Xenial

Today I am grateful for the love I have in my life on this Valentine's Day, from the love I share with others to love of self. I am also grateful for acceptance.

Xenial is a word I don't think I have heard of before. It means hospitable, especially to visiting strangers or foreigners; or the relation between a host and guest; friendly. It seems like a nice word. Maybe we should use it more often. Or at least be xenial more often.

I would like to think that I am kind to strangers out in the general public. I greet people, hold doors, wait my turn, that sort of thing. But sometimes I can be deep in thought, or tired, or feeling rather crabby. It may have nothing to do with the other person, but I might appear less than xenial. I guess it is about being aware and noticing. That sounds just like gratitude practice.

I would also like to think I am friendly to everyone I encounter. I greet students in the halls at school. I smile often. I muster a "good morning" or "have a good evening" for a colleague or parent I pass in those same halls, even when I would rather just keep moving, or when my energy is too low and I think I have nothing left to give. But being xenial seems to be energizing. Bingo! There's another way it is similar to gratitude practice.

Sometimes the toughest place to be xenial is in my own home. Home is where we let our guard down and social constraints are lowered. These are good things, and can bring out the best in us. But also the worst. I guess I should think about the word hospitable. I want to be hospitable to strangers, but it is more important to be hospitable with those who make regular appearances in my life. That includes being hospitable with myself . . . in my thoughts, in my actions. Gratitude practice creates a xenial environment in and around me.

Have a nice Valentine's Day!

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