To Mark or Not to Mark
Today I am grateful for an early morning bike ride and the beauty of low fog over green fields. I am also grateful for the family room in our house, but I will save the details on that until tomorrow.
Yesterday was one of my cancer anniversaries. I remember dates pretty well, but we've been busy and I didn't put much thought into it until it arrived. July 17, 2008 was the date of the first of three surgeries to address cancer in my right breast. It was a lumpectomy with a sentinel node biopsy.Five years ago. D-day was May 29 and my first surgery was July 17. The weeks between were several of the most difficult weeks of my life. More difficult in ways than the weeks of chemotherapy and side effects. More difficult in ways than recovering from the third of the three surgeries-bilateral mastectomies.
Those weeks were so difficult because the fear of the unknown gripped me. I had cancer in my body but we didn't know if it had spread and we didn't know the pathology of the tumor, which would dictate treatment protocol. "The waiting is the hardest part" was never truer. Huge relief when I came out of that surgery and found out that the sentinel node was clean and the invasive tumor had been removed with clean margins around it.
I considered whether or not to mention this anniversary, this date. Maybe I would just let it pass quietly. But this is a blog about gratitude isn't it? I am so grateful to be here, healthy and able-bodied, five years later. I am so grateful that I know I can face one of my worst fears (cancer) and make it through with wonderful support from many. I am grateful for the perspective that you can only gain from facing difficult challenges.
I decided to mark this date. To give it some blog space. But today, July 18, 2013, is the day that matters most now.
If you haven't done the gratitude exercise I mentioned in yesterday's post, I encourage you to give it a try. I will talk about my room of choice tomorrow. Thanks for being there!
Yesterday was one of my cancer anniversaries. I remember dates pretty well, but we've been busy and I didn't put much thought into it until it arrived. July 17, 2008 was the date of the first of three surgeries to address cancer in my right breast. It was a lumpectomy with a sentinel node biopsy.Five years ago. D-day was May 29 and my first surgery was July 17. The weeks between were several of the most difficult weeks of my life. More difficult in ways than the weeks of chemotherapy and side effects. More difficult in ways than recovering from the third of the three surgeries-bilateral mastectomies.
Those weeks were so difficult because the fear of the unknown gripped me. I had cancer in my body but we didn't know if it had spread and we didn't know the pathology of the tumor, which would dictate treatment protocol. "The waiting is the hardest part" was never truer. Huge relief when I came out of that surgery and found out that the sentinel node was clean and the invasive tumor had been removed with clean margins around it.
I considered whether or not to mention this anniversary, this date. Maybe I would just let it pass quietly. But this is a blog about gratitude isn't it? I am so grateful to be here, healthy and able-bodied, five years later. I am so grateful that I know I can face one of my worst fears (cancer) and make it through with wonderful support from many. I am grateful for the perspective that you can only gain from facing difficult challenges.
I decided to mark this date. To give it some blog space. But today, July 18, 2013, is the day that matters most now.
If you haven't done the gratitude exercise I mentioned in yesterday's post, I encourage you to give it a try. I will talk about my room of choice tomorrow. Thanks for being there!
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