Bed of Nails

Today I am grateful for a comfy couch to snuggle on in the early morning hours. I am also grateful for the book Fine Black Lines: Reflections on Facing Cancer, Fear and Loneliness by Lois Tschetter Hjelmstad.

I was first introduced to Lois's writing via a great blog I follow called Nancy's Point (http://nancyspoint.com/) She wrote a guest blog post there, as did I a few weeks later. Her blog post was one I could relate to, being about why she chose not to have breast reconstruction. Lois is a poet, author, speaker, piano teacher, wife (of over 63 years), mother, grandmother. I ordered the book mentioned above and read one zinger of a poem after another. She's my kind of poet. Here is one of those zingers:

Bed of Nails

 

if you lay

a blanket of joy

over everything

 

the spikes keep poking through

 

perhaps it would be better to

flatten the points

first

 

(Excerpted from Fine Black Lines, copyright 1993, 2003 Lois Tschetter Hjelmstad.

Used by permission of the author.)

  http://www.loishjelmstad.com/title/fine-black-lines

 

 

This poem hit me straight on when I read it for the first time, and it continues to do so every time I read it. It speaks to me of what the practice of gratitude is really about and can accomplish. True gratitude can bring joy, and it does bring joy to me in big and small ways on a regular basis. But it doesn't gloss over the pain, it doesn't just throw a blanket of false joy over everything.

Gratitude flattens the points to make them more bearable-the points of pain, disappointment, loss, illness, fear. It hurts but I'm still mobile. I miss him but I so appreciate the time we had together. My submission got rejected, but I'll keep trying because I love to write. Point flattening.

From one poet to another, thank you Lois!