The Words of Carl Rogers

Today I am grateful for both the formal education I have received in my lifetime and the informal education that is day to day living itself.

Dr. Tara Brach's book Radical Acceptance has this quote from Carl Rogers:

"The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change."

I appreciate the quote and the man it came from. Carl Rogers was one of the most influential psychologists of the 20th century and was part of the humanistic psychology movement. I studied his work in both undergraduate and graduate courses I took. I particularly like his idea of "unconditional positive regard." He was referring to working with clients and showing complete support and acceptance of the client, regardless of what they say or do. It was at the heart of his person-centered therapy approach and it is part of my philosophy and approach in my work as a school counselor.

The idea can be expanded to how we view all others in our lives as well as how we view ourselves. I think it resonated with me in college because I didn't feel very accepted, particularly by me.

Radical acceptance and unconditional positive regard. Together they have allowed me to accept myself, then make healthy changes. I had to first come to accept my alcoholism and the damage I was doing to myself physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. When I lived in denial of my problem, I was unwilling to change and unable to see what I could do to change. Acceptance allowed a start on recovery. Daily acceptance continues to be crucial in my life and recovery.

I am deeply grateful to those who taught me about acceptance and showed me unconditional positive regard when I needed it most. I am deeply grateful to those who continue to teach me and show me.

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