst emotional turmoil. I am also grateful for the wisdom and grace others in recovery share with me.
One of those others in recovery used the term "the dark side" in a discussion we were having yesterday. It is a place any and all addicts and alcoholics are familiar with. Any and all humans in fact. Addicts and alcoholics don't have a monopoly on the dark side, but we certainly have our share.
The dark side is why I drank. I could escape from my increasing, deepening darkness for a few hours, but ended up creating still more darkness. Creeping self-pity and more isolation took me further and further from the sources of light in my life. Quitting drinking was the start of the light returning. Ongoing recovery and living life on life's terms brings a steady and reliable flow of light.
I don't want to forget the dark side. It gives me perspective that makes me grateful to be where I am today, surrounded by more light, hope, and faith. But I can't afford to dwell in dark thoughts for long. Reminiscing on a short visit is okay, moving back in for the long haul is not. Gratitude helps me see the light in my life, helps me back out of those brief forays we all sometimes take to the dark side.
Yesterday brought a little story of light. We were doing errands and discussing money outflow. My husband Darcy made a random comment about how it would be nice to find $20. A couple hours later, we pulled into a different parking lot to do a different errand. I caught a glimpse of something on the curb. When I got out to investigate, there was a $20 bill. For real. We laughed about his earlier comment and actually finding a $20 a little while later. But it was more than laughter. It was good karma or something. Not because the $20 was a big amount or anything like that, because something bigger than both of us was at work. That's the light.
After finding the money, I saw no one in the vicinity, so I took it. We have a service opportunity today and will use the $20 to help purchase food items that we are helping serve to migrant farm workers this afternoon. That seemed like the right thing to do. The $20 will be gone, the light will remain.
Gratitude practice reins in self-pity. Gratitude practice lights a lantern in the darkness. Gratitude practice allows us each to create our own light source, and to share it with others. Onward. Out of the dark.
One of those others in recovery used the term "the dark side" in a discussion we were having yesterday. It is a place any and all addicts and alcoholics are familiar with. Any and all humans in fact. Addicts and alcoholics don't have a monopoly on the dark side, but we certainly have our share.
The dark side is why I drank. I could escape from my increasing, deepening darkness for a few hours, but ended up creating still more darkness. Creeping self-pity and more isolation took me further and further from the sources of light in my life. Quitting drinking was the start of the light returning. Ongoing recovery and living life on life's terms brings a steady and reliable flow of light.
I don't want to forget the dark side. It gives me perspective that makes me grateful to be where I am today, surrounded by more light, hope, and faith. But I can't afford to dwell in dark thoughts for long. Reminiscing on a short visit is okay, moving back in for the long haul is not. Gratitude helps me see the light in my life, helps me back out of those brief forays we all sometimes take to the dark side.
Yesterday brought a little story of light. We were doing errands and discussing money outflow. My husband Darcy made a random comment about how it would be nice to find $20. A couple hours later, we pulled into a different parking lot to do a different errand. I caught a glimpse of something on the curb. When I got out to investigate, there was a $20 bill. For real. We laughed about his earlier comment and actually finding a $20 a little while later. But it was more than laughter. It was good karma or something. Not because the $20 was a big amount or anything like that, because something bigger than both of us was at work. That's the light.
After finding the money, I saw no one in the vicinity, so I took it. We have a service opportunity today and will use the $20 to help purchase food items that we are helping serve to migrant farm workers this afternoon. That seemed like the right thing to do. The $20 will be gone, the light will remain.
Gratitude practice reins in self-pity. Gratitude practice lights a lantern in the darkness. Gratitude practice allows us each to create our own light source, and to share it with others. Onward. Out of the dark.
Gratitude begets service... and not just ordinary service but service with excellence.
ReplyDeleteThanks for this post Lisa
steve
Gratitude does indeed bring a willingness to serve, and also seems to lead to noticing more opportunities to serve.
ReplyDeleteThere are many ways to be of service, big and small. Thanks Steve for serving others and inspiring us with your videos too!