Striving to be More Benign
Today I am grateful for the kind and gentle role models I have had in my life. I am also grateful for progress in the area of "If you can't say something good, don't say anything at all."
My trip into the land of the B in my dictionary landed on the word benign. Even before my two sisters and I were diagnosed with breast cancer, I knew full well that a benign biopsy or tumor was good news indeed. I also remember feeling guilty after their diagnoses and before mine, each time I had a normal mammogram and got the all-clear. That guilt of getting the good news they didn't get to hear. And then I got the bad news too-the opposite of benign-malignant. I know how it feels to be on both sides now. There is a hard-earned perspective in that.
This previous definition of benign is probably the one that most of us think of first when we hear the word. But benign can be taken further. Other definitions include:
-of a gentle disposition, gracious
-showing kindness and gentleness
-favorable, wholesome
Or how about benignant? (Yes, it rhymes with malignant.) It is defined as serenely mild and kindly. Now there is a goal to aspire to. Serenely mild? I wish I could remember that BEFORE I open my harsh mouth and unleash on someone (usually a family member). Kindly? I do better with that one, but there is always room for improvement, and again I need to start at home.
Oh yes, I know. One shouldn't be too kind or gentle. It is frowned upon as a show of weakness in our society today. I say bring on the weakness! It might allow some people to give up their stranglehold on the elusive pursuit of "perfect" and "just right" that has them running themselves and others into the ground.
I will work to show my gentleness today. I will strive for a disposition that doesn't send others turning away. I will strive to be more benign.
My trip into the land of the B in my dictionary landed on the word benign. Even before my two sisters and I were diagnosed with breast cancer, I knew full well that a benign biopsy or tumor was good news indeed. I also remember feeling guilty after their diagnoses and before mine, each time I had a normal mammogram and got the all-clear. That guilt of getting the good news they didn't get to hear. And then I got the bad news too-the opposite of benign-malignant. I know how it feels to be on both sides now. There is a hard-earned perspective in that.
This previous definition of benign is probably the one that most of us think of first when we hear the word. But benign can be taken further. Other definitions include:
-of a gentle disposition, gracious
-showing kindness and gentleness
-favorable, wholesome
Or how about benignant? (Yes, it rhymes with malignant.) It is defined as serenely mild and kindly. Now there is a goal to aspire to. Serenely mild? I wish I could remember that BEFORE I open my harsh mouth and unleash on someone (usually a family member). Kindly? I do better with that one, but there is always room for improvement, and again I need to start at home.
Oh yes, I know. One shouldn't be too kind or gentle. It is frowned upon as a show of weakness in our society today. I say bring on the weakness! It might allow some people to give up their stranglehold on the elusive pursuit of "perfect" and "just right" that has them running themselves and others into the ground.
I will work to show my gentleness today. I will strive for a disposition that doesn't send others turning away. I will strive to be more benign.
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