Being the Marginalizer

Living gratefully today, I appreciate clean drinking water and the ease of indoor plumbing. I give thanks to those people who help guide me to my true self.

In writing about feeling marginalized, it became clear to me that I have also been the marginalizer at times. It’s safe to say we all have been. How have I marginalized others?  How have I made others feel less significant, unimportant?  How have I pushed others to the periphery of what ever group we were in at the time?

By having my own agenda and forcing it into the discussion. By not fully listening to who is speaking. Maybe because I am too busy formulating my own thoughts, or because I am already judging what they are saying. Full attention, 100% listening, is one of the best gifts we can give another person, in any circumstance. 

Whether it is someone we know very well, or that we just met, kind and compassionate listening will create a connection in this moment. What is being said will be felt as much as it is heard.

I don’t set out to marginalize others intentionally. My wrong-sized ego takes over and I think I am right, that I know better. I think that my opinion needs to be heard because it will be helpful. It will bring understanding, or the shift I am hoping for.

My thinking head gets in the way of my feeling heart and connected soul. I have not only marginalized the other person, I have also marginalized myself. 

I have been both the marginalized and the marginalizer. Awareness of both will help me be both less.