Flat

Today I am grateful for a working washer and dryer and for electricity, something I really do take for granted. I'm also grateful that I don't stay stuck in the muck as long as I used to.

I am feeling a bit uninspired and overly tired. I can point to reasons why, but more importantly, I can just keep moving, in twenty-four hour segments.

This is a poem I wrote over two years ago. It speaks to some of what I am feeling now.

Flat

I feel flat
Not literally
Though that
Is also
My reality

Inner flatness
Stalled out
Spent battery
Out of ink

Tamoxifen-induced
Moodiness?
Perhaps
Post-cancer
Depression?
Maybe
Letdown
After the marathon?
Quite possible

How does one
Fight back
Against the
Flatness?
Bring some
Contour back
To the
Brain waves
And heart strings

Change the
Vantage point
Pick the
Next hill
And start
Walking

LV  11/25/09

Tamoxifen is a medication used in breast cancer treatment. It is an anti-estrogen. Mood swings can be one of the side effects. Heck, I was having mood swings before I started on Tamoxifen. I appreciate that I don't have some of the more unpleasant side effects of the drug, but I definitely can tell that it impacts how I am feeling and handling my emotions at times.

Like the poem says though, I will start my day by walking. Literally by taking Oliver for his walk. But also in the figurative sense . . . walking in the moment, doing the next right thing.

Onward! Have a nice day.