Motherhood on Mother’s Day

Today I am grateful for my mom, Gertie, and to be a mom to Sam and stepmom to Arthur and Emily. I am grateful to those who have mothered me in ways I needed over the various stages of my life.

Motherhood has brought a richness to my life that I deeply appreciate. My stepchildren gave me a good start on parenting before Darcy and I welcomed our own child, Sam, into the world in early 2002.

I sit here today, watching pictures of my baby on a digital photo frame. They are from the last year, so the baby is a young man in these pictures. The frame was supposed to be out for his grad party in a few weeks, but we brought it out early. We are celebrating Sam's senior year in the ways we can, knowing there will be significant ways we can't. That includes the prom that didn't happen last night.

The COVID-19 pandemic has put a pall over so much, a stall on normal. Yet, Sam and his classmates will be done with high school on May 29, three short weeks away. Pandemic or not, this is the last Mother's Day with Sam at home, school-aged. Next year has some uncertainties for sure, but he is going off into adulthood no matter how it plays out.

There is bittersweet joy in my heart today, for my wonderful son who I love dearly. And there is a heaviness in ways too. I think of Mom and my siblings. Any visiting done for Mother's Day is taking place through a screen or window on the front porch of her nursing home. At least we have that. Two of my sisters and one of my brothers went to visit Mom on Friday, to avoid the weekend porch rush. The picture of Mom sent out to us was so sweet and so sorrowful all at once.

Through a screen with a mask on, our frail mother. And then I think, frail my ass! Her and Dad raised 13 children, hundreds of chickens, many pounds of potatoes, and so much more. Mom will always be a mystery to me in some ways, but she is a source of strength to me in others. Thank you Mom!

Thank you and Happy Mother's Day also to my mother-in-law Marlene! You raised a fine son in my husband Darcy.

I am thinking of my nieces Whitney and Rena today, their first Mother's Day since their mom, my sister Mary Jo, died. The date on the calendar tells me it was one year ago tomorrow that I said my final goodbyes to Mary Jo as she lay in bed, slipping away, metastatic breast cancer getting the upper hand.

I think about others who lost their moms this past year, and the freshness of the grief on a day like this. About those who want to be moms but have difficulties that prevent that at this time. And those mothers who have lost children; a pain that must be so deep.

I look at a few more photos of my healthy and happy son, and I savor this moment, this day ahead. I relish in all that motherhood has brought to my life. Happy Mother's Day to all moms!

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