Heaviness

Today I am grateful for early morning conversation and coffee with my husband Darcy, and for time with our grandson Leo at our local community celebration.

It was fun to park the car, walk hand in hand with Leo in the middle, and take in the sights and sounds of the small carnival that had been set up along the river.  The three of us enjoyed a little kiddie ride together, after Leo gave a thumbs down to a couple of other rides that looked "too scary."

I appreciated that time yesterday afternoon. But the word on my mind this morning is heaviness. It has been lurking more recently. My sister's advanced cancer diagnosis and my mom's declining health are significant reasons for that heaviness. There are other concerns and worries for people I care about, as well as some of my own emotional sorting out to do.

This type of heaviness doesn't come and go easily. It needs to be sat with and given time, talked about, written about. The emotions need to be fully acknowledged and felt. Somewhere in that process, we realize that the heaviness has lifted some, at least enough for us to find hope, energy to proceed.

So as I consider heaviness today, I think about it in other ways as well. The heaviness of hot and humid air and how it drains us. And then the welcome relief of a cool breeze. The heaviness of my legs at around mile 15 of an 18-mile training run, and pushing through that to enjoy the exhilaration of being done.

And I circle back to Leo. There is nothing heavy about this little guy. He is of slight build and easy to pick up if needed. His attitude is light. Taking in his surroundings, asking questions, relishing turning the steering wheel on the ride he is enjoying.

His lightness helps lift some of the heaviness.

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