Habitual Gratitude

Today I am grateful for blessings that surround me and a better awareness of their presence. I am also grateful for my husband Darcy and our talks. With some purchases we have made in recent weeks, we have had more styrofoam packaging to deal with. It got me thinking about styrofoam in ways I never really had. Styrofoam is not healthy for the environment and arguably not for us either. Styrofoam is actually a brand name for polystyrene, which is made from petroleum. It's a nuisance to get rid of styrofoam. It's not easy to find a place to recycle it. Though it is light, it takes up plenty of space. You can't crush it or break it down, and if you try, it makes a mess. Yet, styrofoam performs an important job. It is quite effective at protecting fragile items in transit or keeping a beverage warm or cold. Styrofoam is lightweight and convenient, but is it worth it? It comes with a heavy environmental price tag. Then there is the styrofoam of life. Are there times I ne...

Today I am grateful for trusted service providers our community has and for the lessons of letting go. Speaking of letting go, I was talking with some fellow recovering people the other day on the topic of control. That's a doozy. Pretty much the opposite of letting go. The consensus: we sure couldn't control our drinking, but we tried pretty hard to control everything else. These two acrostics came to mind; the first about unhealthy control, the second about healthy control: C=compulsive O=obsessive N=neurotic T=tyrannical R=restless O=oblivious L=lacking C=compassionate O=observant N=noticing T=teachable R=rational O=open-minded L=loving Unhealthy control is about trying to manipulate others, outcomes, situations. It is all those things above in the first acrostic, but especially makes me oblivious to other people and their feelings and leaves me lacking any sense of peace and serenity. Healthy control is all of those things in the second ac...

Today I am grateful for my recovery friends and the wisdom they share. I am also grateful for a relaxing Sunday afternoon yesterday. I wanted to spend one more blog post discussing the work and words of Dr. Tara Brach from her book Radical Acceptance . You can read more about her work on her website here . Along with acceptance, Brach talks a lot about pausing. She calls it the "sacred pause." I like that. Sacred. To be honored. She calls it the first step in learning radical acceptance. It makes sense that we can't accept what we aren't aware of, what we aren't noticing. She also uses the term "temporary disengagement." Always being engaged may, on the surface, sound like a good thing. But is it? How can we gain perspective, get refreshed and rejuvenated, learn from our current circumstances, if we don't temporarily pause, stop, slow down?  Always being engaged is like always driving with the gas pedal to the floor. It's unsafe, blows the ...

Today I am grateful for the many steps I took yesterday as I ran, walked, cleaned, shopped. Being able to put one foot in front of the other is a gift. I am also grateful for emotions shown by others, real and raw. They are gifts of another kind. Admittedly, my post title today probably attracts more attention than some of my post titles. But it wasn't an attention-seeking ploy. When it comes to acceptance, breasts and alcohol are two areas I need plenty of it. Ongoing. That's the thing about acceptance. I needed it yesterday. I need it today. I will need it tomorrow. If I want to live with some peace and serenity anyway. There's a reason why Tara Brach calls it radical acceptance. The other day I was heading down the road from our house on the way to the store. I drove past a woman running on the trail. I noticed her breasts and had a pang of grief for the loss of my own breasts. I can now go weeks without such pangs, but they haven't gone away. I suspect they neve...

Today I am grateful for both the formal education I have received in my lifetime and the informal education that is day to day living itself. Dr. Tara Brach's book Radical Acceptance has this quote from Carl Rogers: "The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change." I appreciate the quote and the man it came from. Carl Rogers was one of the most influential psychologists of the 20th century and was part of the humanistic psychology movement. I studied his work in both undergraduate and graduate courses I took. I particularly like his idea of "unconditional positive regard." He was referring to working with clients and showing complete support and acceptance of the client, regardless of what they say or do. It was at the heart of his person-centered therapy approach and it is part of my philosophy and approach in my work as a school counselor. The idea can be expanded to how we view all others in our lives as well as how ...

Today I am grateful for prayers and mantras that bring me peace and presence. I am also grateful for the smell of coffee brewing. A few weeks ago I read a thought-provoking book titled  Radical Acceptance by Dr. Tara Brach. My sister recommended it, and with a title like that I was happy to dive in. I meant to blog about it sooner, but other posts kept coming up and wanting to be written about. Luckily, it's never too late to write about a book that leaves us thinking. Dr. Brach is a clinical psychologist and a Buddhist lay priest. She teaches mindfulness meditation. There was a time in my life where acceptance seemed like a radical idea and one I struggled with. If I simply accepted life, how would I grow and improve and save the world and myself in the process? How would I show my worthiness and value if I just took things as they came? I didn't have a clue as to what healthy acceptance even meant. I at least have more of a clue today. I at least unders...

Today I am grateful for air to breathe and a roof over my head on a rainy day. I know. I know. Yesterday it was simple, but not easy. Today it is as easy as 1, 2, 3. On most days, finding things to be grateful for is truly easy for me. I have developed, through habitual practice and application, a way of looking at life that points out the gifts around me. You can call it "an attitude of gratitude" but to me it is more readily known as paying attention. As easy as 1, 2, 3 today means being grateful for the three males I live with: my husband Darcy, our son Sam, and our dog Oliver. I love Darcy for many reasons, not the least of which is the fact that he puts up with me. That is not always an easy task for those closest to me. I love that we share common goals and have similar wishes for our future. I love Sam because he teaches me so much about being a nurturing and patient mom. I am proud of him for becoming his own person with a unique personality. I am hum...