Habitual Gratitude

Today I am grateful for sunshine, warm breezes, walks, and bike rides. I am grateful for those who maintain our community's parks and trails so we can appreciate and enjoy them. The month of April is ending today. Already. It inspired this poem this morning: My poem-a-day challenge for the month is also ending. I suspect poems will continue to be written, just in a less disciplined fashion. The discipline is good for me, as long as it doesn't turn to rigidity. So I will move into May with other ideas for healthy discipline in my life.  Writing will be part of my May. It is part of every month in my life, helping me honor the lessons in the endings and embrace the possibilities in the new beginnings. Endings come. Beginnings arrive. What will you and I do with ours today? 

Today I am grateful for the faith that helps me face fear and for the sunshine that returned to our area yesterday after being behind clouds for days. The word on my mind yesterday was grueling . It is defined as extremely tiring and demanding . This time in a school year gets grueling. Even in a typical year, the last few weeks are tough. Students and teachers alike can have spring fever, be tired of the routine, have an accumulation of lack of sleep.  It is a busy time as one year is wrapping up at the same time that planning and preparation for the next year is also ramping up. I have seen it each year in my 30-plus in education. Tiring and demanding. This past year has been anything but typical. In ways, this school year has felt grueling from day one. My school has been in person a vast majority of days. It started with many unknowns. Continued with some level of fear always present, with concern about contracting COVID. Masking and sanitizing necessary, and done responsibly....

Living gratefully today, I give thanks for a working washer and dryer, and for a sink and water to do our dishes in as we await the arrival of a new dishwasher. I have washed a lot of dishes in my day, and it brings back smiles of the system we had down to efficiently clean up after our large family meals when we were growing up.  Life and the weather have been delivering many ups and down lately, and over the last 14 months or so as we have lived with the pandemic, social unrest, uncertainty in many forms. There have been recent ups and downs in the weather. Snow flakes and 70's, sun, wind, clouds, rain. A nice day to tease us and then a reminder of the fickle nature of Mother Nature. The last few days in our area have seen persistent clouds and some rain. The gray days when we could be treated to longer hours of sunshine seem like a real downer. Stick around. It will get better. And then there are the ups and downs of social issues. The strain on so many as the Chauvin trial unfo...

Living gratefully, I paused in a few moments of meditation and walked away more energized. I am thankful today for helpful assistants in medical/health settings.   My sister Mary Jo has been on my mind more in recent weeks. She died in June 2019 of metastatic breast cancer (MBC). I remember thinking last year as the one year anniversaries of seeing her for the last time, her death, and her memorial service all came, how it all would have been so different with the pandemic circumstances. And I was absorbed and depleted by those pandemic circumstances too.  So this year I feel as if I am in ways experiencing this time more fully than I did a year ago. Grief has a way of showing itself, as does the idea of honoring Mary Jo's life and not forgetting her. My other six sisters and I exchanged a few texts the other day with Mary Jo's presence felt. We spoke of sculpture gardens and baking and the music of the Moody Blues. Jo often was one to sing or hum along to whatever music ...

Today I am grateful for good overall health and I appreciate the life experience that helps me know what regular endeavors will maintain wellness. So often when we hear most about how important our health is to us are times when someone has lost their health in one way or another. There is the tragic finality of a college student dying by suicide, and the tired cancer patient post-treatment. There is the family member fading into dementia, or losing to COPD.  There are the overuse injuries of young and old athletes, the depression and anxiety of so many heightened by COVID-19 circumstances. There are those feeling ill following vaccination and those left with the soul sickness of grief and waning faith and hope.  Before the pandemic arrived, we were already hearing about epidemics of obesity, opioid addiction, screen time taking over from outdoor time. Our health report as a nation and a world does have some low marks.   I can sit in despair of all of this concerning...

Today I am grateful for pillows. They provide comfort and support in bed and when I am sitting on our couch. I appreciate the other sources of comfort and support in my life, animate and inanimate.  Pillows are layers of support. Speaking of layers, that is what comes to mind when I look at this picture I took a couple days ago: This is a wetland area near the Mississippi River and one of my favorite views of the seasons as they come and go. The new spring green of the leaves on the trees in the middle layer offers a nice contrast to the fallow grasses that will soon take on more green hues too, and the sky above with the spread of clouds among the blue.  Nature's layers are ever-evolving. These evolutions are a source of awe and one reason why being outdoors calls to me on a daily basis. It energizes me to be part of this grand transformation taking place in big and small ways each day, each moment. I find this picture soothing; like Nature soothes me, slows me down, demands ...

Living gratefully today, I give thanks for Minnesota Public Radio and their news coverage. I also appreciate the hard work of jurors, lawyers, the judge, witnesses, court officials, and so many others in a very public trial.  I was listening to Minnesota Public Radio (MPR) on my way to work yesterday, on edge and concerned about the pending verdict in the Derek Chauvin trial. Wondering when the verdict would come and what it would be as I headed to my job in a Twin Cities suburb about 20 miles from where it all started last May.  And I was listening to MPR as I drove home from work too, following a faculty meeting which included how to continue to support our students, as well as some discussion of security and the "what ifs" if there was violence and unrest in the metro. I arrived home just in time to sit with my husband and watch on TV as the verdicts were read by Judge Cahill and each juror was polled.  A few hours later, I wrote this: Refrains Heard:    ...

Today I am grateful for our dog Oliver, for recovery friends who help through thick and thin, and for the chance to donate blood yesterday.  After never donating blood until last April, Darcy and I have now donated six times. We began as a way to be of service to others in the uncertain and "stay-at-home" time early in the pandemic. We are grateful to be able to continue. Today's numbers are on a lighter note, pun intended. I heard an old rock song,  “Turn Up the Radio” ,  by Autograph the other day and it brought me back to the jukebox at the bar I frequented in my drinking days. I was pretty sure this song was #126 on said jukebox.  I have lost a little confidence in the accuracy of this #126 over the last couple days. Maybe it was #119 or #129? There is one song I know I have right and that is “My Kinda Lover” by Billy Squier. It was definitely #148 and it was definitely a regular for us.   Jukeboxes, hanging out in bars, and drinking. All things in my ...

Today I am grateful for a bike ride, more sunshine, those who are working so hard to get vaccines out and into arms. I am grateful for the front line medical workers who continue to work with and comfort COVID-19 patients each day.  I'm on a numbers kick. Yesterday it was about the kick of runners at a track meet. Today's numbers are much more somber. Over the weekend, the world passed the devastating milestone of 3,000,000 COVID deaths.  According to Google Maps, the Brooklyn Center Police Department is 41 miles away from our house. Sometimes it seems a world away. At other times, it seems that the Twin Cities metro area is all one tense, grieving, and worried place. The nights of protest since the shooting of Daunte Wright have been peaceful at times, on the brink of chaos at others.  Adding to this high alert, the trial of Derek Chauvin is heading to closing arguments today and 12 jurors will soon be deliberating the three charges and potential verdicts he faces. Th...

Today I am  grateful for the pleasant weather and pleasant company of my sister Ruth and her husband Bob yesterday.  Darcy and I joined them at a collegiate track meet our niece Ellie was running in. We soaked up the sun for most of the afternoon, before consistent cloud cover had us putting on the extra layers we had brought along. After a cloudy, cool, sometimes rainy week though, the sun and blue sky were savored for as long as they lasted.  COVID restrictions like masks and spectator check in are still in use, as they should be. We were just happy to be out and about and happy these athletes are having a season this spring.  Ellie ran a PR (personal record) in the 100 meters and a season best in the 200. The relay teams she was on both placed well and the 4 x 400 team ran their best time of the season too. It was a good track meet with good times. Ellie was pleased with her performances and we were pleased to be there to witness them.  I used to live for my ...

Living gratefully today, I generate reverence in my heart for the life and love within me. I give thanks for the people I love and who love me. I deeply appreciate my sense of hearing and the music I love too.   I listen to music in streaks, and I am on a Bee Gees streak lately. Long a fan of some of their oldest songs, one of my favorites is "Massachusetts."  It was released in 1967 and became the first #1 single in the United Kingdom for the group, and sold over 5 million copies worldwide. Like the Bee Gees when they wrote it, I have never even been to the state. After watching the Bee Gees documentary "How Can You Mend a Broken Heart" and learning that the brothers hadn't been there prior to writing the song, it struck me . . . this idea of what inspires us, what sparks a composer of words and music.  With a little further research, Wikipedia tells me:  The song was written in the Regis Hotel, New York City during a tour of the United States. The song was int...

Today I am grateful for conversations with friends and colleagues. They show their courage and vulnerability and it helps me show mine.  There is a kind of tension between the carefree nature and precarious existence that are both embodied by living things. An ant can carry a treasure far heavier than itself back to the colony, or be squished underfoot by a size 10 shoe. Humans can build airplanes that fly 30,000 feet in the air and ride them for thousands of miles, and we can die from a tiny virus.  Our existence is fragile. We would rather not see it that way, but it's true. Maybe it is a truth we need to consider more often. Fragile items and living things are handled with precious care. People deserve precious care, for themselves and one another.  There are many things in the natural world that share this same fragile existence. One became the subject of my poem-a-day poem yesterday: The answer is yes. A person declaring their love for another for the first time. The...

Living gratefully today, I appreciate the sounds and creaks of our house as the hot water heat makes the rounds of our baseboard heaters on a chilly morning. I give thanks for the exhilaration of growing ease where it once was lacking.  I have always had ease with writing. With forming words on the page or screen. Some days they flow freely, other days in fits and starts. But the idea of putting pen to paper has never been a daunting one for me.   Though I often use my computer or phone now to capture words, I also regularly use pen to paper. I like the feeling of pen in hand. The movement across the page. Sometimes I write fast to capture my ideas. Other times more slowly as thoughts emerge.  And I always pretty much write in untidy fashion. I hate to admit it, but there are times I go back to my own writing and may struggle to decipher a word or two. For as much as I love to write, my handwriting leaves a bit to be desired.  This poem came out the other day, a...

Living gratefully today, I appreciate warm blankets on our bed on a chilly night and the meals our son Sam prepares. I give thanks for all of the people who are helping get vaccines into arms around the world.  My husband Darcy and I went for a walk yesterday morning, a gray and chilly start to the day. We noticed an eagle soaring overhead and then perching in a tree in the distance. Eagles are a fairly common sight in our river town, but I still am in awe every time I see one. Majestic and resilient creatures. We almost lost them, and now they thrive.  The eagle stayed perched as we walked on the trail not far from the tree it was in. I took this picture, which only tells part of the connection we shared. We were close enough to see the eagle's eyes as it followed us and surveyed the area.  Eagle eyes. A quick fact check tells me that eagles have some of the strongest eyes of any animal, and that they can see 4 to 8 times farther than humans. Though much smaller in size ...

Today I am grateful for the COVID-19 vaccines available, the efforts to get them to more people worldwide, and that more and more of my loved ones are getting vaccinated. I appreciate the hope that is more evident, and also the efforts that must continue with masks and other healthy choices.  I wrote a post back in May 2014 titled  Vaccine, Antitoxin, and Antiseptic  that looked at vaccines from a different perspective. Here is the bulk of that post: The quote for today in my gratitude journal is: "Gratitude is a vaccine, an antitoxin, and an antiseptic."  (John Henry Jowett) Jowett was an English Congregational pastor in the late 1800's and early 1900's. Such an effective pastor that churches in England and the U.S. practically fought over him. Think of the time he lived in and the vaccines, antitoxins, and antiseptics that weren't even discovered or available yet. A vaccine is an injection to protect against a certain disease. An antitoxin is a substance formed ...

Today I am grateful for comfortable shoes and my feet and toes that help carry me well in those shoes.  As a writer and poet, I appreciate the words and poems of other writers. I try to do some reading every day and the beauty of poems is that they are often short. Short, but packing a real punch of meaning and inspiration, waiting for each reader to dive in.  Questions to Consider When Waking  by Bernadette Miller is part of the poetry collection provided on The Network for Grateful Living website, along with a wealth of other resources, readings, activities and videos. It's a great website. Check it out  here . These lines from the poem spoke especially loud to me as I reread it just now: What would you harvest from heartache and pain if you understood loss as a way to regain the never-forsaken terrain of belonging? The collective loss that has been experienced by humanity since the COVID-19 pandemic started is significant and ranges from lives lost, dreams put on ...

Today I am grateful for sandals, oatmeal, and fellow writers.  I am enjoying the challenge I gave myself for the month of April: write a poem (or more) each day. Here is a haiku I wrote after seeing the shadow of a squirrel. It was running across a telephone wire in our backyard and I noticed the shadow on our neighbor’s house in the morning sun.  Squirrels playful scurrying, less cautious, more curious  live large, despite size  Squirrels entertain me as I observe them. Unless they are digging or chewing where they shouldn't be.  Squirrels will be squirrels, and I do appreciate their propensity for adventure and fun.  I have several blog posts mentioning squirrels. Here is one titled Even Squirrels Have Stories from August 2019. These words below are from that post, resonating even more today in this world where current news is much about the pandemic and the Derek Chauvin trial.  Every person and every living thing has a story. By honoring and tellin...

Living gratefully today, I say thank you to Mother Nature for the amazing weather the last few days, and for my job and the opportunities it presents each working day. A recent "Word for the Day" at www.gratefulness.org reads:  Heartbreak and hope are not mutually exclusive. We can be angry and sad and filled with longing for something we cannot have, and simultaneously we can be grateful for what we’ve got — aware, for reasons we’d never choose, of what really matters and what doesn’t.   ( Lennon Flowers)  It follows nicely from yesterday's post about stark contrasts. It seems, from my vantage point as an American citizen anyway, that my country and our world have become polarized, divisive, so "all or nothing" that common ground is harder to come by.  Lennon Flowers reminds us that we can coexist with our own inner struggles and emotional dichotomies. Consider also that we can coexist as fellow humans. Our stories of heartbreak and hope can become common grou...

Today I am grateful for amazing weather over the weekend and the opportunities to spend time with family in a variety of ways; in person, FaceTime, phone, Zoom.  This Easter Sunday was such a stark contrast to last year's. Let's start with the weather. Last Easter was later on the calendar, April 12, but less like spring.  We had a snowstorm that day. Yesterday, it was pushing 80 degrees in our neck of the woods.  And how about all things COVID-19 pandemic? We are seasoned veterans now, marching through this mess with resilience and more hope than we had a year ago. April 2020 felt so strange and was entirely unprecedented in what was unfolding. Distance learning. Sports seasons cancelled. Stores and restaurants closed. Trying to find the most comfortable masks. Crossing the street when encountering other walkers or runners.  That list could go on for quite some time. Suffice it to say that fear and uncertainty were rampant. We didn't know then how long this would go...

Living gratefully today, I give thanks for getting ice cream at our local ice cream shop for the first time in well over a year, and sharing it with my husband Darcy and grandson Leo.  Pre-pandemic experiences that were once no big deal are taking on a different significance as we return to them. I am returning to this"19 Gratitudes After a Year of COVID-19" list to wrap it up today. Numbers 18 and 19 complement each other, even while they can be a source of discord. Thoughts and words. They bring comfort and connections, unless used harshly, leading to hurt and harm. It is worth mentioning discord and harsh words, because they exemplify one of the ongoing struggles in my life where I have made good progress. From my drinking days, when my thoughts were out to get me most of the time, to more recent midlife muck and mire that had me really stuck in a rut, the words that made up my thoughts weren't healthy or helpful.  Living gratefully, ongoing recovery, plenty of writing...

Today I am grateful for poems; the ones I read from others, and the ones I write myself.  As I return to my list of 19 gratitudes to mark a year of pandemic living, today it's all about letting go. Life is a process of unburdening our burdens. Also known as acceptance. Also known as letting go.   This has always been my struggle. The pandemic has heightened the difficulty in ways, but presented more opportunities to drop rocks from the figurative backpack I carry.  So, here's to letting go:  15. Letting go of my mom as she ages. Fully immersing myself in the moments I have with her helps.  16. Letting go of fear about writing, being or not being good enough, another book getting published. Just keep writing Lisa, just keep writing.  17. Letting go of multitasking and embracing more presence. The flow of life, and this day, is worth noting. It allows for new perspectives and fresh perceptions.  I could launch into examples and deeper explanations o...