Habitual Gratitude

Today I am grateful for "good enough" stepping in to push overdoing and perfectionism out of the way. It is liberating and I have more to learn about it.  I also continue to learn more about the richness of gratefulness and concepts like  Tragic Optimism  that I write about earlier this week. I encourage you to read the Atlantic article "The Opposite of Toxic Positivity" linked in that post, or re-read it.   The article also includes reference to and a quote from Kristi Nelson, Executive Director of A Network for Grateful Living , one of my favorite websites for reading and practices surrounding gratefulness.  I especially like what she says about the human tendency to forget previous suffering and get complacent in our present circumstances. It is one of the reasons I need to make grateful living practices part of my daily routine. The term "existential gratitude" is also mentioned in the article and is similar to tragic optimism. It means being grate...

Tragic optimism: the search for meaning during the inevitable tragedies of human existence.  This phrase was coined by psychologist and Holocaust survivor Viktor Frankl and is discussed in this mid-August article from The Atlantic:   The Opposite of Toxic Positivity The summary of the article reads:  Countless books have been written on the “power of gratitude” and the importance of counting your blessings, but that sentiment may feel like cold comfort during the coronavirus pandemic, when blessings have often seemed scant. Refusing to look at life’s darkness and avoiding uncomfortable experiences can be detrimental to mental health. This “toxic positivity” is ultimately a denial of reality. Telling someone to “stay positive” in the middle of a global crisis is missing out on an opportunity for growth, not to mention likely to backfire and only make them feel worse. As the gratitude researcher Robert Emmons of UC Davis writes, “To deny that life has its share of disappoin...

Today I am grateful for shared conversation and quiet as my family and I enjoyed a backyard fire last evening, and the meal prepared by my son Sam and appreciated by each of us.  As I joined a few others in watching this video the other evening, it inspired this poem:  I encourage you to watch the video, titled "We are all Human--Be Kind." It is under 8 minutes long. I caution that neither you nor I let ourselves off the hook either. Whether you have ignored a homeless person or crossed the street to avoid someone who looked unstable--I have done both--it is really in our day-to-day connections that we do the most harm.  Is there a family member, friend, colleague, or student I ignore when it is convenient for me? When I don't have the energy? Is there a situation I avoid because I feel shame, fear, or because I don't know what to do? Do I take the easy way out?  These are all tough questions, and rigorous honesty reveals that I have fallen short when it comes to re...

Word for the Day  The more we are steeped in gratefulness,  the more it absorbs  us until we start to radiate it from within. Tim Roberts  Steeped: surrounded or filled with a quality or influence. Gratefulness: acknowledgment of having received something good from another. That is how Oxford and Merriam-Webster define these words. I would rather be steeped in peace and gratefulness than stress and discontent. I would rather be steeped in awe than cynicism.   It's not a constant though. Each day tends to have ups and downs. My emotions and thoughts will sometimes soothe me and sometimes agitate me. Either way, they are to be honored and heard.  Don't let Merriam-Webster's definition of "something good from another" limit you. I don't believe that is referring only to other people. For me, another can be Higher Power or Mother Nature in an all-encompassing sense. It can also mean our dog Oliver or the tall grass swaying in the breeze or the faucet that ...

Today I am grateful for the peace of morning quiet and for my physical capabilities and energy.  As I recently mentioned, looking up at the sky when I step outside is one of my gratefulness practices. We can sky watch from indoors too, but we seem to get the fuller effect when the vastness isn't limited by a ceiling or roof. I can feel the presence of Higher Power and a more boundless energy when I stand as part of that vastness.  I took both of these pictures in recent weeks. This first picture was taken from inside a vehicle. That's my reflection you see in the mirror. I've never been in a hot air balloon, but they are sure intriguing to watch and colorful to see. Being afraid of heights, especially open air like these are, I don't know that I will pursue a hot air balloon ride. But I appreciated the view and floating color of this one.  It was close enough that we could see people in it. I wondered if they were veterans or out for the first time, or somewhere in betw...

Building on ideas shared in my post on September 15,  It Takes More Than "An Attitude of Gratitude" , here are some more tools I have in my living gratefully toolkit. Tool implies that it takes effort. It does. It also implies that something is being built or created. It is. The effort is fruitful and the structure beautiful and stable.  1. Meditation practices. I try to do a daily guided meditation, usually in the 10-15 minute range.  Insight Timer  is a great free app that I use. I can search over 100,000 meditation tracks by teacher, length, topic.  This practice tunes me into my breath and body, and sets me up for less cluttered thinking.  2. Besides looking up to the sky when I step outside, I also tune into my senses. What am I smelling, hearing, seeing?  It's always a buffet of sensory delights and reminders of one kind or another. Sometimes on a walk I will tune in to one sense especially and really focus on what I can pick up. Our senses are a...

Today I am grateful for this blog and how it has taught me to honor writing time regularly. And for all it has taught me about myself. Writing has a way of revealing us to ourselves.  This is a post I wrote six years ago today, on September 17, 2015. It is titled: Understanding What I Am  Here is a thought-provoking quote: "If you begin to understand what you are without trying to change it, then what you are undergoes a transformation."  (Jiddu Krishnamurti) If you have read my blog for any amount of time, you know I appreciate words that help me reflect and encapsulate what gratitude practice does for me. This quote does that. Gratitude practice has helped me see the good in myself and others much more readily. It helps me feel like I am enough, as is. The world around me is enough, as is. In this moment, in this day.  Less time spent chasing the illusion of perfection and things outside of myself means more time exploring and accepting who I am. Change does i...