Think Less Harshly
Today I am grateful for the true friends I am blessed with and for what writing has taught me.
As I gave focus to living in the now and seeking to feel more fully and think less harshly in recent days, I recalled some of my own harshest thinking and writing. I lived in this inhospitable place in my head for several years when I was an active alcoholic and in early recovery. I still visit there, but I don't pack a suitcase and I try not to stay long.
My enemy brain plots against me regularly, and especially when I let my guard down. This enemy brain is my alcoholic mind, minus the alcohol. Alcohol is a symptom of the true problem, I believe, for alcoholics. The true problem is the way I think when I am full of fear and ego. When I don't have spiritual fitness.
The writing that poured out of me at that time in my life was truly life-saving. If it hadn't come out, I may not have survived. Here is an example, a poem titled "Self-Hate." I wrote it when I was twenty years old, attempting to quit drinking on my own. I wasn't drunk. I may have been sober. But I wasn't recovering yet.
As I gave focus to living in the now and seeking to feel more fully and think less harshly in recent days, I recalled some of my own harshest thinking and writing. I lived in this inhospitable place in my head for several years when I was an active alcoholic and in early recovery. I still visit there, but I don't pack a suitcase and I try not to stay long.
My enemy brain plots against me regularly, and especially when I let my guard down. This enemy brain is my alcoholic mind, minus the alcohol. Alcohol is a symptom of the true problem, I believe, for alcoholics. The true problem is the way I think when I am full of fear and ego. When I don't have spiritual fitness.
The writing that poured out of me at that time in my life was truly life-saving. If it hadn't come out, I may not have survived. Here is an example, a poem titled "Self-Hate." I wrote it when I was twenty years old, attempting to quit drinking on my own. I wasn't drunk. I may have been sober. But I wasn't recovering yet.
I have saved every poem I have ever written. Some are full of joy and to read them helps me feel again the wonderful emotions I was feeling when I wrote it. Others, like this one, are full of pain. To read them again is a necessary reminder of where I was then, but not a reminder I need often. If I immerse myself in too much of this past pain, I start reverting. No need for that.
For today, I gratefully write from the kinder, gentler brain that I have, the less harsh thoughts of myself. Living gratefully and sharing that gratitude are key actions for me, today and every day.
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