Sobriety

Today I am grateful for a nice walk, first with my husband and then my son on a sunny, warmer day here. (Warmer means it made it over 20 degrees.) I am also grateful for peanut butter. It goes so well with so many things.

I return to the trip through the alphabet with a second "s" word: sobriety. Sobriety is defined by Merriam-Webster as the state of not being drunk, the quality of being serious. I prefer to refine that definition. For a recovering alcoholic like me, it is more than not being drunk, it is not consuming any alcohol at all. (Honestly, if I couldn't drink to get drunk, I didn't even want to start.) And though I strongly agree that sobriety is serious business, it doesn't mean it can't be fun and enjoyable. It is fun and enjoyable, and has the added benefit of no hangover.

Do I always feel like it is fun and enjoyable? No. But I do most of the time, and when I need a fix I can turn to the endorphins that exercise and chocolate can provide. Sobriety is also work, but daily work for a daily disease is doable.

I had my last drink of beverage alcohol on September 3, 1989. It was beer, though I couldn't tell you what kind it was. My physical sobriety started the next morning. Physical sobriety comes quickly. It is important and necessary, but I have found that I have needed to work harder to maintain my emotional sobriety.

Emotional sobriety is about making choices in my thoughts, words, and actions that won't bring harm to others or myself. The type of harm we are talking about here is usually emotional pain, frustration, hurt feelings. I get in my own way and then I lash out. Emotional sobriety is about acceptance and keeping my ego right-sized. Then I tend to be more loving and tolerant. I needed help to get started on my physical sobriety. Thanks to those who shared their concerns in the years, months, and weeks before I quit.

I need help to continue with sobriety. The help is there if I but seek it. For that, I am truly grateful.
 
 

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