Habitual Gratitude

Today I am grateful for jigsaw puzzles--the literal and the figurative--that come together with patience and an open mind. I am also grateful for the recovery connections I have. They mean so much and help me in such significant ways. DEPRESSION is a dangerous and damaging mental illness. Left untreated, it can be deadly. Depressed people die by suicide. Depressed people overdose on alcohol and other drugs. Depressed people forget to take care of themselves and may have more physical illnesses as well. That's some of the bad news. My heart aches for those I personally know who have been impacted by their own or someone else's challenges with depression.  My heart especially aches for those who have had loved ones die by suicide. My generation of my family, and the next one following, have known and continue to know the toll of depression. We are all still here, and there is hope. Hope. The good news is that depression is treatable and effective ongoing results often come ...

Today I am grateful for concerted family effort to prepare, enjoy, and clean up after a wonderful Thanksgiving meal, and for some sledding fun with our grandson Leo. Returning to the A-Z list of challenges, C is for CANCER. Six letters that have wreaked so much havoc on my sisters and I. Six years ago, we were holding steady in survivorship. Six months ago, my sister Mary Jo was in her final weeks of life. Eleven years ago, I was recovering from my fourth and final round of chemotherapy and preparing for my third and final surgery--bilateral mastectomy. Challenges showed themselves in many ways throughout those months. One of the most challenging times was the several-week period between my confirmed diagnosis on May 29, 2008 and my first surgery--lumpectomy and sentinel node biopsy--on July 17. There is nothing easy about knowing you have cancer in your body and having to wait several weeks for the next big step. I took uptight to a new level. It was a challenge to undergo che...

Living gratefully today, I am humbled by the abundance of meaningful connections and inspired goals that I am blessed to have. I attended Thanksgiving eve services at our church last evening, with my husband Darcy and son Sam.  To be honest, I was tired and went a little begrudgingly. It ended up being just what I needed and more. During the service we did a Thanksgiving litany. It is from the Episcopal "Book of Common Prayer." Here are some of the things for which we gave thanks:     beauty and wonder of creation         earth, sky and sea             daily food                homes and families             friends         minds to think     hearts to love         hands to serve             health and strength to work            ...

Today I am grateful for warm boots and other winter gear, and the physical capability to shovel some fresh snow greeting us this morning. An abundance of "B" words are calling to be written about. Yesterday's alcoholism is today's torturous BLACKOUT. Drinkers in a blackout are still awake and functioning (albeit not very well) and this can go on for hours. There is just no recollection of it the next day, hence the anguish of wondering what was said and done, and what was seen and heard by others. Blackouts are a clear sign of problem drinking and they were a common symptom for me. BLIND SPOTS are those things about ourselves that hinder us but that we don't even see, or at the very least we lack understanding. We all have them. One of my significant blind spots has always been my selfishness and self-centeredness. I am still working on this one, though substantial progress and awareness have come. In my younger days, I thought "How can I be selfish? I ha...

Today I am grateful I survived my years of active alcoholism, and I am grateful that I understand that recovery from alcoholism is a daily endeavor. This A-Z list of challenges starts with ALCOHOLISM. There are things that served as catalysts for my drinking... curiosity was typical, wanting to escape myself and the reality I had created in my own head, less typical. Initially I was having fun, and I certainly appreciated the release of emotions, long pent up, that came. It didn't take long for this line to ring true though: "The chains of alcohol are too weak to be felt until they are too strong to be broken." I wasn't even 16 yet. My drinking spanned ten years, and progressed significantly in that time. I was a blackout drinker, and before I was done I had increased then deceased tolerance, brief periods of paranoia, and many attempts to quit on my own. My behavior was high-risk and my drinking dangerous. My self-hate and lack of self-care and compassion deepene...

Living gratefully today, I am noticing what happens when a key light bulb burns out and we have no replacement on hand. There are other sources of light and I appreciate that. Sources of light take many forms and serve many functions. If you have read even a few of my posts, you hopefully concluded that this is not a "gratitude as glossing over" practice. This is a "gleaning gratitude in the good and the god-awful times" practice. Living gratefully does not give me immunity from challenges, but it definitely gives me energy and guidance to move through them. In my years of gratitude practice, I have learned these truths: Gratitude is always possible. Gratitude shared is gratitude multiplied. Granted, I may not see the silver lining in a challenge right away, but the rainbow always shows up after a storm. It may not show up on my timeline. It shows itself when I have become willing and humbled. One of the biggest challenges in my life, and for my sisters and ...

Living gratefully today, I appreciate the beautiful sliver of the moon that greeted Oliver and I on our morning walk, and the oatmeal Darcy and I shared for breakfast. On Friday, we saw the sun more than we had for several days. Yesterday, it was out in even fuller glory. Gray day after gray day, compounded by shorter daylight, and I really started to miss the light and energy that the sun brings. It is easy to sense the same in others as well; at work, at home, and just out and about. Sunshine not only brightens the sky and all it touches, it brightens the human spirit. So yesterday here are some of the ways I soaked up the sun: *My friend Jill and I found the sunniest spot to sit in at the coffee shop. Good to see you Jill! *Though it impeded my sight as I drove, I said thank you to the sun and appreciated having to put my sunglasses on. Besides, I like how I look in my shades. :-) *As I rode with my son Sam and husband Darcy, I savored the warmth of the sunshine before the...