Heavy Stillness

Today I am grateful for recovery connections just when I need them, and a Higher Power always available to me. It just takes an open heart and mind on my part, a.k.a. willingness. 

Heavy and stillness aren't typically words I use together. If I have, it might have been to describe a foggy morning.  More recently, I heard it in one of my guided meditations. Heavy stillness. A deeper sense of being, existing fully in this moment.

I find comfort, and acknowledge progress, in my practice to become more fully and readily present. It all sounds pretty heady and not very pragmatic. Yes on both counts. Pragmatism will only take me so far. Deeper spirituality is boundless. 

After taking myself too damn seriously for decades, after relentlessly pushing my own overthinking and overdoing agenda for so long, more self-compassion and fewer unrealistic expectations go a long way in bringing me to a healthier sense of self.

It starts in that heavy stillness. Breathing. Sensing. Grounding. Noticing. 

I noticed the beauty in these amazing amaryllis blooms that my sister Ann recently captured:

In the stillness and awe of each one's unique bounty, I feel not a heart heavy with worry and grief, but rather a heart heavy with hope and connection. 

Thank you Ann.  Thank you Universe.