Sorting and Blooming
Today I am grateful for the safe travels my sister Zita and I had to and from Colorado and for the meaningful and enjoyable time we had there with family.
My sisters Mary Jo, Danita, and Ann live there and we were able to see our three nieces and our nephew and extended family as well. Mary Jo's metastatic breast cancer did not respond to the most recent treatment regimen. Of the three used since her diagnosis of MBC a year ago, only one slowed the cancer. That was IV chemo and it was the toughest on her and her body.
Her options are running out and the disease is progressing. It sucks. It's hard to witness. There is bone pain, nausea, extreme fatigue, a raspy cough. The ravages of cancer are not pretty.
And yet we laughed, we shared memories, we saw new things. We had some nitty-gritty conversations on some nitty-gritty topics that come up when a loved one is faced with a terminal illness. We reminisced. We ate too much. We walked.
But Mary Jo didn't eat much because of her nausea and lack of appetite. She didn't walk much either. Cancer is getting the upper hand. The daily tasks and activities I continue to do with ease are now sometimes monumental, sometimes impossible for her.
There are plenty of emotions and thoughts to sort through in the wake of this trip. We each bring our own perceptions and life experiences to this time. None of us is in Mary Jo's shoes, and she hasn't been here before either. How does one approach such a time in life?
Sort through what you can each day. Appointments. Decisions. Medications to take. Time with family and grandchildren. Rest. An hour at a time. A day at a time.
And look for the hope. There can always be hope, even when the outlook is grim. Hope finds the light that makes it possible to keep moving. Hope brings the blooms and beauty of flowers. Like these pictured below, a Christmas cactus of Mary Jo's and an orchid of Danita's.
If I stick to sorting today's emotions, not yesterday's or tomorrow's, and looking for the literal and figurative blossoms in the hours ahead, I will most likely find awe, wonderment, energy, and some of that hope.
My sisters Mary Jo, Danita, and Ann live there and we were able to see our three nieces and our nephew and extended family as well. Mary Jo's metastatic breast cancer did not respond to the most recent treatment regimen. Of the three used since her diagnosis of MBC a year ago, only one slowed the cancer. That was IV chemo and it was the toughest on her and her body.
Her options are running out and the disease is progressing. It sucks. It's hard to witness. There is bone pain, nausea, extreme fatigue, a raspy cough. The ravages of cancer are not pretty.
And yet we laughed, we shared memories, we saw new things. We had some nitty-gritty conversations on some nitty-gritty topics that come up when a loved one is faced with a terminal illness. We reminisced. We ate too much. We walked.
But Mary Jo didn't eat much because of her nausea and lack of appetite. She didn't walk much either. Cancer is getting the upper hand. The daily tasks and activities I continue to do with ease are now sometimes monumental, sometimes impossible for her.
There are plenty of emotions and thoughts to sort through in the wake of this trip. We each bring our own perceptions and life experiences to this time. None of us is in Mary Jo's shoes, and she hasn't been here before either. How does one approach such a time in life?
Sort through what you can each day. Appointments. Decisions. Medications to take. Time with family and grandchildren. Rest. An hour at a time. A day at a time.
And look for the hope. There can always be hope, even when the outlook is grim. Hope finds the light that makes it possible to keep moving. Hope brings the blooms and beauty of flowers. Like these pictured below, a Christmas cactus of Mary Jo's and an orchid of Danita's.
If I stick to sorting today's emotions, not yesterday's or tomorrow's, and looking for the literal and figurative blossoms in the hours ahead, I will most likely find awe, wonderment, energy, and some of that hope.
Sorting today's emotions - not yesterdays and tomorrow. Wow on the orchid and Christmas cactus. Thanks Lisa.
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