100% Listener
Today I am grateful for my friends Claire and Liz from our local breast cancer support group. I am also grateful for the continued motivation I have to keep blogging.
Here are some more words of wisdom from Mark Nepo:
"Listening is being completely present to whatever is before us with all of who we are."
Like letter writing, I fear that listening is becoming something of a lost art. We are too busy, too surrounded by distractions, too tuned in to too many electronic devices. I can be as guilty as the next person of not being a 100% listener. But I do try and I do work in a profession that allows me ample opportunities to be a better listener with students, parents, colleagues.
Though important in my job, listening is more crucial to me in my closest relationships with family and friends. My rapt attention is the greatest gift I can give another person. No amount of money can purchase that. I know how I feel when I think I am not being listened to. I try not to do that to others. Like gratitude, listening takes practice and effort. And being pushed beyond our comfort level at times. The payoffs in healthier, more compassionate relationships and fewer misunderstandings are worth it.
Both practices start at the same place; being present in the moment, being aware of now and here.
Which makes now a good time to mention another quote from Mark Nepo:
"When feeling urgent, you must slow down."
Amen! But just how does one do that? Breathe. Recognize the speeding train you are engineering needs a brake and a break. It's good advice for listening too. So often we want to pipe in with a suggestion or our own stuff when someone else is sharing. That sense of urgency becomes apparent to the other person and they might stop talking or let us jump in when they really just needed us to keep listening. Listening is valuable in and of itself. Fixing is not required. Patient and kind listening is helpful enough.
Today I will strive to be a patient and kind listener.
Here are some more words of wisdom from Mark Nepo:
"Listening is being completely present to whatever is before us with all of who we are."
Like letter writing, I fear that listening is becoming something of a lost art. We are too busy, too surrounded by distractions, too tuned in to too many electronic devices. I can be as guilty as the next person of not being a 100% listener. But I do try and I do work in a profession that allows me ample opportunities to be a better listener with students, parents, colleagues.
Though important in my job, listening is more crucial to me in my closest relationships with family and friends. My rapt attention is the greatest gift I can give another person. No amount of money can purchase that. I know how I feel when I think I am not being listened to. I try not to do that to others. Like gratitude, listening takes practice and effort. And being pushed beyond our comfort level at times. The payoffs in healthier, more compassionate relationships and fewer misunderstandings are worth it.
Both practices start at the same place; being present in the moment, being aware of now and here.
Which makes now a good time to mention another quote from Mark Nepo:
"When feeling urgent, you must slow down."
Amen! But just how does one do that? Breathe. Recognize the speeding train you are engineering needs a brake and a break. It's good advice for listening too. So often we want to pipe in with a suggestion or our own stuff when someone else is sharing. That sense of urgency becomes apparent to the other person and they might stop talking or let us jump in when they really just needed us to keep listening. Listening is valuable in and of itself. Fixing is not required. Patient and kind listening is helpful enough.
Today I will strive to be a patient and kind listener.
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