Experience and Effervescence
Today I am grateful for a pleasant day experiencing the holiday spirit yesterday. It started with a chilly but satisfying run with Darcy and included a little gift-wrapping, holiday letter sending, time taking in the holiday decorations and lighting at the Mall of America, and classic holiday TV viewing.
I am also grateful for what my life's experience has taught me. Drinking experience didn't make me a better drinker, it made me more obviously a problem drinker. In my drinking days, my experience was literally showing me the progression of disease. Some of that I could only figure out in hindsight.
Some became obvious in the deeper pain I was feeling and trying to numb, more concerns in my own heart and more raised by others who care about me.
Experiencing anguish and turmoil helped me reach a point of surrender and seeking help. I wouldn't be in recovery today if I hadn't been in that dark spot then.
Another "e" word came to mind as I considered alcohol: effervescence. The bubbly and fizzy nature of some of the beverages I enjoyed partaking of. The bubbly and fizzy wore off and depression would grab me tighter as drunken nights wore on, as drinking years added up.
Today, because of recovery, because of the daily discipline, because of supportive people, life's effervescence continues to bubble up and emerge in my life.
Out of the despair and depression of alcoholism comes the enthusiasm for life that I have today. Just for today, as long as I walk the walk of recovery and health.
I am also grateful for what my life's experience has taught me. Drinking experience didn't make me a better drinker, it made me more obviously a problem drinker. In my drinking days, my experience was literally showing me the progression of disease. Some of that I could only figure out in hindsight.
Some became obvious in the deeper pain I was feeling and trying to numb, more concerns in my own heart and more raised by others who care about me.
Experiencing anguish and turmoil helped me reach a point of surrender and seeking help. I wouldn't be in recovery today if I hadn't been in that dark spot then.
Another "e" word came to mind as I considered alcohol: effervescence. The bubbly and fizzy nature of some of the beverages I enjoyed partaking of. The bubbly and fizzy wore off and depression would grab me tighter as drunken nights wore on, as drinking years added up.
Today, because of recovery, because of the daily discipline, because of supportive people, life's effervescence continues to bubble up and emerge in my life.
Out of the despair and depression of alcoholism comes the enthusiasm for life that I have today. Just for today, as long as I walk the walk of recovery and health.
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