"B" Words Abound
Today I am grateful for warm boots and other winter gear, and the physical capability to shovel some fresh snow greeting us this morning.
An abundance of "B" words are calling to be written about. Yesterday's alcoholism is today's torturous BLACKOUT. Drinkers in a blackout are still awake and functioning (albeit not very well) and this can go on for hours. There is just no recollection of it the next day, hence the anguish of wondering what was said and done, and what was seen and heard by others. Blackouts are a clear sign of problem drinking and they were a common symptom for me.
BLIND SPOTS are those things about ourselves that hinder us but that we don't even see, or at the very least we lack understanding. We all have them. One of my significant blind spots has always been my selfishness and self-centeredness. I am still working on this one, though substantial progress and awareness have come. In my younger days, I thought "How can I be selfish? I have 12 siblings and have to share pretty much everything?" I came to learn that selfish thinking is my downfall. When I spend a lot of time spinning in my own head, I lose ground in many ways.
It was a challenge when my BREASTS were removed in December of 2008 as part of my treatment for Stage I infiltrating ductal carcinoma (IDC) and more extensive ductal carcinoma in situ (DCIS) in my right breast. It took months of physical and emotional healing to come to terms with this "strange vacancy." But I appreciate that I started that healing as soon as I woke up from surgery and took a look at the new flat terrain of my chest. I was determined that this would not be a blind spot, and it hasn't been.
BI*** is what I can become when I overdo and overthink and overextend, all things for which I have quite a knack. As an alcoholic in her cups is an unlovely creature, so is an exhausted and emotional midlife woman. Self-care needs more attention, and I am trying to honor that.
As I sit here composing this, I have taken a few pauses to absorb the feelings that have surfaced, the warm glow of our holiday lights, gut-grabbing lines from favorite songs coming through my headphones. I embrace the wisdom of slowing down and looking back on the lessons these "B" words have each taught me.
Ask yourselves today: "What words that start with "B" have offered challenges and then become catalysts in helpful ways in my life?"
An abundance of "B" words are calling to be written about. Yesterday's alcoholism is today's torturous BLACKOUT. Drinkers in a blackout are still awake and functioning (albeit not very well) and this can go on for hours. There is just no recollection of it the next day, hence the anguish of wondering what was said and done, and what was seen and heard by others. Blackouts are a clear sign of problem drinking and they were a common symptom for me.
BLIND SPOTS are those things about ourselves that hinder us but that we don't even see, or at the very least we lack understanding. We all have them. One of my significant blind spots has always been my selfishness and self-centeredness. I am still working on this one, though substantial progress and awareness have come. In my younger days, I thought "How can I be selfish? I have 12 siblings and have to share pretty much everything?" I came to learn that selfish thinking is my downfall. When I spend a lot of time spinning in my own head, I lose ground in many ways.
It was a challenge when my BREASTS were removed in December of 2008 as part of my treatment for Stage I infiltrating ductal carcinoma (IDC) and more extensive ductal carcinoma in situ (DCIS) in my right breast. It took months of physical and emotional healing to come to terms with this "strange vacancy." But I appreciate that I started that healing as soon as I woke up from surgery and took a look at the new flat terrain of my chest. I was determined that this would not be a blind spot, and it hasn't been.
BI*** is what I can become when I overdo and overthink and overextend, all things for which I have quite a knack. As an alcoholic in her cups is an unlovely creature, so is an exhausted and emotional midlife woman. Self-care needs more attention, and I am trying to honor that.
As I sit here composing this, I have taken a few pauses to absorb the feelings that have surfaced, the warm glow of our holiday lights, gut-grabbing lines from favorite songs coming through my headphones. I embrace the wisdom of slowing down and looking back on the lessons these "B" words have each taught me.
Ask yourselves today: "What words that start with "B" have offered challenges and then become catalysts in helpful ways in my life?"
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