Habitual Gratitude

Today I am grateful for the convenience of paper products like paper towels, napkins, toilet paper, and Kleenex. I am also grateful for trees and other resources, the people who make these products, and those who help make them available to me. Today was my dad's birthday. He was born on February 28, 1924. He died on October 23, 1998. The years since his death have passed quickly. Life has gone on and the family he helped start continues to grow. We still miss you Dad. I talked about rushing and slouching yesterday. Dad worked very hard his whole life, but he also was better at slowing down than I tend to be. My memory recollects that he knew when the work needed to be done, but he also knew when it was time to sit down to read the newspaper and doze off in the chair, or play some cards, or watch a ball game. I have the work ethic too, but the slowing down is a continued work in progress. Slouching?  Dad didn't do that intentionally, but his body started making it harder ...

Living gratefully today, I am taking in the sound and beauty of music through my headphones and appreciating my hearing capabilities. One of my favorite authors, speakers, and advocates on the topic of living gratefully is Br. David Steindl-Rast. He founded A Network for Grateful Living in 2000. Check it out at www.gratefulness.org . Here are some of his words: "When I am grateful, I am neither rushing nor slouching through my day -- I'm dancing."   Rushing? That I definitely do, both physically and mentally. But my living gratefully practices help me slow down, help keep me energized for what I have passion for and want to do.  Slouching? I would say I am not a sloucher in the lazy, physically drooping ways. When it comes to emotionally and spiritually slouching though, I can and do. Again, practicing daily gratefulness and seeking some mindful presence each day give me clarity in feelings and faith. They keep me upright and moving forward. Danc...

Today I am grateful for the feel of pen to paper when I am writing just to be writing. I am also grateful for my trusty old jumprope (and I do mean old). "My boys" is my term for my husband Darcy, son Sam, and our dog Oliver. They are my housemates and three loves of my life. Sometimes we are each doing our own thing in various places around the house, and sometimes we are together, enjoying a meal, a brief discussion, or just the same space. With recent weather, snow days, cancellations, changed plans, and so on, we have had more time to share this space and proximity. We have joined together in seasonal tasks like shoveling and roof raking that have been necessary. Oliver's trips outside have been shorter in the bitter cold and deep snow. We are all feeling a little restless, a little stir-crazy at times. Still, I am content here with my boys. I relish this time together as Sam heads closer to graduation and Oliver ages. These are moments to treasure and capture ...

Living gratefully, a day at a time, I acknowledge the grace and gift of ongoing recovery from alcoholism. I also appreciated the sunshine and blue skies yesterday, in spite of the cold wind. One day at a time. The last words of my post yesterday become some of the first words of my post today. It is a phrase heard often among recovering alcoholics and addicts. It is at the heart of staying on track in sobriety and getting to quality recovery. Never drink again? Yikes! Don't drink today? I think I can make it. And once the urge to drink lessens, the ODAT wisdom can be, should be, applied to daily living. Not drinking is just a start. My drinking was a symptom of my thinking and living problems. The alcohol is gone, the "ism" is still there. I need regular reminders to keep recovery a priority. Complacency is dangerous to people like me, so I have a healthy fear of it.  Just like my efforts to live gratefully, my efforts to live in recovery are daily. That is as impor...

Today I am grateful for the warmth and security of our home, as wind and cold batter the outer walls. I send thoughts and prayers out to those who struggle to find shelter, especially in the winter. It has become my tradition to mark every 100 blog posts here. I missed the most recent marker, 2100, a few days ago. Today is actually going to be post #2103 when I hit publish. I'm not bothered that I missed it. It's actually reassuring. I'm going about my business of living gratefully and writing regularly. The actions and intentions matter more than numbers. Each century mark I hit is a minor milestone. I think more of the significant milestones that have come my way in the nearly seven years I have been blogging. Milestones like being a contented writer, coming face to face with my ego and then settling it in to a more right-sized state on many days, increased awareness, attention, and peace. Writing about gratefulness is key to me living gratefully. It started with m...

Today I am grateful for public services like police and fire protection, garbage and snow removal. I am also grateful for eggs and the many ways to enjoy them as sustenance. In my job setting, working with middle school students, I will say things like "there aren't bad kids, just kids who sometimes make poor choices." It is really at the heart of my counseling philosophy. People are generally good and when obstacles get in the way of that, how can we help break through those obstacles? It is my life philosophy too. Find the good and build on it. Create good energy and share it. Does this sound oversimplified? Explain that to me then.  Believe me, day in and day out, I'm not saying it is an easy endeavor, but it is possible. So this quote struck a chord with me: "Whoever believes in the good in people, draws forth the good in people."  (Jean Paul)  Draw forth the good in others, in ourselves, in the world around us. I sometimes find it hardest t...

Living gratefully in this moment, I am feeling spiritual connection to the new day and to loved ones across the miles. I had the opportunity to hear author Diane Davies read her latest book Jeannie Ann's Grandma Has Breast Cancer  the other day at a book launch party. It was so nice to see Diane and a few others from our local breast cancer support group. These ladies are friends and evidence of silver linings that come from life's tough times. BC brought us together over ten years ago. Diane merges her roles and experience as an educator, writer, breast cancer survivor, and grandma to write a wonderful and informative-in-the-right-ways children's book.  It is candid enough, broaches the significant topics that can come up with a BC diagnosis, while being age-appropriate and downright sweet. The illustrations by CA Nobens clinch the book's appeal.  It touches the heart of young and old. Did that just sound like a positive book review?  It is! Check it out...

Today I am grateful for my mom Gertrude, her life and legacy. She has been part of creating many living things over the years, from her children to her gardens, and much more. Mom's memory continues to fade, and I have such sadness and mixed emotions about that. It is hard to put into words, but wistful and loss come to mind. I wonder what it is like for her. There are lucid times and memories, and there are days when she asks several times what day of the week it is. The truth of the matter for her is that on most days it doesn't much matter what day of the week it is. There is a sort of freedom in that, but I don't know if it feels that way to her and other elderly people. It was nice to gather this weekend and gather around Mom at the nursing home, share some time together, and then share some cake. The weather kept our family representation smaller than it would have been, but we still filled several tables and sang birthday wishes to Mom. See what you and Dad start...

Living gratefully today, I am noticing the peace and quiet of early morning and how it is absorbed into me when I sit, fully present, for a moment. It is a good way to start the day. Experiences, new and old, are the stuff of life. This weekend included the new experiences of snowshoeing with my sisters Zita and Ruth and my husband Darcy. Ruth had the idea and it was something we had always wanted to try. Beautiful weather and one of several scenic parks in Decorah, Iowa greeted us. We had a pleasant time working some different muscle groups while enjoying the fresh air, sunshine, and each other’s company. I would definitely snowshoe again. A new way for me to play in the snow, in a year where "play" is my focus word. That evening, we enjoyed the new experience of one of the local breweries and the nostalgia of a long table and benches as 14 of us taste tested both beverages and food. Darcy and I were joined by six of my siblings and their spouses. I treasure these time...

Living gratefully today, I appreciate the rest I got last night and the different pace my work day will hold today. Expectations can be problematic for me. They have been called premeditated resentments, not to mention a waste of good energy. I am not talking about reasonable expectations, like my car starting and the electricity in our house working. I am speaking of the more dangerous, unreasonable variety of expectations. The kind fed by ego, impatience, fear. Things like expecting to get a certain amount of things done in a day. Or the kind that involve other people, places, and things which I have no control over. Add my swirling mind and sensitive emotions and trouble brews. Peace is lost. Serenity goes out the window. So I really appreciate this quote: "When we release expectation and experience appreciation, all the moments  of our lives  become  openings and opportunities."  Kristi Nelson Kristi Nelson is the Executiv...

Today I am grateful for my husband Darcy, our marriage, and the life we have built together through the joyful times and the challenging ones too. I love you dear! Valentine's Day can be a tough day for many, and it often was for me back in my teens and twenties. It can be a day full of expectations, or regrets, or deficits. And it can be a big disappointment or a painful reminder of what is missing in life. With my work in recovery, and the unconditional love and support of others on the same journey, as well as caring friends and family, by the time I hit 30, I had a broader view of this day. Thanks also to the gratitude practice I was just getting into, I realized that I am surrounded by love and support. And that is worth acknowledging every day, not just on a day like this. Had I found a mate and marriage yet? No. But I came to embrace the idea that my life was full and rich as is, not lacking.  I expected less and accepted more. I was healthier and had more to bring to ...

Living gratefully today, I am absorbing the idea that I already have enough and more. It starts in my home and builds from there. Speaking of my home, although it isn't my dream house, I really appreciate so many things about it. Our kitchen alone is loaded with blessings. The percolator that made my morning coffee. The refrigerator, stove, microwave, toaster, crock pot, favorite pots and pans all make meals easy to have on hand and prepare.  I could stop there, that is blessing enough. But our kitchen also has a couple of pieces of artwork that are good reminders to me. One includes a nature scene and the word "peace." There is sometimes discord in our home--no one agrees 100% of the time. But peace abides here far more. Another says "The only way to finish is to start." We got that as running motivation and inspiration, but it can be applied to much more than running. For instance, to finish my day well, it helps to start it well. I start it well when I...

Today I am grateful for the sturdy steps between the levels of our home, and for my current gratitude journal, a gift from my friend Dorothy. The "Daily Question" at gratefulness.org yesterday was "How can I improve my capacity to be present?"  That was a fitting question for me to carry with me into my day.  The days and my schedule have been full. The weather has thrown a wrench in at times. My personal and professional pursuits keep me hopping, and in many good ways. But I can spin. I can get overly busy, overly exhausted, and I can lose sight of the simplicity and peace available in the present moment. I get caught up, and then I lose out. As my sister Aileen says, she tries to "be where my hands are." Sometimes I pause, put my arms at my sides and, with hands palm down, say "right here, right now." It also tells me to focus on what my hands may be doing. Typing. Preparing food. Driving. Shoveling. Feeding our dog. Presence brings a s...

Living gratefully in this moment, I am taking in the music my ears can hear and also the kind only my heart can hear. Speaking of music, Dolly Parton was honored last evening at the Grammys as the "MusiCares Person of the Year" for her charity work with her literacy program Imagination Library . I saw a brief clip of her on CBS Sunday Morning yesterday, and in that short clip I gleaned these two nuggets: "I count my blessings more than I count my money." She's got way more money to count than I do, but we are both rich in blessings. The only person I need to convince of my blessings is me. It's not a contest. And her humble humor regarding one of the 3,000 songs that she has composed- "I Will Always Love You." Many remember the chart-topping version of the song in 1992, by the late Whitney Houston. Parton is the songwriter and composer who first released it in 1974, when it also topped the country charts. Asked if it bothered her that many th...

Today I am grateful for an entertaining dinner theater production last evening through our local theater company, and for the nice conversation Darcy and I shared with the others at our table. It was Black Dirt Theater's production of "Savannah Sipping Society." The four women in it were wonderful and the laughs plentiful! Thank you! Our son Sam took the ACT test yesterday for the first time. He was well-prepared, in my opinion, by the advanced and rigorous curriculum he has had. He felt pretty good about how things went and isn't one to get overly worked up about it. I so appreciate that about him. My hope is that his score is sufficient for the schools and scholarships he is looking at. This ACT originally was an acronym for American College Testing and is one of the common college entrance exams students take in the U.S. Another A.C.T. that comes to my mind is this acronym that stands for Acknowledge. Care. Tell. This is the short version of the suicide preve...

Today I am grateful for my abilities to read and write and the wonderful world of vocabulary. They all help me as a writer and as a person striving to describe life as it unfolds. The title of my post today is also the "Daily Question" from the Practice Space at gratefulness.org What blessings does nature offer my life? *the changing seasons that come along just when needed *the blessings of each of those seasons *like the beautiful artistry of snow on the pine trees after recent snowfalls this week *the appreciation of a wardrobe that allows me to be properly attired in whatever the elements are *how nature alerts and heightens each of my five senses in various ways *the intake of fresh air that helps me feel more fully alive *stepping out into a wider world that helps me feel both humbled and connected Those are just the first few that rattled out of my brain as I considered the question. I am and always have been a nature lover and respecter.  It is a suref...

Living gratefully today, I appreciate my five senses, and especially my sense of taste as I enjoy some nourishment this morning. The sounds and silence of snow is what I am pondering this morning. We continue with an active weather pattern, so this morning it was a coating of snow with some light freezing drizzle on top that greeted Oliver and I on our walk. There was a louder crunching sound as we walked. If it is just snow, the sound is more soft and muted. The nuances of snow and sound. There have been plenty of rounds of the sounds of snowplows, snowblowers, and shovels in the recent weeks and days as well. The sounds of winter and snow. One of my favorite sounds of snow is the sound of silence. The lack of sound when snow is falling gently to the ground. I love walking out in it, pausing to enjoy the calm awe of being surrounded by snowflakes and stillness. It is one of the times I feel a deep connection to the natural world. Silence in the snow. Silence in some meditation...

Today I am grateful for my physical body and the resilience it has. I am also grateful for snow shovels and some evening shoveling alongside my husband Darcy. “God’s sense of humor.” Call it what you will, but cosmic comedy plays out in our lives regularly.  Usually when it comes around is when I am not particularly in the mood for it. Which is to say that it comes along just when I most need it. There have been a couple of instances early in this week that have had me saying "Yeah, I get it. You're right. I can do this. Thanks for the reminders!" One was my fall yesterday morning and the ironic timing of it. The others were two different times I was surrounded by sweet treats, which I love, but chose to decline because of efforts to eat better and cleanse my system. Where there is humor, it seems there is often grace as well. Grace abounds. I just don't always notice it or call it that. I was feeling the grace yesterday after I slipped on the ice. Right away, I...

Living gratefully today, I paused to relish in the simple calming effect of breathing in and breathing out. I also appreciate the fellow recovering people I am connected with and how they help me live in 24-hour segments. We have had a roller coaster of weather in recent days, and it has left behind ice on some roads, sidewalks, and trails, along with a little coating of snow. That makes for treacherous walking and  driving in certain areas. There is also more snow and "wintry mix" potential for our neck of the woods this week. It's a good time to remember the suggestion to take "penguin steps."  Keep your center of gravity over your front leg and take small steps. Here's a nice graphic from the "Today" show to illustrate this: It is sound advice in these conditions, and I certainly try to use it. I don't want a fall that could be jarring and bruising or cause an injury that would keep me from running or worse. It serves as a reminde...

Today I appreciate that we had safe travels over the weekend and a nice visit with our family. I also appreciate the food choices I have. As we started our trip on Saturday morning, we were treated to a beautiful sunrise. I took a few moments to fully view the coming day. It was partly cloudy and there had been about a 60-degree temperature turnaround from the coldest wind chills of midweek. Pink and orange played together and the giant sun emerged. I appreciated that my husband was driving and I could just sit and take it in as we drove east, enjoying coffee that someone else made. Most days, the sunrise doesn't get my full attention for that long. It's a good goal though. Later in our trip, when it was my turn to do some driving, I took a minute to focus on my hands on the steering wheel, the engine humming reliably, the brake and accelerator pedals at my feet. During our visit, I paused to notice the variety of playful and inquisitive faces made by our grandson Aaron...

Today I am grateful for books that are worth rereading and for warmer temperatures returning. And by warmer I mean that it is supposed to get above zero today. After nearly 30 below with 50+ below wind chills, it already felt "warmer" yesterday afternoon when I walked in calm, single digit subzero temps. This morning, as I swept away a little nuisance snow after walking our dog, I realized I had overdressed. It's all relative. The same holds true for much in life. I can be surrounded by a multitude of blessings, by plentitude, and still feel I am living in scarcity. It depends on my mindset and where my focus is. Is there more I want out of life?  Sure. Is there much I am already feeling deep appreciation for and likewise caring for?  Absolutely! We can train our brains to look for what we want it to find. We each have a natural propensity for optimism or pessimism, but we can still work to shift it from often feeling in need to often feeling content. I believe ...