Tipsy

Today I am grateful for the morning sunshine streaming in to our living room and for my ability to hear.

Apparently I am pondering my two diseases on my way through "T." It was Taxotere and cancer yesterday and today it is TIPSY and alcoholism. Tipsy. Slightly drunk. Unsteady or foolish from drinking. Or as defined by the Urban Dictionary: The state when you are drinking alcohol in which you are past light headedness but before being drunk.

Slightly drunk meant I was just getting started. You might hear a normal drinker say something like "I better stop, I am getting a little tipsy." I never said that and I never understood it. Tipsy was never a stopping point for me. It was a starting point. It didn't last long because I usually drank fast enough to move right on to drunk. I don't understand the idea of social drinking. I don't know an alcoholic, recovering or not, who understands that. It's laughable to us, and also elusive. It's part of our disease.

Unsteady or foolish from drinking. I did fit that definition of tipsy. Many times over. Unsteady in the physical sense, but also the mental, emotional, and spiritual. And quite foolish, downright stupid at times, with my safety, with my own well-being, with my decisions. I am forever grateful that I survived my drinking career. I certainly could have ended up a sad statistic. It is only a matter of grace from a Higher Power that I did not.

Today I am grateful for those who helped me see that my drinking was not typical or normal, that it was progressing and hurting me. I am grateful for the support I have from family and friends in my daily recovery from alcoholism.

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