Setting the Tone

Today I am grateful for a warm and secure house in the midst of a late spring snowstorm. I am also grateful for a nice birthday for my husband Darcy.

A week ago, my sister Ruth and I were heading to the airport for our trip to Colorado to connect with our other six sisters. We flew economy class and didn't have seats together. I am usually not someone who talks too much to a stranger sitting next to me on a plane, but I was open to the idea last week.

The man who sat next to me had caught my eye earlier when we were waiting at our gate. He was sharing a charging station with us and his looks reminded me of an older version of my brother-in-law Roger.

As we settled in to our seats, we did strike up a conversation, this stranger and I. It was fun to learn that he had proposed to his wife just two weeks after they met. They made it 48 years together before she died of complications from MS. It was sad to hear about her decline and the challenges he faced as her caregiver.

He was flying to Colorado to meet up with his two sons and a couple of his grandsons for a skiing excursion. In his early 80's now, he wasn't sure he would be doing any skiing, but he spoke of how he had taught all of his kids to ski at a young age. And how he still exercises at a local fitness facility back in his home state of Connecticut. How he stays hydrated, as he sipped from his reusable water bottle.

This man who resembled Roger in looks also shared a similar passion for fitness and outdoor activity. And like my sister Danita, Roger's wife, he shared the role of caregiver and the heartbreak of the health decline and eventual death of a lifemate. Roger died of complications from Lewy body dementia in November of 2015, at age 64.

We had been talking for a considerable amount of time before we asked one another our names. His name is Art. The same as my dad, my brother, my stepson. Another random coincidence that left me feeling heartened by this random conversation.

After arriving in Denver and wishing one another a good rest of the trip, we thanked each other for the pleasant conversation and parted ways. When I asked my sister Ruth if my seatmate reminded her of anyone, she immediately said Roger as well.

My conversation with Art and the coincidences within it helped set the tone for our trip.

Living gratefully, when practiced faithfully, sets the tone for my day. Sets the tone for the present moment.  There is much beyond our control, but setting our own tone is not. 

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