Intuition and Intensity
Today I am grateful for so many abilities and capabilities I take for granted much of the time. Things like being able to breathe, eat, walk, drink, use my hands and fingers. The list goes on. I am also grateful for intuition that I can trust today.
Active alcoholics and addicts don't tend to trust their intuition. Their addiction fools them into trusting their substance of choice more than themselves, at least some of the time. Healthy hunches, true instinct, good sense are possible in recovery. They take some time to find or find back, but they do come. And they are true gifts.
Another "I" word on my mind is intensity. The intensity of the negative feelings in my active drinking years replaced by the intensity of feelings and thoughts that are actually good, genuine, positive. The pain and self-hatred were intense, captured in the recesses of my mind and in some of the poems I wrote during that time.
The intensity of joy, gratitude, peace, self-acceptance that I can experience today is reason for pause. I don't always feel these positive emotions, but I know them and I seek them. We need both the highs and lows of our emotions, our humanity, to keep us humble.
Learning to trust my intuition is an ongoing process. Delving into the intensity of healthy emotions is too. Just for today, I will continue both endeavors.
Active alcoholics and addicts don't tend to trust their intuition. Their addiction fools them into trusting their substance of choice more than themselves, at least some of the time. Healthy hunches, true instinct, good sense are possible in recovery. They take some time to find or find back, but they do come. And they are true gifts.
Another "I" word on my mind is intensity. The intensity of the negative feelings in my active drinking years replaced by the intensity of feelings and thoughts that are actually good, genuine, positive. The pain and self-hatred were intense, captured in the recesses of my mind and in some of the poems I wrote during that time.
The intensity of joy, gratitude, peace, self-acceptance that I can experience today is reason for pause. I don't always feel these positive emotions, but I know them and I seek them. We need both the highs and lows of our emotions, our humanity, to keep us humble.
Learning to trust my intuition is an ongoing process. Delving into the intensity of healthy emotions is too. Just for today, I will continue both endeavors.
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